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| Trump promises to create colorblind and merit-based society, end DEI hires | The |
| Posted on Tuesday, January 21 @ 00:00:29 PST (41 reads) | |
|
His administration will ‘end the onslaught of useless and overpaid dei activists,’ president says
president donald trump promised to end the biden administration’s prioritization of “useless” diversity, equity, and inclusion hires and instead support a “merit-based” society in his inaugural address monday.
the republican president also said he will change federal government policy so that it recognizes only two sexes.
“this week, i will … end the government policy of trying to socially engineer race and gender into every aspect of public and private life. We will forge a society that is colorblind and merit-based,” trump said.
“as of today, it will henceforth be the official policy of the united states government that there are only two genders, male and female,” he said.
???? Just in: trump announces he is terminating diversity, equity and inclusion federal policies (dei)
“we will forge a society that is color blind and merit based.” Pic.Twitter.Com/yzf8agep2w
— eric daugherty (@ericldaugh) january 20, 2025
the white house website also published trump’s priorities monday afternoon, including an end to dei hiring.
“he will freeze bureaucrat hiring except in essential areas to end the onslaught of useless and overpaid dei activists buried into the federal workforce,” it states.
additionally, the “president will establish male and female as biological reality and protect women from radical gender ideology,” according to the website.
both issues are linked closely with higher education.
the biden administration’s dei policies and hiring practices tricked down into colleges and universities.
within the past four years, the democrat-led administration spent billions of tax dollars on dei-focused grants to scientists and educators . For example, the university of missouri at st. Louis received a $306,209 grant to provide “antiracist social-emotional” training to public school counselors, the college fix reported .
a number of scientists pushed back on the ideologically-focused funding projects, with one describing it to the fix as “pseudoscience, miseducation, and ideological indoctrination.”
many believe the trump administration will stop funding such projects and instead direct tax dollars to research and educational projects based on their merit.
additionally, the president’s promise to recognize “biological reality” could bring about changes in women’s collegiate athletics, and males who identify as female may be barred from competitions, changing rooms, and other women only-spaces.
on the campaign trail, trump promised to reform higher education.
these promises include “fir[ing] the radical left accreditors that have allowed our colleges to become dominated by marxist maniacs and lunatics,” the fix reported .
“the time has come to reclaim our once great educational institutions from the radical left, and we will do that,” trump said in a 2023 campaign video. “… We will then accept applications for new accreditors who will impose real standards on colleges once again and once and for all.”
the republican leader also said he will “shut down” the u.S. Department of education, a task other republicans have proposed but failed to bring to fruition.
more: hbcu marching band scolded for accepting invite to trump’s inauguration
image: joint congressional committee on inaugural ceremonies/x
read more |
( Read More... | 6858 bytes more | comments? |   ) |
| |
| List of scenes edited internationally |
| Posted on Tuesday, January 21 @ 00:00:29 PST (4 reads) | |
|
|
Line 2,475: | line 2,475: | ||
==== [[the greatest story ever dohed]] ==== |
==== [[the greatest story ever dohed]] ==== |
||
? | * This episode has not been shown on sky showcase since late 2023 |
+ | * this episode has not been shown on sky showcase since late 2023, most likely because of the gaza-israel conflict (the episode involves the simpsons going to jerusalem and it also makes numerous jokes about israel and judaism). |
====[[american history x-cellent]]==== |
====[[american history x-cellent]]==== |
||
line 2,560: | line 2,560: | ||
*patty saying, bastard. Was cut in channel 4 and sky showcase airings, but was later reinstated on sky showcase with the episode pin-locked for content. |
*patty saying, bastard. Was cut in channel 4 and sky showcase airings, but was later reinstated on sky showcase with the episode pin-locked for content. |
||
*[[katy perry (character)|katy perry]] saying, but i didn’t say stop. After telling the moe puppet that hes not kissing her belly button was cut in channel 4 airings. |
*[[katy perry (character)|katy perry]] saying, but i didn’t say stop. After telling the moe puppet that hes not kissing her belly button was cut in channel 4 airings. |
||
? | **Despite this, the ned puppets arms ripping off when trying to get the christmas tree off |
+ | **despite this, the ned puppets arms ripping off when trying to get the christmas tree off the homer puppet wasnt cut. |
====[[donnie fatso]]==== |
====[[donnie fatso]]==== |
||
line 2,583: | line 2,583: | ||
*the chinese nuclear plant exploding after homer cuts the red ribbon was cut in channel 4 airings following the 2011 fukushima power plant incident, but this was later reinstated. |
*the chinese nuclear plant exploding after homer cuts the red ribbon was cut in channel 4 airings following the 2011 fukushima power plant incident, but this was later reinstated. |
||
*sky showcase (though not channel 4) cut digby saying, i slept with everyone in the cast. Including the dog! To just i slept with everyone in the cast. (Which leaves the implication of bestiality ambiguous), but this was eventually reinstated. |
*sky showcase (though not channel 4) cut digby saying, i slept with everyone in the cast. Including the dog! To just i slept with everyone in the cast. (Which leaves the implication of bestiality ambiguous), but this was eventually reinstated. |
||
? | **Despite this, homer strangling bart for longer than usual while thinking wasnt cut, nor was homer and marge being shown topless in the bed (which ned, rod and todd saw), the ghost of a kid being shown with a rake through his body, the chinese people using a teddy bear, stuffed bunny and dog food can as weapons or scratchy being cut in half by a bear in the itchy & scratchy cartoon. |
+ | **despite this, homer strangling bart for longer than usual while thinking wasnt cut, nor was homer and marge being shown topless in the bed (which ned, rod and todd saw), the ghost of a kid being shown with a rake through his body, the chinese people using a teddy bear, stuffed bunny and dog food can as weapons; or scratchy being cut in half by a bear in the itchy & scratchy cartoon. |
====[[the blue and the gray]]==== |
====[[the blue and the gray]]==== |
||
line 2,593: | line 2,593: | ||
* the name of the cartoon space penis was cut in channel 4 airings. |
* the name of the cartoon space penis was cut in channel 4 airings. |
||
**despite this, the graphic violence included in the itchy & scratchy cartoon wasnt cut. |
**despite this, the graphic violence included in the itchy & scratchy cartoon wasnt cut. |
||
? | * |
+ | *sky showcase has not aired this episode since they retrieved the rights to air simpsons episodes from channel 4. While there is no concrete reason, it has been speculated that the episode was pulled in light of the sexual abuse allegations against russell brand (who guest starred in this episode), though american tv has aired this in spite of the allegations. |
====[[the scorpions tale]]==== |
====[[the scorpions tale]]==== |
latest revision as of 00:44, 21 january 2025
this article contains a
controversy. We absolutely take no responsibility for any controversial topics (including this page). Read at your own risk, should you continue. That is all.
the reason given is: these scenes were edited or censored in the international.
note: this list is not for deleted scenes, just ones censored internationally, there is a
|
this is a list of scenes that have been edited in international versions of the simpsons. These mostly include censorship from bbc, channel 4, and sky showcase, but there have been instances of australia, canada, and even the shows native united states editing scenes for content and time.
tracey ullman shorts
season 1
babysitting maggie
- act 1 of this short was cut in syndication, due to
maggie simpsonputting a fork inside an electrical outlet.
the pacifier
bartsaying, how long are you going to keep sucking on that stupid pacifier? Was cut in syndication.Maggie simpsonwalking down a hall to find a new pacifier was cut in syndication.
burp contest
margelooking at her family stunned aftermaggie simpsonburps was cut in syndication.
eating dinner
- the news reporter saying on tonights news, bus plunge kills forty-three. Freak roller coaster accident decapitates a family of five. And a sneak preview of todays exciting bikini beachwear. But first this important message. Was edited in syndication to cut everything after the word decapitates.
season 2
[making faces](/wiki/making_faces)
- act 2 was cut in syndication, where the kids try to imitate
[marge](/wiki/marge_simpson)s scowl.
season 3
[shut up simpsons](/wiki/shut_up_simpsons)
[maggie](/wiki/maggie_simpson)squeaking her toy rabbit causing everyone to look at her, was cut in syndication.
[shoplifting](/wiki/shoplifting)
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson)and[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson)coming to pick up[bart](/wiki/bart_simpson)was cut in syndication.
[home hypnotism](/wiki/home_hypnotism)
- the beginning is shortened when airing in syndication. Marge saying i dont know, homer. The kids get kind of rambunctious sometimes, but i think thats normal. Was slightly shortened with the last two letters of the line removed, homer saying a little rambunctious? Theyre bouncing off the walls! Was shortened to cut a little, and homer saying laughing zombies! Was cut.
[the simpsons](/wiki/the_simpsons)
[season 1](/wiki/season_1)
[bart the general](/wiki/bart_the_general)
- the opening shot of the simpsonss house was cut on the
[the complete first season](/wiki/the_complete_first_season)dvd. - In channel 4 airings, during the scene of abe typing out a complaint letter about how filthy television has become, his line, we are not all vibrant, fun loving sex maniacs. Was shortened to cut the word sex, and the word horny from the list of words abe doesnt want to hear on tv again was cut, though not family jewels (which is a slang term for male genitals) on both that scene and the previous one where homer tells bart to attack nelson in the family jewels.
[moaning lisa](/wiki/moaning_lisa)
- most of bart and homers subplot (where homer tries to beat bart in a boxing video game) was cut in bbc airings, including barts boxer decapitating homers boxer, barts boxer dancing on homers boxers grave, and homers boxer beating barts boxer.
- despite these cuts, there were no cuts to the main plot of lisa being depressed about life and running away from home to meet bleeding gums murphy at the bridge.
[the telltale head](/wiki/the_telltale_head)
- the region 1 version of the complete first season dvd and most televised reruns in america cut part of barts speech to the mob about taking the towns heritage for granted (which, according to matt groening, was only put there due to fox executives wanting the episode to have a moral tagged to it), and muted the bells and crowd sounds at the end. The disney+ streaming version has this ending uncut.
- homer simpson saying most lynch mobs arent this nice. Was cut on the uks bbc channel and in versions that have the longer ending.
[krusty gets busted](/wiki/krusty_gets_busted)
- in early uk broadcasts, the scene of krustys on-air heart attack as hes grilling pork and other meats was reduced to just kent brockman briefly describing it in voice-over, due to the similarities between the scene and the death of british comedian tommy cooper, who died from a heart attack on live television just a few years earlier (the network censors couldnt cut all references to krustys heart attack, as it was a major plot point in bart and lisa figuring out that the krusty who robbed the kwik-e-mart was an imposter).
[season 2](/wiki/season_2)
[simpson and delilah](/wiki/simpson_and_delilah)
- a bit of the audio commentary is cut out from the
[the complete second season](/wiki/the_complete_second_season)uk dvd release. The episode received a u rating in the uk, but, the word semen was used in the audio commentary, which would have raised the rating to a pg or 12. In order to keep in line with the u rating, 15 seconds were cut from the commentary by muting out that word.
[treehouse of horror](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror)
- in channel 4 airings, the flashing lights during the opening were slowed down very slightly.
- in bad dream house:
- the house saying, you must kill them all. They all must die. Was muted in channel 4 airings, during watershed hours, but was originally uncut in 2010.
- the house saying, the butcher knife, lisa., Followed by lisa picking up the knife was cut in sky showcase airings, but was later added back in. In channel 4 airings, during watershed hours, only lisa picking up the knife was cut, but was originally uncut in 2010.
- homer saying, they all must die. Was cut in channel 4 airings, during watershed hours, but was originally uncut in 2010.
- the houses disembodied voice saying, die, die, everybody die!, And the shots of the family fiendishly laughing whilst holding their weapons was cut in channel 4 airings, during watershed hours, but was originally uncut in 2010. It was once cut in sky showcase airings, but was later added back in.
- the house saying that the simpsons intestines will boil, their eyes will burst and some horrible stuff, possibly their brains, would come out through their noses was cut in
[channel 4](/wiki/channel_4)airings, during watershed hours, though not marge yelling at the house to stop saying those horrible things (however, homer saying that marges hands shaking from anger was better than her eyes bursting was cut). In original channel 4 airings from 2010, the whole scene was uncut. - Homer saying, wow. And bart simpson saying, bitchin! As the house implodes was cut in channel 4 airings, during watershed hours, but was originally uncut in 2010.
- the flashing lights before the title card of hungry are the damned were slowed down in channel 4 airings.
- despite these edits, the scene with the walls oozing blood and bart asking the house to repeat the effect from bad dream house wasnt cut.
[bart the daredevil](/wiki/bart_the_daredevil)
- the full intro was edited in sky showcase and bbc airings to cut to the driveway.
- homer banging a glass on the table was cut in sky showcase and bbc airings.
- two scenes of the
[truckasaurus](/wiki/truckasaurus)scene were cut in sky showcase and bbc airings (homer being pulled out of a car by the rescue team and marge saying wow, a woman mud puller). - Lisa telling bart he will kill himself if he jumps springfield gorge was cut on sky showcase and bbc airings.
- despite this, lance murdock encouraging bart to jump springfield gorge wasnt cut, nor was bart saying, bitchin! As he watches lance murdock try to get out of the water tank, the announcers line in barts dream: ladies and gentlemen, the ten-year old whos brave and bold, when hes not in class, hes risking his ass, the worlds greatest daredevil,
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson)!; Or the famous scene of homer falling down springfield gorge twice (it should be noted that the second fall where the ambulance crashes and homer falls out never had the repeat scenes of homer falling with the gurney landing on his head. This was new footage created for the season 4 episode [so its come to this: a simpsons clip show](/wiki/so_it%27s_come_to_this:_a_simpsons_clip_show)).
- despite this, lance murdock encouraging bart to jump springfield gorge wasnt cut, nor was bart saying, bitchin! As he watches lance murdock try to get out of the water tank, the announcers line in barts dream: ladies and gentlemen, the ten-year old whos brave and bold, when hes not in class, hes risking his ass, the worlds greatest daredevil,
[itchy & scratchy & marge](/wiki/itchy_%26_scratchy_%26_marge)
- itchy stabbing scratchy in the stomach on the cartoon kitchen kut-ups was cut in channel 4 airings, it was once shown uncut in evening airings, but was shown cut on
[april](/wiki/april)10th, 2023 in the 6pm slot.- Despite this cut, there were no edits to maggie hitting homer on the head with a mallet, the itchy & scratchy cartoon where the duo stop hitting each other and team up to decapitate a marge squirrel who scolds them for hitting each other with bats, roger meyers dictating a letter to marge that ends with ...And the horse i rode in on, (with the missing first part being fuck you...), Or any scene with s.N.U.H protesting against michaelangelos david being brought in to springfield.
[the way we was](/wiki/the_way_we_was)
[jacqueline](/wiki/jacqueline_bouvier)saying, whores use rouge. While prepping marge for the prom was cut in channel 4 airings, but is uncut in evening airings.- Despite this, homer and barney smoking in the bathroom wasnt cut, nor was marge burning a bra as part of a womens rights protest, mcbain throwing someone out the window in the film, selma telling patty that marges dates are ugly because marge doesnt put out, principal dondelinger stopping a student from entering the prom because he has a bong, barney streaking during the prom and principal dondelinger commenting that he now has a decades worth of detention, and artie nearly raping marge in the car after the prom.
[homer vs. Lisa and the 8th commandment](/wiki/homer_vs._lisa_and_the_8th_commandment)
- the flashing lights in the opening when moses first appears were slowed down in channel 4 airings so that they flash less.
- despite this, the subplot of bart finding the stolen cable hook-ups porno channel and charging admission to the neighborhood kids to see it, only to get caught by homer, wasnt cut.
[oh brother, where art thou?](/Wiki/oh_brother,_where_art_thou%3f)
[mcbain](/wiki/mcbain)gunning down all of[mendoza](/wiki/senator_mendoza)s associates during the movie in the beginning was cut on bbc airings. While channel 4 didnt edit that scene, they did shorten the part where mcbain tosses mendoza out the window (which bbc didnt cut).- During the flashback of abe meeting the carny woman before he married homers mom, abes line about the carny woman, she would do things your mother would never do, like have sex for money, was cut down to she would do things your mother would never do (which still implies that the carny woman had a wild sexual side that was unlike what mona had) on channel 4 airings.
- the car ride home from the hospital was cut in bbc airings because of its excessive use of the word bastard (which bart actually uses correctly in this context, since abe and the carny woman werent married when herb was conceived, but bart still gets in trouble for it because bastard is a curse word). The channel 4 airings also cut the part, but they leave in lisa saying, a long-lost half-brother. How dickensian!
[herbert powell](/wiki/herbert_powell)saying welcome to my home, brother. And homer replying holy moly, the bastards rich! Was cut in bbc airings. In contrast, sky showcase left in herb saying welcome to my house, brother, but cut homers holy moly, the bastards rich! Line, while channel 4 shortens homers holy moly, the bastards rich! Line down to holy moly!- Despite this, the itchy & scratchy cartoon, sundae bloody sundae (the first one to feature blood), wasnt edited in any way, nor was the scene of homer running to the gas station bathroom and a man randomly asking him what hes doing in there.
[barts dog gets an f](/wiki/bart%27s_dog_gets_an_f)
- marge showing lisa her sewing callus by burning her finger with a lighter was cut in channel 4 airings in the uk, and network 10 airings in australia.
[ms. Winthrop](/wiki/emily_winthrop)saying bloody twits. Was edited in channel 4 airings so that bloody is cut.[Ms. Winthrop](/wiki/emily_winthrop)saying pull the bloody chain, boy! Was edited in channel 4 airings so that bloody was cut.[Ms. Winthrop](/wiki/emily_winthrop)saying you son of a bitch! Was edited in bbc airings so that bitch! Was cut (even though its more-or-less used correctly in this context, since santas little helper is a dog), while channel 4 airings cut the entire line.
[brush with greatness](/wiki/brush_with_greatness)
- bart yelling, bitchin! As he slides down the h2-whoa! Was cut in channel 4 airings.
- marges line, hes just a little s.O.B! As shes trying to keep homer from eating whipped cream out of depression was cut in channel 4 airings.
- despite these edits, channel 4 didnt cut mr. Burns fat-shaming homer after homer announces that hes down to his target weight, bart and lisas jump rope rhyme lincoln, lincoln/ive been thinking/what the hell have you been drinking?/Is it water?/Is it wine?/Oh, my god!/Its turpentine!, The news anchors making fun of homer getting stuck on the h2-whoa!, The sign that reads this park is not copless, so ladies, dont go topless and has a picture of a security guard carrying a topless woman over his shoulder, or the end where mr. Burns thanks marge for not making fun of his genitalia in the portrait, with marge commenting, i thought i did.
[three men and a comic book](/wiki/three_men_and_a_comic_book)
- the screen fading to black as bart drinks his soda was cut in bbc airings (this was more of a time cut, as the episode was going to commercial at that point).
- the flashing lights as comic book guy laughs fiendishly were slowed down in channel 4 airings.
- despite this, mrs. Glick watching two people making out on tv, which she describes as filthy, but genuinely arousing, wasnt cut, nor was mrs. Glick cleaning barts wounds with iodine, the flashback of mrs. Glicks brother, asa, dying from holding a grenade for too long (this ones for you, kaiser bill. Special delivery from uncle sam and all the boys from d company. Yeah, johnny, harrison, brooklyn bob, and reggie. Yeah, even reggie. He aint so stuck up once you get to --), homers line, well, t.S. [Tough shit] after bart begs him for money for radioactive man #1; bart, milhouse and martin strangling each other as they fight over the comic, and homer seeing bart, milhouse, and martin fighting in the treehouse during the thunderstorm and not doing anything to save them.
[season 3](/wiki/season_3)
[stark raving dad](/wiki/stark_raving_dad)
- following the release of the documentary, leaving neverland, and the new and confirmed accusations of child sexual abuse by michael jackson, this episode has now been banned from newer releases of the complete third season dvd (older releases still have the episode), disney+, and all cable reruns, both in america and overseas.
[when flanders failed](/wiki/when_flanders_failed)
- the screen fading to black as homer chokes on his burger was missing in bbc airings. Channel 4 airings showed the part where he choked, but missed the sigh afterwards.
- american free-tv syndication also cuts homer choking on his burger as he laughs evilly, but the american syndicated version cuts off before viewers can see homer actually choking. The scene has since been reinstated for cable syndication, dvd release, and streaming.
[bart the murderer](/wiki/bart_the_murderer)
- the end of the itchy & scratchy cartoon the sound of silencers was cut in channel 4 airings to remove itchy gunning down a gangster cat while spelling the end in bullets, but was originally uncut from 2010-2015.
- despite this, the mention of prostitution as one of barts offenses wasnt cut, nor was homer thinking bart is storing cigarettes in his room so he can smoke them (until a delivery man drops off another shipment), the act one break where bart gets guns pointed at him after falling down the stairs, or the scene from the made-for-tv movie blood on the blackboard: the bart simpson story of bart (played by neil patrick harris) threatening a tied-up principal skinner with a gun and getting spit on.
[like father, like clown](/wiki/like_father,_like_clown)
[krusty](/wiki/krusty_the_clown)saying ooh, sex chat as hes holding up the business card with the sex chat phone number on it was cut in channel 4 airings, but is uncut in evening and post-watershed.- Despite this, krusty actually calling the number and finding that there are no sexy ladies on the other lines wasnt cut, nor was krusty walking past the springfield-x cinema showing the films for your thighs only, crocodile done me, and doctor strangepants, or the itchy and scratchy cartoon where itchy and his son run over scratchy and his son with a wheat thresher (and, for continuity reasons, krusty crying over the cartoon).
[treehouse of horror ii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_ii)
- the flashing lights in the opening were slowed in channel 4 airings.
- the flashing lights at the start of each nightmare were slowed down in channel 4 airings.
- all mention of bonerland as the new name for america in barts nightmare (edna krabappel saying and our country isn’t called america anymore; its… bonerland, barts test sheet with bonerland as the answer, and dr. Marvin monroes office window reading, dr. Marvin monroe. Child psychologist. Member of the bonerland medical association) were cut/digitally altered on channel 4 airings.
- the flashing lights as burns and mr. Smithers go down to the laboratory were slowed down in channel 4 airings.
- the next week on the simpsons fake preview where lisa tells homer that springfield elementary is running a spaghetti night and mr. Burns head tells homer that theyve been invited to meet queen beatrix of the netherlands (and homer grousing, i hate having two heads!) Was cut in sky showcase airings, but was later added back in.
[saturdays of thunder](/wiki/saturdays_of_thunder)
- the scene in mcbains latest movie where mcbains partner, scoey, gets gunned down by a diner waiter was cut on channel 4 and sky showcase, but was originally uncut on channel 4 from 2010-2017.
- homer using
[bill cosby](/wiki/bill_cosby)s book was cut in channel 4 airings, following cosby being outed as a sexual predator (it was originally uncut from 2010-2017). - The two
[weasels](/wiki/weasels)handing[nelson](/wiki/nelson_muntz)a knife before he starts the race and nelson banging their heads together was cut on bbc airings, while channel 4 airings only cut the knife part, but it was originally uncut on channel 4 from 2010-2017. The entire scene was once cut on sky showcase airings, but was later reinstated.- Neither channel cuts
[nelson](/wiki/nelson_muntz)putting his cigarette out on his tongue after being told not to smoke in the pit area, martin crashing his soapbox racer, the racer being set on fire, and martin running screaming out of it (also on fire); someone banging from inside nelsons soapbox racer and[nelson](/wiki/nelson_muntz)snapping, you didnt hear nothing!, Homer accidentally drinking paint thinner and spitting it out during the father/son montage, selma spraying barney with mace, or[nelson](/wiki/nelson_muntz)using a whip on bart during the race.
- neither channel cuts
[bart the lover](/wiki/bart_the_lover)
- in the world without zinc short film, the scene of billy trying to shoot himself in the head, only to learn that the gun he has doesnt work without zinc was cut in channel 4 airings.
- the strobe light effects during the yo-yo assembly were cut down on channel 4 airings.
- bbc airings cut bart prefacing the yo-yo trick that breaks the classroom fish tank with, its a little trick i call, plucking the pickle. I just build up a little steam and...
- homer going through any celebrities who became famous for yo-yo tricks (which include donald trump, arnold palmer, and bill cosby) was cut to remove the mention of bill cosby (though not
[donald trump](/wiki/donald_trump)) in channel 4 airings, following cosby being outed as a sexual predator (it was originally uncut from 2010-2017). - The swear jar subplot was cut in bbc airings to remove homer nearly cursing in church after putting a $20 bill in the collection plate and homer almost calling flanders a dirty bastard after flanders gets royalty checks in the mail for his work in commercials now that he shaved his mustache, though not homer nearly yelling, oh, you son of a -- after almost getting a strike. In channel 4 airings, only the part in the church was cut.
[dog of death](/wiki/dog_of_death)
- mr. Burns telling smithers if i came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say? Was edited in channel 4 airings to remove sniffing at your crotch, though not smithers reply, um, if you did it, sir?
- the scene of mr. Burns brainwashing santas little helper into being a vicious soulless killer was edited in channel 4 airings to remove the first shot of santas little helper strapped to the chair with his eyes forced open while smithers administers eye drops and two scenes from the violent film montage (a poodle getting hit in the nose with a newspaper and infamous footage of lyndon baines johnson holding a dog by the ears as the dog struggles, though the latter scene was severely shortened so that only one frame is shown).
- following the controversy behind leaving neverland and the banning of the season three episode stark raving dad, some international channels, specifically the australian version on network ten, digitally altered the map to remove the name michael jackson from michael jackson expressway. This was also cut from the high-def version of this episode, though not the standard 4:3 definition version, and is also uncut on the season three dvd set (both the original version that had stark raving dad as the season premiere and the newer pressings which removed the episode and now have mr. Lisa goes to washington as the new season premiere).
- despite this, channel 4 didnt digitally remove the words michael jackson expressway on the map, nor did they edit out the cameo of bill cosbys fatherhood book in the fireplace, or cut the scene of marge looking for a good photo for the missing dog poster and finding nothing but photos of homer abusing santas little helper and santas little helper fighting back or the end caption that reads, no animals were harmed during the making of this episode. A cat got sick and someone shot a duck, but thats it.
[black widower](/wiki/black_widower)
- homer saying if some snot-nosed little kid sent me to prison, the first thing out, id find out where he lives... And tear him a new belly button! (With homer miming stabbing during the last part) was edited in channel 4 airings to cut and tear him a new belly button! And the stabbing, but is uncut in evening and post-watershed airings.
- despite this, channel 4 didnt cut sideshow bob telling bart that if he wanted to kill him, hed choke him like a chicken as soon as he was let in the house, krusty sarcastically warning sideshow bob not to drop his daytime emmy in the prison shower, chief wiggum leaving his gun next to the cake where two kids are near it, krusty almost telling the 12-inch pianist joke on the wedding tape, sideshow bob playing the violin outside of two conjugal visit trailers swaying back and forth from sex motions, and bart telling everyone that they should get out of the gas-filled hallway before they all suffocate, then laugh it off.
[the otto show](/wiki/the_otto_show)
- david st. Hubbins saying, well, this is a rock concert, not the bleedin... Splish-splash show. Was cut in channel 4 airings during watershed hours to remove bleedin.
- in barts dream of being a drugged-out british rock star, both instances of him saying, slag off (when barts manager tells him to get on the stage and after milhouse says, youve changed, man. It used to be about the music.) Were cut in channel 4 airings, during watershed hours. Coincidentally (and ironically), the line was originally supposed to be piss off, but the u.S. Censors objected, so it was changed to slag off. Had the actual piss off line been used, it still would have been cut in the uk.
- despite this, otto asking patty if shes always been a chick and if she was born a man during the first time otto takes his drivers test wasnt cut, nor was ottos mad dash to school that ends with the bus getting flipped on its side and everyone rushing to payphones to call the hows my driving? Hotline, nelson saying that barts rendition of polly wolly doodle is polly wolly crappy, otto telling lisa the scary story of the axe-wielding maniac hiding in a womans car, the flashback of homer simpson as a teenager eating food in the backseat of his car (which looks like hes making out with someone), and otto telling patty that he wants to retake the test so he can staple [his] license to homer simpsons big, bald head.
[barts friend falls in love](/wiki/bart%27s_friend_falls_in_love)
- mrs. Krabappel smoking a cigarette and commenting, shes faking it during the sex education class where she shows fuzzy bunnys guide to you-know-what was cut on channel 4 airings, but was later added back in.
- despite this, the rest of the sex education class sequence wasnt cut (including mrs. Krabappel asking two pale religious kids to step outside and pray for the classs souls, mrs. Krabappel saying that her ex-husband mr. Krabappel chased something small and fluffy down a rabbit hole, mrs. Krabappel telling the class that most of them will never fall in love and only marry out of fear of dying alone, and the porn music that plays during the honeymoon part of fuzzy bunnys guide to you-know-what), nor was troy mcclure mentioning that one of his previous educational films was lead paint: delicious but deadly, the imagine spot of marge and the kids mourning over homer dying from obesity-related issues and the rest of the family getting crushed by a piano crate, homer angrily yelling like a jungle native during the indiana jones spoof in the beginning, milhouse saying, when i find out who hit me with that ball, im gonna tear em a new… before he notices samantha, or bart breaking the magic 8 ball across milhouses face during their fight.
[brother, can you spare two dimes?](/Wiki/brother,_can_you_spare_two_dimes%3f)
- the
[chalkboard gag](/wiki/chalkboard_gag)of this episode (i will not fake seizures) was replaced with[black widower](/wiki/black_widower)s chalkboard gag (funny noises are not funny). - Smithers telling mr. Burns that homer is shooting blanks was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut from 2011-2013.
- the memory of homer being on the couch during dallas famous who shot j.R.? Storyline was cut on bbc airings as the uk didnt air dallas yet and didnt want any spoilers to be leaked. This scene has since been reinstated.
- mr. Burns asking smithers if homer is ...The man with the lazy sperm was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut from 2011-2013.
- two references to bart wanting to spend homers award money on a machine gun (during the scene of the family and herb playing a board game and when herb gives bart a membership to the nra before he leaves) was cut on bbc airings, but has since been reinstated.
- herb saying homer, would you stop thinking about your ass? And homer replying i try but i cant… was cut in sky showcase airings, but this was later added back in.
- despite this, the homeless man telling the others around the campfire that he used to be the owner of disney-themed illegal massage parlors until disney shut them down due to copyright infringement wasnt cut on either channel 4, sky showcase, or bbc, nor was herb punching homer in the face when homer answers the door, the microscope slide of homers sperm (both when smithers shows mr. Burns how lazy it is and the end when homer is in the vibrating chair), or homer falling off the balcony during the award show.
[season 4](/wiki/season_4)
[kamp krusty](/wiki/kamp_krusty)
- bart slapping mrs. Krabappel on the butt during the opening dream was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut from 2011-2019.
- dolph, jimbo, and kearney dunking milhouses head in the toilet during the summer vacation countdown was cut on channel 4 after originally airing uncut between 2011 and 2013.
- the photo of the kids watching a cock fight in tijuana, mexico was cut in bbc and channel 4 airings (as per the bbfcs rule against showing animal abuse and cruelty, such as horse falls and cockfights), but was originally uncut on channel 4 from 2011-2013.
- despite these edits, bart decked out in rambo gear (complete with machine gun and bullet bandoliers) during the dream at the beginning wasnt cut, nor was groundskeeper willie spiking the punch at the teachers lounge party during the summer vacation countdown, most of the abuse and squalor the kids went through during their stay at kamp krusty (including milhouse nearly dying of a snake bite and kearney forcing him to get up and continue hiking, the arts and crafts center being turned into a dickensian workhouse with jimbo and kearney forcing the kids to make imitation gucci wallets, and a kid in the infirmary getting cigarette smoke blown in his face during the kamp krusty song montage), kearneys line, heres your cabin. If you dont like it, t.S. [T.S. Meaning tough shit], homer and marge having sex in the shower (and later in bed after homer shows marge that he lost five pounds and grew new hair), some of the rioting when the kids take over the camp (including the kids chanting burn, krusty, burn! Around a flaming effigy of krusty), krusty offending queen elizabeth ii during wimbledon, the paparazzi asking krusty if he attempted suicide over the news about kamp krusty and whether he and princess di are just friends (along with krusty punching the cameraman), and the photo of lisa and bart finding krusty passed out drunk on a mexican street.
[a streetcar named marge](/wiki/a_streetcar_named_marge)
- this episode only aired once in bbc before never airing again due to the offensive
[new orleans](/wiki/new_orleans_(song)) song (and news that the episode reran around the time that hurricane katrina and the destruction and disastrous scandals centered around rescuing people from that area in america made headlines). This was also banned by channel 4, but was later shown from 2011-2013 with the entire song removed. Recent channel 4 airings as of 2019 leave in the new orleans song, even with the word whores uncut, but now cut a different part: barts line, hes such a bitch! While watching the beauty pageant (this was uncut from 2011-2013). - Over in america, the episode did cause controversy over the new orleans musical number, but only around the time of its premiere. There were no edits or cuts done to the song, but the chalkboard line punishment for
[homer the heretic](/wiki/homer_the_heretic) became i will not defame new orleans in response to the complaints.
[homer the heretic](/wiki/homer_the_heretic)
- homer reading a
[playdude](/wiki/playdude)magazine (where he skips over an article about lorne michaels to read the unabashed dictionary feature about an iud [intra-uterine device] being referred to as love springs internal) was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut from 2011-2012.- Despite this, the beginning where homer dreams that hes a fetus swimming in utero until the water drains, the homer fetus tears off his own umbilical cord, and a hand reaches inside to grab him wasnt cut, nor was homer trying to feed apus ganesh statue a peanut and saying, no offense, apu, but when they were handing out gods, you must have been out taking a whiz, homer whizzing with the door open,
[jamshed](/wiki/jay_nahasapeemapetilon)pulling out a gun after apu leaves him in charge of the kwik-e-mart, some of the more threatening/terrifying scenes from the part where homer is trapped in his burning house and flanders tries to save him, and homer imagining himself laughing at flanders while flanders is trapped in his burning house.
- despite this, the beginning where homer dreams that hes a fetus swimming in utero until the water drains, the homer fetus tears off his own umbilical cord, and a hand reaches inside to grab him wasnt cut, nor was homer trying to feed apus ganesh statue a peanut and saying, no offense, apu, but when they were handing out gods, you must have been out taking a whiz, homer whizzing with the door open,
[lisa the beauty queen](/wiki/lisa_the_beauty_queen)
- the beauty pageant audience laughing at
[sanjays](/wiki/sanjay_nahasapeemapetilon)[daughter](/wiki/pahusacheta_nahasapeemapetilon)after she announces shes going to play macarthur park on the tabla was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut from 2011-2019. - The chamber of horrors showing dr. Ruth, mr. T, and
[ronald reagan](/wiki/ronald_reagan)s heads on pikes was cut in channel 4 airings (though not the wax museum tour guide telling bart that dr. Ruths torso was used for lisas wax figure), but was originally uncut from 2011-2013.- Despite this, otto crashing the paralyzer ride car into the school after bart tells him to crank up the speed wasnt cut (it was cut on the old american syndicated version, but only for time, not content. The newer syndicated versions on cable tv, as well as the dvd and streaming versions have this scene uncut), nor was principal skinner beating up the disney lawyer and his goons, bart nearly getting caught for having a three-card monte booth, barts suggestive panting and howling after his line dad, did you see the girls they have at those contests?, Homers line, well, if i could gouge out someone elses eyes and shove em into my sockets, i would, but to me, shes beautiful, one of the beauty pageant contestants line about tina epstein, whoa, if youre going to binge, you better purge, dolph, jimbo, and kearney wheeling the squishee machine out of the kwik-e-mart after marge asks apu and sanjay, whos watching the kwik-e-mart?, Homer eating an entire tub of vaseline after lisa puts some on her teeth for that frictionless smile, and lisa seeing all the kids, as well as a pregnant woman and her own sister, maggie, smoking cigarettes during the parade.
[treehouse of horror iii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_iii)
- lightning flashes during the opening were slowed down in channel 4 airings to avoid any quick lighting effects that could cause seizures to viewers who are epileptic or have issues with photosensitivity.
- the camera flashes during the scene in king homer where king kong homer is chained up onstage were slowed down in channel 4 airings, also to avoid quick lighting effects that could trigger seizures or illness in photosensitive viewers.
[itchy & scratchy: the movie](/wiki/itchy_%26_scratchy:_the_movie)
[edna krabappel](/wiki/edna_krabappel)removing the head off a[krusty the clown](/wiki/krusty_the_clown)doll revealing a blade was cut in bbc airings, though not krabappel listing barts atrocities (synthesizing a laxative from peas and carrots and replacing her birth control pills with tic-tacs) or the part where mrs. Krabappel brings in arthur and tells him to show her on the doll where bart put fireworks on him (with heavy implications that bart once stuck fireworks down arthurs trousers).- The start of
[the itchy & scratchy movie](/wiki/the_itchy_%26_scratchy_movie)trailer was cut in channel 4 airings to remove itchy blowing scratchys brains out with a flamethrower and a bazooka, and itchy gleefully ripping his brains out of his head. The rest of scratchys abuse (eye-poking, shaving from his scalp to the front of his face, scribbling on him with marker, and itchy giving scratchy bunny ears) wasnt censored. - The scene in the the itchy & scratchy movie trailer where
[itchy](/wiki/itchy)chops[scratchy](/wiki/scratchy)to pieces with an axe after impatiently waiting for scratchy to be fed through the buzzsaw was cut in channel 4 airings. It was once cut in sky showcase airings, but this was later added back in. - The itchy & scratchy movie billboard spraying blood onto a newlywed couple was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut in 2011. It was once cut in sky showcase airings, but this was later added back in. A similar scene later where the itchy and scratchy movie billboard gets changed to a billboard for the springfield barber college (and keeps in the blood spraying mechanic) was also cut on sky showcase, only to be reinstated.
- the hiccuping man repeatedly saying kill me on the
[eye on springfield](/wiki/eye_on_springfield)episode that covered the history of itchy & scratchy was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut in 2011. - The scene in the
[steamboat itchy](/wiki/steamboat_itchy)cartoon where scratchy crawls into a furnace and itchy slams his face inside was cut in sky showcase airings, but this was later added back in. Despite this, itchy shooting scratchy in the knees in the same scene wasnt cut on sky showcase. The version shown on channel 4 deleted the entire steamboat itchy cartoon, but was originally uncut in 2011. - The world war ii cartoon where itchy and scratchy attack adolf hitler was shortened to remove the duo decapitating hitler, then itchy decapitating scratchy while franklin delano roosevelt kicks hitlers and
[scratchy](/wiki/scratchy)s headless corpses while itchy holds up a sign that reads, save scrap iron on sky showcase airings, but this was later added back in. - Bart saying not bloody likely. Was cut in channel 4 airings. Bbc airings only cut the word bloody.
- despite these cuts, the bbc, channel 4, and sky showcase left in marges imagine spot of bart becoming a sleazy male stripper named bang bang bart, jasper pulling a gun on grampa simpson just as grampa is about to steal jaspers dentures, bart cooking a plastic james bond toy in the microwave, homer getting ice cream from a truck called native american ice cream (formerly big chief crazy cone), homer telling bart that the trick to getting out of jury duty is to say youre prejudiced against all races, maggie driving the family car and crashing into a nearby prison, the man falling off the drawbridge as it opens up during the long pan of people waiting in line to see the itchy and scratchy movie, lisa telling bart that michael jackson was one of the celebrity cameos in the movie, and bart offering homer to spank him (by baring his butt) instead of banning him from seeing the itchy and scratchy movie.
[marge gets a job](/wiki/marge_gets_a_job)
- the episode was pulled from airing on
[prosieben](/wiki/prosieben)austria due to jokes about nuclear radiation. - After getting in trouble with an actual viewer with tourette syndrome who wanted to sue the show for mocking the condition, the censors changed barts claim that he has tourettes to a claim that he has rabies, though the free-tv syndicated version on american tv keeps the original tourettes line and the dvd version has the rabies line, but keeps in bart barking and growling, shove it, witch! And his muttering, tourettes syndrome under his breath after krabappel leaves him in the hallway. The dvd version is also the version available on disney+ streaming and
[fxx](/wiki/fxx). In channel 4 airings, both the tourettes lines are retained, but bart barking and growling, shove it, witch! Is removed, though original channel 4 airings from 2011-2013 had the whole scene uncut. The original version where mrs. Krabappel mentions that bart faked tourette syndrome hasnt been seen since the first airing in america, though most english dubs shown in other countries do have the original line.- Despite this, lionel hutz saying that marges sexual harassment suit was all he needed to rebuild his shattered practice and offering homer and marge some whiskey at 9:30 in the morning wasnt cut, nor was groundskeeper willie fighting the wolf, the heavy implication of grampa simpson sticking an oral thermometer up barts rear end, groundskeeper willie feeding whiskey to the wolf, smithers gassing tom jones and forcing him to say hi to marge at gunpoint, mr. Burns line you dont have to sue me to get my pants off! After marge threatens him with the sexual harassment suit, bart groaning that his ovaries hurt, the crazed nuclear plant worker with a rifle declaring himself the angel of death (then going on a killing spree after marge suggests that mr. Burns play tom jones music), the doughnut delivery man hitting lenny with a length of chain and threatening the other workers with, all right. Anyone else wanna be a hero?, People watching a cock fight on one of mr. Burns cameras (despite kamp krusty” being edited to remove krusty and the kids at a cockfight in tijuana during the ending picture montage), or homer barging in to the mens bathroom after smithers finished cleaning the urinals.
[new kid on the block](/wiki/new_kid_on_the_block)
- the opening scene of homer watching the game show hunks was cut to shorten the host asking one of the male contestants which one of the female contestants said about him, he was so sexy, i hope we could have sex to just he was so sexy. And the male contestant saying that he did it with uta, candy, and shasta in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut from 2011-2013.
- marge showing ruth a vhs copy of a porno video called das butt while going over the items in the neighborhood welcome basket was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut from 2011-2013.
- homer asking ruth if they were talking about sex when ruth said that, despite being a single woman, she has all the normal appetites was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut from 2011-2013.
- the flashback of jimbo dunking barts head in the school toilet was edited in channel 4 airings to remove barts head in the toilet, as well as skinner asking jimbo if everything is okay in the stall and continuing to wait, but was originally uncut from 2011-2013.
- moe saying, you little s.O.B! After, once again, getting tricked by barts prank phone call was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut from 2011-2013.
- moe telling jimbo that he was just going to cut him was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut from 2011-2013.
- bart saying, as usual, a knife-wielding maniac has shown us the way. Was cut in channel 4 airings down to just as usual, but was originally uncut from 2011-2013.
- surprisingly, moe threatening to kill jimbo and jimbo crying in fear wasnt cut, nor was jimbos line, i dont believe it. Now my pants are chafing me. As he makes out with laura, barts imagine spot of laura pulling out his heart and kicking it into the trash, bart smoking a bubble pipe, homer taking mrs. Winfields discarded estrogen pills, barney drinking spilled beer from an ashtray (and later drinking from the tap upside-down and worrying that his heart just stopped), the flashback of young homer learning about sex ed by seeing two monkeys fighting at the zoo, and homers sex talk with bart ending with him drunkenly rambling about owing someone money (so i sez, yeah? If you want that money, come and find it, cuz i dont know where it is, ya baloney! You make me wanna retch!)
[mr. Plow](/wiki/mr._plow)
[troy mcclure](/wiki/troy_mcclure)s live, from hawaiis beautiful molokai island, were not just for lepers any more, its carnival of the stars! Was changed to live from hawaiis beautiful molokai island, its carnival of the stars! When aired on the bbc.- Despite this, the bbc didnt edit
[troy mcclure](/wiki/troy_mcclure)mentioning that one of the movies he starred in is called the erotic adventures of hercules (and selmas choice didnt edit the scenes of marge surprising homer with that movie nor did they cut the scene of homer and marge watching the part where troy mcclure as hercules laughs at a slave girl whose clothes got ripped off by the cyclops), nor did they cut angela lansbury walking on hot coals (considered dangerous, imitable behavior), homer commenting on how people abuse their bodies before chugging a jar full of pickled egg brine that moe was about to throw out, or krusty getting attacked by three siberian tigers.
- despite this, the bbc didnt edit
- channel 4 left in the lepers line on carnival of the stars, but cut homer telling the insurance agent that moes is a pornography store instead of a bar. This scene used to be uncut until it aired on christmas day 2014 during family viewing hours and has now aired edited ever since.
- channel 4 also cut homers imagine spot where, on order from george bush, sr., Homer plows through the protesters outside of the white house, but this was originally uncut between 2011 and 2013.
[lisas first word](/wiki/lisa%27s_first_word)
- the
[chalkboard gag](/wiki/chalkboard_gag)of this episode (the teacher is not a leper) was changed to i will not teach others to fly on bbc airings.- Despite this, bart trying to get maggie to say get bent wasnt cut, nor was the flashback of bart as a baby seeing homer and marge making out in the bed and then saying his first words (ay caramba!), Homer asking marge if they were going to start doing it in the morning, homer suggesting that bart sleep with him and marge until barts 21 years old (and, for continuity reasons, homers story about how, thanks to sleeping with his parents until he was 21, his cousin frank became francine, joined a cult, and now goes by mother shabubu), homer strangling baby bart after baby bart called homer domer (and when homer, marge, and bart first move into their new house just before ned and todd flanders welcome them), bart diving onto homers stomach/crotch during the montage of what bart was like as a toddler, bart swinging naked on the clothesline (for dangerous behavior reasons, not because of nudity), the scenes of the clown bed scaring bart, patty blowing cigarette smoke in baby lisas face, itchy nailing scratchys tail to the ground during the i&s cartoon 100 yard gash, krusty tickling sideshow bob as he lifts a barbell over his head and bob getting his throat crushed, bart sticking lisa in a mailbox before it cuts to bart in a corner grumbling, stupid mailman squealing on me..., Krusty using a switchblade to scratch his game card in the krusty burger commercial, and korean gymnast kim huan screaming after his perfect dismount breaks his leg.
[homers triple bypass](/wiki/homer%27s_triple_bypass)
- sky showcase (though not channel 4) darkened the scene of the news reporters outside homers hospital room asking dr. Nick where the bodies are to remove any flashing lights that could affect epileptic and photosensitive viewers.
- despite this, sky showcase, nor any other british channel, edited the cops in springfield opening theme, which included darkly comic jokes about suicide (the man on the ledge choosing to drop to his death rather than come inside with chief wiggum), police corruption (the line in the bad cops song, springfields cops are on the take/but what do you expect for the money we make?), And police brutality (the line in the bad cops song, whether in a car/or on a horse/we dont mind/using excessive force).
- originally, dr. Nicks phone number was 1-900-doctorb, but when the crew found out it was an actual phone number, it was changed in all versions (domestic, international, free-tv, cable, dvd, and streaming) to 1-600-doctorb, though the lip sync still reads, 1-900-doctorb if one where to look closely at it.
[marge vs. The monorail](/wiki/marge_vs._the_monorail)
- channel 4 edited mayor quimbys line to marge chat away. Ill just amuse myself with some pornographic playing cards to chat away. Ill just amuse myself with some playing cards. The line was originally uncut in 2013.
- despite this, the flintstones parody beginning wasnt cut to remove homer sliding through the glass window in his car or crashing into a chestnut tree, nor were there any cuts to the popcorn truck falling into a pothole during marge explaining why main street is a mess that needs to be cleaned up with the $3 million dollar surplus, lisas imagine spot of using the $3 million for vr helmets for public schools where it shows lisa watching genghis kahn and his men attacking a village (with kahn saying, hello, lisa. Im genghis kahn. Youll go where i go. Defile what i defile. Eat who i eat. Hmm?), Barts imagine spot of using the $3 million to get giant, mechanical ants to trash the school and bisect principal skinner, homer suggesting that the $3 million be spent on a giant billboard that reads, no fat chicks!, Bart sticking his head out of the monorail window and nearly hitting a pole, chief wiggum blackmailing mayor quimby by saying he has pictures of him and quimby retorting, you dont scare me. That could be anyones ass!, Krusty trying to throw himself out the monorail, only to be saved by leonard nimoy, the w anchor splitting apart conjoined twins (referred to as siamese twins, which is now an outdated term) as dr. Hibbert explains that the operation to separate them is a long and costly procedure; and the end where the popsicle stick skyscraper gets set on fire by the 50-foot magnifying glass, and random people keep falling off the escalator to nowhere.
[i love lisa](/wiki/i_love_lisa)
- channel 4 shortened the flashback of how chief wiggum got tickets to the krusty the clown 29th anniversary show to remove the establishing shot of the porno theater, chief wiggums line nothing beats a good porno movie as he comes in to sit behind krusty (though the raunchy porno music playing in the background and krusty thinking that hes about to get arrested werent cut), and wiggums line, really? I keep my pants on in this version, after lisa interrupts with, that story isnt suitable for children. In original channel 4 airings from 2012, the establishing shot of the theater and wiggums pants line were uncut, while wiggums porno movie line was still cut.
- despite this, sideshow mel being whacked out on wowie sauce (read: drunk and cursing at krusty) wasnt cut, nor was the rude messages bart writes on the candy hearts, krusty asking why the monkey on his head is called a urine monkey, the kroon along with krusty clip where krusty in the clip sings break on through to the other side a la jim morrison, the scene after that where krusty wonders what drugs was he on during that performance, principal skinners vietnam flashback of seeing his army buddy shot while writing a valentine to his girlfriend, the close-up of the krusty home pregnancy test with the warning, may cause birth defects, ralph tarring the simpsons roof and complaining that the tar fumes are making him dizzy, bart mooning the girls (i am not a butt) before his cue in the presidents day play, bart as john wilkes booth attacking milhouse as abraham lincoln (and homer yelling, come on, boy! Finish him off!), And groundskeeper willies line, i didna cry when me own father was hung for stealing a pig. But ill cry now during ralphs death scene in the play.
[duffless](/wiki/duffless)
- after diana spencers death in 1997,
[barney](/wiki/barney_gumble)s line hey, its princess di!, Then pulling up and finding out that what he thought was princess di is just a pile of rags was cut on bbc airings.
[last exit to springfield](/wiki/last_exit_to_springfield)
- mcbain breaking out of the ice sculpture and gunning down everyone at mendozas dinner party was severely edited in channel 4 airings for gun violence and to get rid of the flashing light effects that could trigger seizures in epileptic viewers. In original channel 4 airings from 2012-2019, they accidentally left in a frame of someone with a blood mark in his head. This was fixed as of 2023.
- mr. Burns father calling the japanese those sandal wearing goldfish tenders during mr. Burns flashback of what factory work was like when he was a kid was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut from 2012-2019.
- surprisingly, mcbain getting poisoned by a shrimp puff wasnt cut, nor was mendoza unveiling his new drug, swank, and saying its ten times more addictive than marijuana; the dentist scaring ralph with the big book of british smiles, homer getting hit in the back of the head by the food truck awning as he chants, wheres my burrito?, And the electricity coming back on in springfields red light district (containing names of strip clubs such as the horny toad and nudes at eleven).
[marge in chains](/wiki/marge_in_chains)
- this episode was banned on
[fxx](/wiki/fxx)and[freeform](/wiki/freeform)after march 2020 since the beginning where springfield is plagued by a japanese flu was similar to the early days of the coronavirus/covid-19 pandemic. Despite this, the episode is available for viewing on[disney+](/wiki/disney%2b)and the season four dvd set and the episode eventually returned to regular rotation. Channel 4 also skipped over this episode twice (which was scheduled to air in february 2023 and april 2024), though its unknown if its out of sensitivity to the covid-19 pandemic or a broadcasting error. - When the episode did air on channel 4, it was edited to remove apus line, no offense, mr. Homer, but were putting that bitch on ice! When homer confronts apu and sanjay about pressing charges against marge for accidentally shoplifting bourbon.
- despite the channel 4 cut, homers line about how hell miss marge for more than just sex was not cut, nor was marge leaping on homer when he visits her in the conjugal visit trailer, the rioting and looting after everyone protests against the jimmy carter statue, chief wiggum getting attacked by dogs during the riot, lionel hutzs line about judge snyder not liking him because he accidentally ran over his dog (with accidentally being a substitute for repeatedly and dog being a substitute for son), and the flashback of flanders watching a scene from married...With children where al tells peg that she should take care of the plants because theyve become lifeless and limp, and peg quipping that the plants will feel better in the bedroom.
[krusty gets kancelled](/wiki/krusty_gets_kancelled)
- the beginning with the tv show springfield squares was cut in channel 4 airings to remove the coast guard boat warning of an impending tidal wave and charlie weaver getting drowned by it after refusing to take to barry whites square (which is higher up) for shelter.
- the flashing lights during the gabbo trailer were slowed down in channel 4 and sky showcase airings.
- the gabbo crank call on krusty in channel 4 airings was missing the line, is this the call-back about that porno film? Look, i know i was nervous, but, let me assure you, im all man.... Right after this, krusty saying, me rikey veddy much! In an asian accent and apologizing for possibly offending the alleged japanese man on the other line was also cut, although this was originally uncut from 2013-2019, while all of the other cut scenes from this episode (including the porno line) were already cut by then.
- gabbo saying, i wouldnt want to offend the little s.O.B.S., And later saying that the children of springfield are all s.O.B.S was cut on channel 4 airings, though gabbos first use of s.O.Bs wasnt cut.
- kent accidentally saying that oughta hold those s.O.B.S was cut in channel 4 airings, with the edit making it look like kent got fired for criticizing gabbo.
- despite these cuts, bart smoking a bubble pipe while touring hugh hefners playboy mansion wasnt cut, nor was bette midler chasing after a motorist for littering, krusty hitting homer in the face with a pie fresh out of the oven, or krusty telling the red hot chili peppers to change a line in their song give it away (what i got/you gotta get/and put it in you being changed to what i like/is i like/to hug and kiss you).
[season 5](/wiki/season_5)
[homers barbershop quartet](/wiki/homer%27s_barbershop_quartet)
- abe sheepishly telling the crazy old jewish man that his son is the hindu guy (apu) after the crazy old jewish guy calls homer ...A balding fatass was cut.
- homer saying, far out, man. I havent seen a bong in years. After bart shows homer the pencil holder he bought at the swap meet was shortened in channel 4 airings so that he just says, far out, man., But is uncut in evening and post-watershed airings.
[nigel](/wiki/nigel_(manager))saying that a lot of women would want to have sex with[the be sharps](/wiki/the_be_sharps)and he wants them to think they can was cut in channel 4 airings, but is uncut in evening and post-watershed airings.- Despite this, bart eating the be sharps funny foam that was pulled off the market for being toxic if ingested wasnt cut, nor was marge scaring the kids with the homer dummy she made so the kids wouldnt miss homer while he was on tour, or homer getting hit in the head with his own grammy after throwing it off his hotel room balcony.
[cape feare](/wiki/cape_feare)
- the episode was banned in germany due to the
[up late with mcbain](/wiki/up_late_with_mcbain) beginning, which featured a show announcer named obergruppenfuerher wolfcastle wearing a full ss uniform and mcbain cracking a homophobic joke about scoey the band leaders outfit. The episode finally aired on[prosieben](/wiki/prosieben)in 1999 with the first scene cut. - The flashing lights in the transition from barts bedroom to
[sideshow bob](/wiki/robert_terwilliger)s prison cell were slowed in channel 4 airings. [Itchy](/wiki/itchy)plugging the laser back in, slicing[scratchy](/wiki/scratchy)to bits was cut in spacetoon airings.- Despite this, channel 4 did not cut the following: the simpsons coming back from terror lake to find that grampa has turned into a woman because he didnt take his pills, sideshow bob writing in his own blood (until he passes out and snake tells him to use a pen), the infamous line, no one who speaks german could be an evil man (which also wasnt cut on the prosieben edited version), the blue-haired lawyer asking the people at sideshow bobs parole hearing if anyone wants to kill selma now (with patty raising her hand because ...[Selma] always leaves the toilet seat up), sideshow bob getting comically crushed by the parade welcoming people to terror lake, the famous sideshow bob steps on rakes part (though american syndication on free-tv had shortened this due to how long the gag was), and lisa thinking homer has been drugged, but marges annoyed, no, he hasnt implies that he normally drools in his sleep.
[homer goes to college](/wiki/homer_goes_to_college)
- homer saying those bastards. During barts outline of the mascot kidnapping plot was cut in bbc, channel 4 and sky showcase airings.
- despite this, the end credits montage showing homers second go-around in college wasnt edited to remove homer getting spanked as part of his fraternity pledge or flashing the audience at graduation, nor was the scene of bart, with a crazy look in his eyes, sharpening two knives and telling marge to start digging some nerd holes after missing out on the itchy and scratchy episode where scratchy finally kills itchy.
[rosebud](/wiki/rosebud)
- the scene of the ramones performing at mr. Burns birthday party was edited both on canadas global channel and in the uk:
- global channel cuts id just like to say this gig sucks!, Up yours, springfield! And go to hell, you old bastard!, Making it seem as if burns was traumatized by the punk music and not the profanity and punk music, though some canadian broadcasts did manage to let the go to hell in go to hell, you old bastard slip by.
- channel 4 in the uk only edited the up yours, springfield and the ...You old bastard in go to hell, you old bastard!, While sky showcase and bbc only edited out go to hell, you old bastard! In original channel 4 airings from 2011, the up yours line was uncut, while the bastard line was still cut.
- during mr. Burnss announcement that the television and beer supply will be cut off if homer doesnt give mr. Burns back his teddy bear, pattys line, holy crap! Was cut on sky showcase airings, but this was later added back in.
- following princess dianas death in 1997, the scene of mr. Burns getting his photo taken by a paparazzo after putting maggies pacifier in his mouth was cut to remove the word paparazzo from burnss line, damn you, paparazzo! On sky showcase, because the paparazzi was implicated in causing the car crash that killed her. This line has since been reinstated.
- ten network in australia made their own edits for this episode (both of which, despite their violent content, were left in on uk airings):
- the part where mr. Burnss security guards beat everyone up after burns cancels the rest of the party following homers horrible stand-up act was cut.
- barney threatening homer with a gun after burns cuts off the beer supply and homer slamming the door on barney, causing him to shoot someone or something that makes a woman scream and causes a cop car to arrive was cut.
- despite these cuts, global, channel 4, sky showcase, and ten network did not cut homer telling mr. Burns that he wants a million dollars and three hawaiian islands. Good ones, not the leper ones, the flashback of bobo with hitler during the bombing of berlin in 1945, mr. Burns spraying knock-out gas in ned flanders face during their first botched attempt at getting bobo back, and/or mr. Burns getting attacked by professor frinks robotic bear (american free-tv syndication did cut this, but it was for time, not content).
[treehouse of horror iv](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_iv)
- the lightning flashes during the opening, the title card of the devil and homer simpson, devil flanders turning homer‘s head into a donut, during barts deathly bus nightmare, in the scene where bart first sees the gremlin, the scene where bart was taken by skinner and throughout bart simpsons dracula were slowed down in channel 4 airings due to strobe effects.
- homer ripping the i.O.U sheet while saying bastard! Was cut in bbc and sky showcase airings. On channel 4 airings during watershed hours, the word was replaced with homer screaming. Sky showcase aired this scene intact at 8pm on october 28th, 2022 with the episode pin-locked for content.
[nixon](/wiki/richard_nixon)declaring that hes not dead yet, and devil flanders stating, hey, i did a favor for you! Was cut on bbc airings because, at the time the episode first aired in the uk, richard nixon had already died. This was also cut on american free-tv syndication for time reasons, but can be seen on cable reruns.- Count burns saying oh, son of a -- after realizing hes still on speaker was cut on channel 4 airings.
- homers line, oh, i guess killing will be fun enough. After lisa orders homer not to touch the super happy fun slide lever was cut in channel 4 airings during watershed hours.
- channel 4 airings edited homer killing count burns to remove homer driving a stake into count burnss crotch multiple times (the edited version has homer driving the stake there once before lisa tells homer where hes driving the stake) and shortened count burnss agonized dying to remove emphasis on his suffering before turning to dust (though count burns coming back to life to fire homer wasnt cut).
- despite this, homers line, yeah, his haircut is so queer on bart simpsons dracula wasnt cut, nor was the end of nightmare at 5 1/2 feet where bart sees the gremlin with ned flanders decapitated head as bart is being driven to the mental hospital.
[marge on the lam](/wiki/marge_on_the_lam)
- chief wiggum telling homer to get an inflatable woman, adding that he should ...Make sure its a woman though, cause one time i--, before interrupting himself was cut in channel 4 airings, but was shown uncut in an evening airing from 2011.
- despite this, lionel hutz waking up and scaring the kids by brandishing a knife, then backing down when he realizes that hes not at the ymca wasnt cut, nor was homer nearly getting his arms cut off when hes stuck in the vending machines, the quick sight of a dismembered, skeletal arm stuck in the crystal buzz cola machine, ruth taking marge out to shoot cans off a fence, or homer kissing the solid waste pile after he and chief wiggum land on it.
[barts inner child](/wiki/bart%27s_inner_child)
- homer causing a car to flip on its side while driving to get the trampoline was cut in sky showcase, but this was later added back in.
- kent brockmans line, and this reporter thinks its about f[bleep]ing time... Was shortened in channel 4 airings to cut f[bleep]ing, but it is uncut in evening and post-watershed airings.
- a car crashing into another car while otto is working the parking lot during the do what you feel festival was cut in sky showcase airings, but this was later added back in.
- mayor quimby saying you two screwed up royal! Was edited in sky showcase airings so the word royal! Was cut (though the line wasnt a jab at the royal family), but this was later added back in.
- snake tackling a man during the riot was cut in sky showcase airings, but this was later added back in.
- despite this, the kids getting hurt on the trampoline (including otto dislocating his shoulder) wasnt cut, nor was krusty launching into a dirty limerick with there once was a man named enis..., Jimbo and kearney using the simpsons car as a trampoline after homer finally gets rid of the real one, bart riding a chair on the sink garbage disposal, kents line about the do what you feel festival being better than the do as we say festival which was started by german settlers in 1946 (implying that the event was run by former nazis), groundskeeper willies speech about killing everyone and burning the town to cinders if elected mayor, patty and selma riding naked on a horse and captain mccallister taking pictures, and mayor quimby proudly introducing his mistress during the do what you feel festival and saying he feels good about his womanizing.
[boy-scoutz n the hood](/wiki/boy-scoutz_%27n_the_hood)
- homers line, how was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees? And build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs? Huh? Was cut on sky showcase to remove the word crappy. This line has since aired uncut.
- surprisingly, the scenes of knives being used by the townspeople (moe threatening hans moleman with a knife and hans brandishing one of his own from a cane, only to fall over; jimbo and kearney using a knife to open martins box of cookies, only to rob him of them; and dr. Hibbert performing street surgery on a man with appendicitis), bart getting his neckerchief caught in the door after he runs out of the junior campers classroom, scratchy getting struck by lightning on the itchy and scratchy show episode ahhh! Wilderness!, Bart reading the 10 dos and 500 donts of knife safety book (which includes a character named donny dont about to brush his teeth with a knife, using a knife in a slingshot, and preparing to stab a sleeping house cat with a knife), and the scary/creepy scenes with ernest borgnine and his scout troop getting lost in a swamp, about to be attacked by a bear, and getting killed by an unseen predator in the woods werent edited.
[the last temptation of homer](/wiki/the_last_temptation_of_homer)
- channel 4 and bbc edited the part where a random man passes by homer and mindys booth at the energy convention and yells, thanks for poisoning the planet, bastards! By cutting bastards. Sky showcase edited the same part and also cut mindy retorting, get bent! (Though homer telling the no more chernobyls! Guy to go to hell! Wasnt cut). Later airings on sky showcase edited the same scene by muting the word bastards, but left in mindy saying, get bent! While channel 4 now airs this uncut, but only during post-watershed hours.
- despite these cuts, bbc, channel 4, and sky showcase didnt edit the part where homer tries to watch tv with marge, only to see a kent brockman news report about u.S. Presidents who have cheated on their wives (john f. Kennedy, dwight d. Eisenhower, george bush, sr., And bill clinton) called hail to the cheat, a documentary about an insect that has many partners and no feelings of shame or remorse over it, and a commercial featuring close-ups of tight and toned womens bodies in spandex exercising with sexual moaning in the background and the announcer saying, just do it, with homer running screaming out of the room (and the commercial actually being a public service announcement about checking for ringworm rather than a commercial for nike, which has just do it as its slogan), nor did they edit lenny, carl, charlie, and homer getting trapped in a room after a hazardous chemical causes a cloud of smoke, the two times the bell-hop makes sexual noises at homer (with the second time resulting in homer punching him in the eye), homer crying and telling mindy that theyre going to have sex and he doesnt want to because, even though he finds her attractive and he sometimes hates his family, he doesnt want to cheat on marge (the were going to have sex line was originally cut on sky showcase when used on the season six episode
[another simpsons clip show](/wiki/another_simpsons_clip_show)), and homer imagining mindy as the famous birth of venus painting (with lenny and carl asking homer if hes ever seen a naked chick before).
- despite these cuts, bbc, channel 4, and sky showcase didnt edit the part where homer tries to watch tv with marge, only to see a kent brockman news report about u.S. Presidents who have cheated on their wives (john f. Kennedy, dwight d. Eisenhower, george bush, sr., And bill clinton) called hail to the cheat, a documentary about an insect that has many partners and no feelings of shame or remorse over it, and a commercial featuring close-ups of tight and toned womens bodies in spandex exercising with sexual moaning in the background and the announcer saying, just do it, with homer running screaming out of the room (and the commercial actually being a public service announcement about checking for ringworm rather than a commercial for nike, which has just do it as its slogan), nor did they edit lenny, carl, charlie, and homer getting trapped in a room after a hazardous chemical causes a cloud of smoke, the two times the bell-hop makes sexual noises at homer (with the second time resulting in homer punching him in the eye), homer crying and telling mindy that theyre going to have sex and he doesnt want to because, even though he finds her attractive and he sometimes hates his family, he doesnt want to cheat on marge (the were going to have sex line was originally cut on sky showcase when used on the season six episode
[$pringfield (or, how i learned to stop worrying and love legalized gambling)](/wiki/$pringfield_(or,_how_i_learned_to_stop_worrying_and_love_legalized_gambling))
- kents report about how fort springfields closure devastated the liquor and prostitution industries (including a shot of two women in sleazy dresses standing by the side of the road hitchhiking) was cut in channel 4 airings.
- the scene of
[raymond babbitt](/wiki/raymond_babbitt)going into an autistic screaming fit and homer copying him was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut from 2011-2019. This scene was also edited on american free-tv syndication (the cable reruns have this uncut), but this was a cut for time, not content. - Krusty talking and singing about herpes during his adults only stand-up was cut in channel 4 airings.
- despite this, abe and old jewish man walking past a xxx theatre playing the films sperms of endearment and ill do anyone wasnt cut, nor was maggie nearly getting attacked by gunter and ernsts white tiger, anastasia, barney drinking cups of coins and belching them out while people collect them, gunter and ernst getting attacked by anastasia, bart telling the squeaky-voiced teen that the casinos martinis suck, homer threatening to shoot marge when she comes home from the casino (during the part where homer freaks out over the boogeyman being in their house), robert goulet hitting milhouse in the face with his microphone, and the act one break joke where the town descends into drunkenness, fireworks lighting, and sexual promiscuity after homer says the town is setting a good example for the kids by legalizing gambling.
[homer the vigilante](/wiki/homer_the_vigilante)
- abes line, im filled with piss and vinegar. At first, i was just filled with vinegar. Was cut in channel 4 airings, but is uncut in evening airings. It was also cut in sky showcase airings, but later reinstated.
- the act one end gag where marge warns homer not to use guns in the house and guns going off in everyones hands was cut on the bbc to remove sight of bart with a rifle in his hand and apologizing after a gunshot goes off. This was also cut on free-tv american syndication.
[bart gets famous](/wiki/bart_gets_famous)
- following the 2004 tsunami, channel 4 cut the two scenes involving a tidal wave in kuala lumpur (the first one where ken brockman tries to pronounce kuala lumpur, but changes it to france and the second scene where kent brockman refuses to read the news because someone took his cheese danish, and pedro/chespirito/the bumblebee man comes in, reads the tidal wave report in a serious, accentless english voice, then screams ay, carumba! In his native mexican spanish accent, and passes out), but was later added back in at some point between 2011-2013.
[homer and apu](/wiki/homer_and_apu)
- apu walking into the simpsons’s house was edited in channel 4 airings to remove the lightning flashes, though they kept in homer screaming over apu allegedly trying to strangle him, only for apu to explain that extending his arms is a gesture of apology in his native village, then realizing that its a threatening gesture and many have needlessly died.
- james woods cursing as hes talking to his agent about the role change and cleaning the microwave oven (lousy, frickin, no-good mother[bleep], [bleep], [bleep], [bleep], [bleep], [bleep] cheese!) Was cut in channel 4 airings.
- apu saving james woods from getting shot during a robbery was edited in channel 4 airings to remove the criminal firing the gun (though apu diving to block the bullet was left in) and edited apu saying oh! The searing kiss of hot lead, how ive missed you. I mean, i think im dying. Down to i think im dying., But was originally uncut in 2011.
- despite this, patty and selma revealing their voodoo doll of homer where theyve been jabbing needles into his eyes wasnt cut, nor was apu strangling homer after their failed trip to the kwik-e-mart headquarters, barney, apu, and marge trying to outrun the cranberry juice tidal wave at the monstro-mart, bart contorting his body and saying he got out of school by claiming to be mangled in a car wreck, and apu trying to commit suicide by eating a contaminated hot dog.
[lisa vs. Malibu stacy](/wiki/lisa_vs._malibu_stacy)
- the scene of jasper reading the instructions on the bottle of heart pills abe swiped from andy griffith as the ambulance with griffith in it passes by them was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut from 2011-2019.
- the part where smithers prints out information about stacy lavelles last known whereabouts was cut in channel 4 airings to remove smithers start-up screen of a naked mr. Burns saying, hello, smithers. Youre quite good at turning me on, and smithers sheepishly telling lisa to ignore that. It was originally uncut in 2011, then was cut in 2013, then was reinstated again as of 2019. The current reruns on channel 4 as of 2023 reinstate the scene of the embarrassing start-up screen on smithers computer, but still cuts the andy griffith pill bottle scene.
- despite this, grampa falling off the bike (which hes riding without a helmet or proper safety gear) and into an open grave after lisa throws the talking malibu stacy doll out the window wasnt cut, nor was the elderly crowd mobbing and strangling andry griffith with his own tie, the female tour guide flirting with (read: being playfully sexually harassed by) her boss, homer trying to sell maggie on playing with sergeant thugs secret mountaintop command post (complete with death-bringer missiles that really launch) and getting pricked, electric-shocked, and have a missile blow up in his mouth, lisa fighting the other girls over the malibu stacy dolls, stacy lavelle initially refusing to help lisa because shes too drunk, the elderly crowd falling and hurting themselves after trying to carry abe on their shoulders, and lisas friends thinking that sexist is a dirty word.
[homer loves flanders](/wiki/homer_loves_flanders)
- after homer proudly declares that ned flanders is his friend as he drives by lenny and carl, the channel 4 airings cut the part where lenny asks, what did he say? And carl says, i dunno. Something about being gay. The scene was later reinstated after audiences complained about the joke being removed and that it wasnt homophobic.
- homer saying, later sex. To marge as he heads to flanders house was cut in channel 4 airings, but is uncut in post-watershed airings, though deep space homer (the previous episode) left in the married...With children spoof where peg begs al for sex (al! Lets have sex!), Al says no, the audience mindlessly laughs at it, then goes crazy when al flushes the toilet next to the couch. Also, in original airings from 2012, marge can still be shown blinking in the spot where homer said the line, but it was changed afterwards so she doesnt blink, possibly around the same time they added back the something about being gay line.
- on channel 4 airings, neds nightmare of climbing a bell tower, assembling an assault rifle, and opening fire on innocent victims (until a mailman returns fire with his own gun) was cut down to ned climbing the bell tower and assembling the gun before waking up in horror, but is uncut in post-watershed airings. After 2012, the audio clip of ned saying, theres homer… when he loads the gun was very slightly moved forward to later in the scene.
- over in australia,
[channel 10s version](https://www.Youtube.Com/watch?V=vm0zcjjxysm)also edited the dream of ned flanders shooting people from a bell tower, but their version cut flanders assembling the assault rifle and taking the first couple shots at innocent victims, but left in the mailman returning fire with his own gun before flanders wakes up and tells maude that he thinks he hates homer simpson.
- over in australia,
- in non-english dubs of the episode (particularly the mexican spanish version), homer, after waking up from his nightmare, tells marge that he thinks he hates michael jackson instead of ted koppel, since michael jackson is/was a more world-renowned celebrity than ted koppel, whos only known in america.
- despite this, moe threatening flanders with if you tell anyone about this, the next words out of your mouth will be muffled by your own butt, after flanders recognizes moe as the guy who reads to children in the hospital wasnt cut on channel 4, nor was rod and todd fighting over the pixie stick bart gave them, flanders yelling, breathe through your damn mouth! In church after being annoyed over homer breathing through his nose, mr. Burns telling the football team to score one for the poor crippled kid in the hospital (milhouse) because he crippled him, the subsequent scene of milhouse telling his parents that mr. Burns might come back for him, and chief wiggum telling people that flanders is hepped up on goofballs.
[burns heir](/wiki/burns%27_heir)
- the flashback of mr. Burns sabotaging a greenpeace boat was cut on channel 4 airings to remove mr. Burns throwing a bong away and saying that all this time, hes been smoking harmless tobacco, but was originally uncut from 2013-2019.
- moe saying, crap! After doing his travis bickle impression and breaking the mirror with his gun was cut in sky showcase airings, but this was later added back in.
- lisas line, yeah, me too. That midget taught me a lot about his native estonia (during the end when homer explained to bart that the simpson family that said they didnt miss bart were just actors playing them) was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut from 2013-2019.
- despite these edits, the scene of mr. Burns giving bart a sports car to drive (with bart crashing through bales of hay, several animals, and a christmas village) wasnt cut, nor was the flashback of mr. Burns as a young man shooting at a homeless mans feet to make him dance, mr. Burns strangling smithers for nearly letting him drown in the tub, homer suggesting that he and marge push mr. Burns down the stairs, smithers line, sir, try to land on leonards carcass! When mr. Burns gets dropped down the trap door, a mans head exploding during the thx promo at the movies, mr. Burns rejecting lisa because shes a girl during his heir audition (and the shot of milhouse dressed as a girl saying so much for plan b for continuity reasons), mr. Burns trying to play football with bart and kicking smithers in the head before passing out from exhaustion, mayor quimby in bed with his mistress during hans molemans deprogramming at the motel, milhouses line, my parents use that old love excuse to screw me out of toys, mr. Burns lamenting that he cant father any children because of a hectic schedule and lethargic sperm, and mr. Burns showing smithers a miniature that depicts how hell be buried alive with him when he dies.
[the boy who knew too much](/wiki/the_boy_who_knew_too_much)
- bart looking at his lil bastard clock tampering kit was edited in sky showcase and channel 4 airings so that lil’ bastard was blacked out. Sky showcase has since aired that scene uncensored, while channel 4 still edits it, only instead of digitally erasing lil bastard, they just cut the short scene of bart looking at the clock-tampering kit in his desk.
- wiggum ragging on rainier wolfcastle about his latest movie (yeah! Magic ticket, my ass!) And rainier sadly telling his wife, maria, that hell be in the humvee was cut in sky showcase airings, but this was later added back in.
- sky showcase once cut barts imagine spot of principal skinner sentencing bart to life as a lunchlady to remove jimbo, jr. Saying, this creamed corn tastes like creamed crap! And future lunchlady bart saying, watch the potty mouth, honey, but this was later added back in.
[lady bouviers lover](/wiki/lady_bouvier%27s_lover)
- smithers saying, i dont know, sir, you had sex with that old woman? Was cut in sky showcase airings, but this was later added back in. In contrast, channel 4 airings shortened the line to, i dont know, sir.
- mr. Burns saying get to the bloody point! During his wedding to marges mom was edited in channel 4 and bbc airings so bloody was cut.
- surprisingly, grampa picking up a condom wrapper and mistaking it for a condo when he wistfully says hed like to live there was not cut, nor was bart repeatedly getting punched in the face while waiting for his animation cel in the mail, bart threatening mr. Burns with toy guns filled with ketchup and mustard, or lisas use of the word crappy when she sees that the animation cel only has scratchys arm drawn on it.
[secrets of a successful marriage](/wiki/secrets_of_a_successful_marriage)
- homer saying, im the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. Was edited in sky showcase airings to remove ...Putting his ass on the line., But this was later added back in.
- despite this, moe firing off his shotgun during his funk dancing for self-defense class wasnt cut, nor was reverend lovejoy telling marge that the bible has a passage that doesnt allow people to go to the bathroom.
[season 6](/wiki/season_6)
[bart of darkness](/wiki/bart_of_darkness)
- following diana spencers (princess dianas) death in 1997, two scenes were cut from sky showcase:
- rod and todd asking where maude is, ned telling her ...Shes in heaven, the kids asking ned if they can see her, and ned telling them that they will soon enough was cut,
- bart trying to call the police was edited to remove the automated dialing system asking if bart is calling in about a regicide (murder of a royal figure). Both scenes have since been reinstated.
- despite these cuts, sky showcase didnt cut the big-nosed jerk punching a busking hippie singing john denvers sunshine on my shoulders, the kids encouraging bart to jump in the pool from the top of his treehouse (before nelson pulls the your epidermis is showing joke on him and causes bart to fall and break his leg), the kids screaming and in pain after homer puts too much chlorine in the pool, homer calling maude flanders a fox, and covering it up by asking marge whats on fox tonight? Something ribald, no doubt, chief wiggum spying on homer and marge swimming naked at night, some of the more frightening/threatening elements of the scene where lisa is hiding in the attic, ned flanders follows her with an axe, and bart tries to save her; the itchy & scratchy cartoon that ends with scratchy getting sliced up by a council of big-brained itchys with telekinetic powers (though that was edited on channel 10 in australia, as mentioned below), and martin getting his swimming trunks ripped off by nelson near the end of the episode.
[channel 10 in australia](https://youtu.Be/bkn3e24sopm?Feature=shared)edited the scene in the itchy & scratchy cartoon where scratchy gets sliced to pieces by the big-brained itchys with telekinetic powers to remove scratchy getting hacked to pieces, his bloody body parts in a pile on the ground, or the axe slicing scratchys head in two. The channel 10 edit showed some of scratchy getting hacked to pieces, but immediately cut to the big-brained itchys applauding afterwards.
[lisas rival](/wiki/lisa%27s_rival)
- lisas first blackout where mr. Largo tells lisa that alison got first chair was cut in bbc airings. It was once cut in sky showcase airings, but was later added back in.
- surprisingly, the scenes of milhouse being chased down by the fbi (including the spoof of the harrison ford movie version of the fugitive where milhouse jumps down a dam and whines that he broke his glasses) werent cut, nor was bart trying to drive while homer eats pizza, lisa implying that marge should have had sex with principal skinner in order to get him to advance lisa to the next grade, and marge imagining herself as the heroine in a pirate-themed romance novel.
[another simpsons clip show](/wiki/another_simpsons_clip_show)
- the clip from the last temptation of homer where a man yells, thanks for poisoning the planet, bastards! And mindy yelling back, get bent! Was cut on bbc, channel 4 and sky showcase.
- the clip from the last temptation of homer where homer cries, were gonna have sex when he finally tells mindy about his crush on her was cut on sky showcase, though the line was left in in the original episode.
- it should be noted that sky showcase has reinstated both cut scenes, but the episode is now pin-locked for content. Also: despite these cuts, neither the bbc nor sky showcase cut homer telling marge that mindy hit the bottle really hard and lost her job at the nuclear plant (which explains why she was gone after the last temptation of homer, though later episodes, such as team homer and the twisted world of marge simpson do show mindy as a non-speaking background character, leading to fan theories that homer lied about the story, the story was a workplace rumor, or that mindy really did have a drinking problem, but became a recovering alcoholic and got her job back offscreen), the clip from new kid on the block where laura rips barts heart out of his chest and kicks it in the trash, or the clip from the way we was where artie nearly rapes marge after prom.
[itchy & scratchy land](/wiki/itchy_%26_scratchy_land)
- the close-up shot of barts lil bastard traveling kit when he goes to shoot a smoke bomb at the man in the itchy costume was cut in sky showcase and channel 4 airings, but was later added back in on sky showcase with the episode pin-locked.
- network ten in australia cut the scene of bart smashing the souvenir shop window to steal a camera during the sequence where the family get attacked by robots and discover that camera flashes are its weakness.
- despite these cuts, neither channel edits out lisa tricking homer and marge into thinking barts dead, the violence in the many itchy and scratchy cartoons featured in this episode (itchy pricking scratchy with a needle and cutting off his muscles during the commercial, the fantasia parody where itchy is chopped to dust and his dust ends up rotting scratchy from the inside when inhaled, the pinocchio parody where scratchy gets impaled in the eye after pin-itchy-o says, i promise i will never hurt you), the robots in the parade hitting each other with mallots and shooting each other, the depressed waiter at tgi-mcscratchys saying, please kill me (and the background announcement that theres a suicidal man on the roof of tgi-mcscratchys), bart mentioning ku klux klam as one of the rejected side characters that the itchy and scratchy cartoons used to have, the line in the itchy & scratchy documentary mentioning that roger meyers, sr. Created the propaganda cartoon, nazi supermen are our superiors; the birds attacking people at the bird sanctuary after marge laments that the family should have gone there on vacation, the simpsons car allegedly crashing into a pole (with the reveal that the simpsons are in a motel room watching a car that looks like theirs crash), and the flashing lights of the cameras when homer and bart try to subdue the robots.
[sideshow bob roberts](/wiki/sideshow_bob_roberts)
- mayor quimby growing a marijuana plant in his office during birch barlows radio show was cut in channel 4 airings, but was originally uncut in 2012.
[sideshow bob](/wiki/robert_terwilliger)saying there, is that what you want, you smarmy little bastards? Was cut in bbc airings. Sky showcase and channel 4 only cut the line to remove you smarmy little bastards?, But was later added back in on sky showcase with the episode pin-locked.- Despite this, homer hanging on to the wrecking ball and getting hit against his house wasnt cut, nor was jimbo wrapping milhouse in vote for quimby bumper stickers, loading him into a shopping cart, and pushing him down a hill (all right! The mummys ready for his mystical journey!); The mayor quimby campaign song mentioning that, without him, thered be no gallows (with quimby peeking through a noose and waving at the camera), and smithers saying that sideshow bobs conservative views conflicts with smithers choice of lifestyle.
[treehouse of horror v](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_v)
- the opening after the content warning cold open was edited in sky showcase airings to remove moe being hanged and his eyes flashing open, reverend lovejoy burning patty and selma (dressed as witches) at the stake and the gruesome twosome enjoying their cigarettes as they burn, and bart stamping on the decapitated heads of mrs. Krabappel, groundskeeper willie, and chief wiggum to make room for principal skinners head as the guillotine slices it off (though the couch gag where the simpsons are stitched together, a la frankensteins monster, and poorly try to put themselves back together, wasnt cut), but these were later added back in.
- on the shinning in sky showcase airings (all of these scenes were later added back in):
- mr. Burns mentioning that the mansion was the site of five john denver christmas specials (and homer shuddering at the mention of john denver) was temporarily cut following john denvers death.
- lisa asking marge if homer was going to kill them was cut.
- moe telling homer to kill his family for beer was cut.
- homer saying must kill family as he gets the axe off the wall was cut.
- also on the shinning, one of the flashing lights as marge looks around the room that homer goes crazy in was edited in channel 4 airings so that the flash is slower.
- the three times groundskeeper willie gets murdered with an axe in the back (first by homer on the shinning, later by maggie on time and punishment and finally by skinner in nightmare cafeteria) were cut in sky showcase airings, but later reinstated. On channel 4 airings, willies death in the shinning was cut, and his death in time and punishment had the shot of the axe in his back and the blood surrounding it cropped out, with his third death not being cut, but these are uncut in post-watershed airings.
- on nightmare cafeteria: the scene of a crazed, blood-soaked
[lunchlady doris](/wiki/doris_freedman)cornering bart, lisa, and millhouse with an eggbeater was shortened on channel 4 airings to be less frightening, but this is uncut in post-watershed airings.- Surprisingly, the ending where the family turns inside-out from toxic gas, followed by the spoof of one wasnt cut, nor was the blood pouring from the elevator in the shinning, the end of the shinning where the family freezes while watching tv and homers urge to kill returns when the tony awards comes on, moe showing homer the piece of brain that was taken out of his head on time and punishment, and some of the grislier and darkly comic scenes of cannibalism (such as principal skinner accidentally revealing that uter was used for the german day meal in the cafeteria, the kids being kept in cages, marge forcing bart and lisa into going to school despite the kids being murdered and eaten, skinner telling bart that hes going to eat his shorts, or mrs. Krabappel reading the joy of cooking milhouse) in nightmare cafeteria.
[barts girlfriend](/wiki/bart%27s_girlfriend)
- during the part where lisa tries to out jessica lovejoy as the one who stole the church collection money, the part where principal skinner confesses that he smelled some marijuana smoke in vietnam was cut on channel 4 after 2011.
- despite this cut, there were no edits to ralph eating the pop caps to his toy gun, the kids getting chased down and captured planet of the apes-style by their parents for church, barts line why the crap do we have to go to church?, Bart and jessica eating ice cream in front of some chubby dieters (which would be considered discriminatory bullying according to bbfc rules), bart skateboarding down the hill, falling, and getting inundated with leaking glue; jessica forcing bart to pull the fire alarm, groundskeeper willies kilt g |
| ( Read More... | 197534 bytes more | comments? | ) |
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| Channel 4 |
| Posted on Tuesday, January 21 @ 00:00:29 PST (4 reads) | |
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==== [[stark raving dad]] ==== |
==== [[stark raving dad]] ==== |
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? | * Similar to the american reruns and home media releases, this episode is now banned due to the controversy behind the leaving neverland documentary. |
+ | * similar to the american reruns and newer home media releases (the new pressings for the season three dvd and the streaming version on disney+), this episode is now banned due to the controversy behind the leaving neverland documentary. |
==== [[bart the murderer]] ==== |
==== [[bart the murderer]] ==== |
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* the flashing lights in the opening and before each of the nightmares start were slowed down. |
* the flashing lights in the opening and before each of the nightmares start were slowed down. |
||
? | * In barts nightmare (the bart zone), all mention of america being called bonerland (mrs. Krabappels line while shes going over the pop quiz answers, the quiz actually having bonerland as an answer, and dr. Marvin monroes office window saying hes from the bonerland medical association) were cut. |
+ | * in barts nightmare (the bart zone), all mention of america being called bonerland (mrs. Krabappels line while shes going over the pop quiz answers, the quiz actually having bonerland as an answer, and dr. Marvin monroes office window saying hes from the bonerland medical association) were cut/digitally removed. |
* the flashing lights as burns and smithers enter the laboratory in homers dream (if i only had a brain) were slowed down. |
* the flashing lights as burns and smithers enter the laboratory in homers dream (if i only had a brain) were slowed down. |
||
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==== [[marge gets a job]] ==== |
==== [[marge gets a job]] ==== |
||
? | * In contrast to the edited version now shown in america, the channel 4 version keeps in mrs. Krabappels line, bart, to get out of this test, you have faked smallpox, the bends, and that unfortunate bout of tourettes syndrome (instead of replacing tourettes syndrome with rabies), but bart making noises and muttering, shove it, witch! After he tells krabappel that hes not quite over it was cut. |
+ | * in contrast to the edited version now shown in america, the channel 4 version keeps in mrs. Krabappels line, bart, to get out of this test, you have faked smallpox, the bends, and that unfortunate bout of tourettes syndrome (instead of replacing tourettes syndrome with rabies), but bart making noises and muttering, shove it, witch! After he tells krabappel that hes not quite over it was cut (similar to the old, american syndicated version). |
==== [[new kid on the block]] ==== |
==== [[new kid on the block]] ==== |
||
* the scene from the game show hunks cut the line he was so sexy, i hoped we would have sex down to he was so sexy and the male contestant saying he did the deed with uta, candy, and shasta was completely cut. |
* the scene from the game show hunks cut the line he was so sexy, i hoped we would have sex down to he was so sexy and the male contestant saying he did the deed with uta, candy, and shasta was completely cut. |
||
? | * Homer asking ruth if they were talking about sex after ruth says she has normal appetites despite being a divorcee was cut. |
+ | * homer asking ruth if they were talking about sex after ruth says she has all the normal appetites despite being a divorcee was cut. |
* moe saying, you little s.O.B.! During barts amanda hugginkiss prank call was cut. |
* moe saying, you little s.O.B.! During barts amanda hugginkiss prank call was cut. |
||
* moe telling jimbo, geez, i wasnt going to kill ya. I was just going to cut ya after seeing jimbo cry on the living room floor as he pleads for his life was cut. |
* moe telling jimbo, geez, i wasnt going to kill ya. I was just going to cut ya after seeing jimbo cry on the living room floor as he pleads for his life was cut. |
||
? | * Barts line, as usual, a knife-wielding maniac has shown us the way after laura tells bart that he was right about jimbo not being a bad boy was cut. |
+ | * barts line, as usual, a knife-wielding maniac has shown us the way after laura tells bart that he was right about jimbo not being a bad boy was cut down to as usual. |
==== [[mr. Plow]] ==== |
==== [[mr. Plow]] ==== |
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==== [[bart the fink]] ==== |
==== [[bart the fink]] ==== |
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? | * Krustys pornography being sold at auction was cut. |
+ | * krustys pornography being sold at auction (and jasper buying it by mistake) was cut. |
* krustys line, tell me where you are now, you bastard! After throwing his ham radio into the ocean was cut. It was shown uncut in 2014, though that was a broadcasting mistake. |
* krustys line, tell me where you are now, you bastard! After throwing his ham radio into the ocean was cut. It was shown uncut in 2014, though that was a broadcasting mistake. |
||
====[[the day the violence died]]==== |
====[[the day the violence died]]==== |
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==== [[a milhouse divided]] ==== |
==== [[a milhouse divided]] ==== |
||
? | * Luanne dousing kirks shirts with lighter fluid and burning them, as well as her line, forget it. Shes gone. Presto change-o, kaboom! Sweet fanny adams, bye-bye! Was cut, due to dangerous behavior involving fire and lighter fluid (which almost always gets edited from tv shows and movies in the junior categories of u, pg, and 12/12a), and use of the word fanny (which is a vulgar slang term for womens genitals in uk slang, while in u.S. Slang, a fanny is a mildly rude word for someones rear end and is usually used in the term fanny pack [what the uk would call a bum pack]). |
+ | * luanne dousing kirks shirts with lighter fluid and burning them, as well as her line, forget it. Shes gone. Presto change-o, kaboom! Sweet fanny adams, bye-bye! Was cut, due to dangerous behavior involving fire and lighter fluid (which almost always gets edited from tv shows and movies in the junior categories of u, pg, and 12/12a), and use of the word fanny (which is a vulgar slang term for womens genitals in uk slang, while in u.S. Slang, a fanny is a mildly rude word for someones rear end and is usually used in the term fanny pack [what the uk would call a bum pack]). Despite this, the callback to it, where kirk asks luanne for his shirts back after failing to win her back by singing, can i borrow a feeling? Wasnt cut. |
==== [[the twisted world of marge simpson]] ==== |
==== [[the twisted world of marge simpson]] ==== |
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==== [[lisa the tree hugger]] ==== |
==== [[lisa the tree hugger]] ==== |
||
? | * Moe threatening to cut bart like a box was cut. |
+ | * moe throwing open the door and threatening to cut bart like a box during barts job as a menu boy was cut. |
* after marge says that she and homer dont have a stash, homer hesitantly saying, no, of course... Not. Was cut, as it implies a drug-related stash, though homer saying that lisa is going to narc on their stash (which is a more blatant reference to the stash being drug-related) wasnt cut. |
* after marge says that she and homer dont have a stash, homer hesitantly saying, no, of course... Not. Was cut, as it implies a drug-related stash, though homer saying that lisa is going to narc on their stash (which is a more blatant reference to the stash being drug-related) wasnt cut. |
||
* homer strangling bart after lisa thinks the two are hugging each other during dinner was shortened. |
* homer strangling bart after lisa thinks the two are hugging each other during dinner was shortened. |
||
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*bart and lisa calling each other gay for moleman (with hans moleman himself lamenting that no one is gay for him) was cut, but was later added back in. |
*bart and lisa calling each other gay for moleman (with hans moleman himself lamenting that no one is gay for him) was cut, but was later added back in. |
||
? | *Assistant principal kearney naming off the drugs he doesnt want to see at the prom was cut to remove puff, though not kearney mentioning booze, kick, doze, maxx, stim, or turb. |
+ | *assistant principal kearney naming off the drugs he doesnt want to see at the prom was cut to remove puff, though not kearney mentioning booze, kick, doze, maxx, stim, or turb and saying that stim kills. |
*principal skinner saying that stim turned superintendent chalmers into a vegetable, followed by a shot of chalmers in a spinning wheelchair only able to say skinner repeatedly was cut. |
*principal skinner saying that stim turned superintendent chalmers into a vegetable, followed by a shot of chalmers in a spinning wheelchair only able to say skinner repeatedly was cut. |
||
*bart and jenda passing by the hanged skeleton of professor frink as they explore the basement of his old house was cut. |
*bart and jenda passing by the hanged skeleton of professor frink as they explore the basement of his old house was cut. |
latest revision as of 01:07, 21 january 2025
channel 4 is a british television broadcasting channel that broadcasts episodes of the simpsons daily. Channel 4 is owned and operated by the channel four television corporation, a public body established in 1990, coming into operation in 1993. The simpsons are usually broadcast at the 6pm time slot on weekdays, and earlier on weekends. Recently, however, they have started airing episodes at 5:30pm, as well as 6pm before hollyoaks. The simpsons were previously shown on bbc 1 and bbc 2 and then saturday mornings for a very short time on cbbc.
channel 4 also usually broadcasts a simpsons ident before episodes of the simpsons.
on november 5, 2004, five idents were shown on channel 4, showing its first two airings of season 12.
since 2017, repeats of the previous weeks airings on channel 4 have been repeated on sister channel 4seven on saturdays. However, as of 2021, airings of the simpsons on 4seven are extremely infrequent, and repeats of the previous weeks airings are usually done on channel 4 instead.
when the outage that affected channel 4 happened in september 2021 (caused by an incident at red bee medias playout center), continuity announcements into the simpsons became less and less common, an issue later fixed on 22 november 2021. In addition to this, older episodes in 4:3 were being broadcast in a 16:9 pillar boxed format rather than in native 4:3,[[1]](https://www.Youtube.Com/watch?V=usknxqgdbsw) a problem later fixed on 19 november 2021 with the episode the ziff who came to dinner with raised pitch. However, the letterbox format still airs on 1+.
on 19 september 2022 (on the day of queen elizabeth iis funeral), channel 4 aired a repeat of the episode alone again, natura-diddily on sister channel 4seven, which caused a bit of outrage among some people (though the outrage wasnt as big as when channel 5 aired the reviled animated film the emoji movie).
as of 25 september 2023, channel 4 have been showing episodes at 6:30pm on weekdays after hollyoaks was moved to e4.
on 16 december 2024, it was announced that the simpsons weeknight slot was moving to e4 beginning with the terrestrial premiere of season 32 in january. The weekend morning/lunchtime slot remains on channel 4.
gallery
episode cuts
in accordance with bbfc rules, most episodes of the simpsons have been edited on channel 4 (as well as sky showcase and bbc) to remove any content considered not family-friendly, such as violence, foul language (some of which is considered offensive in the uk, but not in the shows native united states), crude sexual references, visual and verbal references to suicide, self-harm, drug abuse, and dangerous behavior; and racially insensitive content. Most of the cuts listed here are also edits done on sky showcase and bbc, while others (as seen with stark raving dad getting banned and the tourette syndrome line on marge gets a job) are edits done in america that affect most (if not all) international airings. For a full list of scenes edited internationally, click here.
also note that this is not a full and complete list of edits, as this show is still on the air and most past episodes have not been reported for having cuts.
[season 1](/wiki/season_1)
[bart the general](/wiki/bart_the_general)
- the scene of grampa typing out his complaint letter was edited to remove the word sex from his line, we [old people] are not vibrant, fun-loving, sex maniacs and horny from the list of words he doesnt want to hear on tv again, though family jewels (which is a slang term for male genitals) wasnt cut from either that scene or the scene of homer advising bart to kick nelson in his family jewels if he has to fight him.
[season 2](/wiki/season_2)
[treehouse of horror](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror)
- the flashing lights during the opening were slowed down.
- bad dream house was edited to remove (please note that all of these were edits done during watershed hours. Post-watershed, these scenes and lines are shown uncut):
- the house saying, you must kill them all. They all must die.
- lisa picking up the butcher knife after the house encourages her to get it from the kitchen (in contrast, sky showcase completely cut this scene).
- homer saying, they all must die.
- the houses disembodied voice saying, die, die, everybody die!,
- the shots of the family laughing evilly while brandishing their weapons.
- the houses morbid descriptions of the familys eyes and organs boiling and erupting from their bodies (though marge yelling at the house to stop saying those horrible things and show some manners wasnt cut).
- homer saying that marges hands shaking from anger was better than her eyes bursting.
- homer saying, wow. And bart simpson saying, bitchin! As the house implodes.
- the flashing lights before the title card of hungry are the damned were slowed down.
[itchy & scratchy & marge](/wiki/itchy_%26_scratchy_%26_marge)
- in the cartoon, kitchen kut-ups, itchy stabbing scratchy in the stomach was cut.
[the way we was](/wiki/the_way_we_was)
[jacqueline](/wiki/jacqueline_bouvier)saying whores use rouge while prepping marge for the prom was cut.
[oh brother, where art thou?](/Wiki/oh_brother,_where_art_thou%3f)
[mcbain](/wiki/mcbain)throwing senator mendoza out of a window was shortened.- During the flashback of abe meeting the carny woman before he married homers mom, abes line about the carny woman, she would do things your mother would never do, like have sex for money, was cut down to she would do things your mother would never do.
- the car ride home from the hospital was severely cut because of excessive use of the word bastard, though unlike the bbc version, channel 4 left in lisa saying, a long-lost half brother. How dickensian! And cut the rest of the scene instead of deleting the scene completely.
- homers holy moly, the bastards rich! Line was cut down to holy moly!
[barts dog gets an f](/wiki/bart%27s_dog_gets_an_f)
- marge showing lisa her sewing callus by burning her finger with a lighter was cut.
[ms. Winthrop](/wiki/emily_winthrop)s bloody twits was cut to remove bloody.- Ms. Winthrops pull the bloody chain was cut to pull the chain
- ms. Winthrops oh, you son of a bitch! During the dog graduation was cut (compare to the bbc airings, which only cuts out the word bitch).
[brush with greatness](/wiki/brush_with_greatness)
- bart saying, bitchin! As he slides down the h2-whoa! Was cut in channel 4 airings.
- marges line, hes just a little s.O.B! As shes trying to keep homer from eating whipped cream out of depression was cut in channel 4 airings.
[three men and a comic book](/wiki/three_men_and_a_comic_book)
- the flashing lights as comic book guy laughs fiendishly were slowed down.
[season 3](/wiki/season_3)
[stark raving dad](/wiki/stark_raving_dad)
- similar to the american reruns and newer home media releases (the new pressings for the season three dvd and the streaming version on disney+), this episode is now banned due to the controversy behind the leaving neverland documentary.
[bart the murderer](/wiki/bart_the_murderer)
- the end of the itchy & scratchy cartoon, the sound of silencers was cut to remove itchy gunning down a gangster cat as he spells out the end in bullets.
[like father, like clown](/wiki/like_father,_like_clown)
[krusty](/wiki/krusty_the_clown)saying ooh, sex chat. Was cut on all broadcasts, except for evening and post-watershed slots.
[treehouse of horror ii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_ii)
- the flashing lights in the opening and before each of the nightmares start were slowed down.
- in barts nightmare (the bart zone), all mention of america being called bonerland (mrs. Krabappels line while shes going over the pop quiz answers, the quiz actually having bonerland as an answer, and dr. Marvin monroes office window saying hes from the bonerland medical association) were cut/digitally removed.
- the flashing lights as burns and smithers enter the laboratory in homers dream (if i only had a brain) were slowed down.
[saturdays of thunder](/wiki/saturdays_of_thunder)
- the waiter shooting mcbains partner, scoey, in the movie was cut.
- following bill cosby being outed as a sexual predator, the scene of homer using
[bill cosbys](/wiki/bill_cosby)book to learn how to parent bart was cut. - One of nelsons cronies handing nelson a knife was cut. Contrast with sky showcase, where they also cut the knife part, but went further and cut nelson banging the cronies heads together. Channel 4 didnt edit that part.
[bart the lover](/wiki/bart_the_lover)
- the world without zinc short film was cut to remove billy using a gun to attempt suicide, only to learn that the gun doesnt work because the firing pin was made of zinc and theres no zinc in the world hes living in.
- the strobe light effects during the yo-yo assembly were cut down.
- homer mentally going through any celebrities who became famous for yo-yo tricks (which include donald trump, arnold palmer, and bill cosby) was cut to remove the mention of bill cosby, following cosby being outed as a sexual predator.
- homer almost yelling, damn it! At church after accidentally putting a $20 bill in the collection plate was cut, though the rest of the swear jar montage (homer almost swearing while bowling [a scene that used to be cut in american syndication for time and possible content reasons], homer almost swearing when flanders begins receiving checks for commercial acting, homer almost swearing when lisa points out that the doghouse has no door, and homer almost swearing when a beehive falls on him) wasnt cut.
[dog of death](/wiki/dog_of_death)
- mr. Burns asking smithers if i came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say? Was changed to if i came into your house and started slobbering all over your face, what would you say? (Though smithers reply, hmm, if you did it sir? Wasnt cut).
- the scene with mr. Burns subjecting santas little helper to brainwashing into being a vicious, soulless killer a la a clockwork orange was shortened to cut the close-up shot of santas little helper strapped to a chair getting eye drops put in his eyes, and the montage of horrible imagery was cut to remove a poodle getting hit in the nose with a newspaper and most of the scene with lyndon baines johnson holding a dog by the ears while the dog struggles.
[black widower](/wiki/black_widower)
- homer saying, if some snot-nosed little kid sent me to prison, the first thing out id find out where he lives and tear him a new bellybutton! Followed by an imitation of stabbing was cut to remove ...And tear him a new bellybutton! And the stabbing action. However, this is uncut in evening and post-watershed airings.
[the otto show](/wiki/the_otto_show)
- david st. Hubbins line, well, this is a rock concert, not the bleedin...Splish-splash show. Was edited to well, this a rock concert, not the...Splish-splash show! However, this is uncut in post-watershed airings.
- in barts imagine spot as a drugged-out british rock star, both instances of bart saying slag off! (To his manager who wants him to go onstage and to milhouse, who complains how much the excesses of rock and roll have changed him) was cut, except during post-watershed airings.
[brother, can you spare two dimes?](/Wiki/brother,_can_you_spare_two_dimes%3f)
- smithers saying that homer is shooting blanks was cut.
- mr. Burns asking smithers if homer was the one with the lazy sperm was cut.
- it should be noted that the other scenes about sperm (smithers showing mr. Burns homers sperm compared to his and the end where homers lazy sperm are also enjoying the vibrating chair that herb finally bought him) werent cut.
[season 4](/wiki/season_4)
[kamp krusty](/wiki/kamp_krusty)
- bart slapping edna on the behind during the beginning dream was cut.
- milhouse being dunked in the toilet by dolph, jimbo, and kearney during the summer break countdown was edited to remove milhouses head getting dunked in the toilet again.
- the kids watching a cock fight in mexico during the end photo montage was cut.
[a streetcar named marge](/wiki/a_streetcar_named_marge)
- bart saying, hes such a bitch! While watching the beauty pageant was cut.
- this episode was at one point banned due to the offensive
[new orleans](/wiki/new_orleans_(song)) song (after the network aired it when hurricane katrinas destruction of louisiana made the news). The episode was shown again years after hurricane katrina was old news, but the song was edited. As of january 2023, the song has been reinstated, but barts hes such a bitch! Line during the beginning where homer and the kids watch the miss usa pageant is still cut.
[homer the heretic](/wiki/homer_the_heretic)
- homer reading a playdude magazine (skipping over the lorne michaels article and reading the unabashed dictionary segment) was cut.
[treehouse of horror iii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_iii)
- lightning flashes during the opening were slowed down.
- the camera flashes throughout king homer were slowed down.
[marge gets a job](/wiki/marge_gets_a_job)
- in contrast to the edited version now shown in america, the channel 4 version keeps in mrs. Krabappels line, bart, to get out of this test, you have faked smallpox, the bends, and that unfortunate bout of tourettes syndrome (instead of replacing tourettes syndrome with rabies), but bart making noises and muttering, shove it, witch! After he tells krabappel that hes not quite over it was cut (similar to the old, american syndicated version).
[new kid on the block](/wiki/new_kid_on_the_block)
- the scene from the game show hunks cut the line he was so sexy, i hoped we would have sex down to he was so sexy and the male contestant saying he did the deed with uta, candy, and shasta was completely cut.
- homer asking ruth if they were talking about sex after ruth says she has all the normal appetites despite being a divorcee was cut.
- moe saying, you little s.O.B.! During barts amanda hugginkiss prank call was cut.
- moe telling jimbo, geez, i wasnt going to kill ya. I was just going to cut ya after seeing jimbo cry on the living room floor as he pleads for his life was cut.
- barts line, as usual, a knife-wielding maniac has shown us the way after laura tells bart that he was right about jimbo not being a bad boy was cut down to as usual.
[mr. Plow](/wiki/mr._plow)
- the insurance agent asking homer what kind of establishment moes is, and homer lying and saying its a pornography store instead of a bar was cut. It used to air uncut, until it was shown during pre-watershed hours on christmas day and has been edited ever since.
- homers imagine spot where, on order from george bush, sr., Homer plows through the protesters outside of the white house was cut.
[marge vs. The monorail](/wiki/marge_vs._the_monorail)
- mayor quimby saying that hell amuse himself with some pornographic playing cards rather than listen to marges proposal on what to do with the $3 million surplus was edited to cut the word pornographic.
[i love lisa](/wiki/i_love_lisa)
- three parts of the flashback of how chief wiggum got the tickets to krustys 29th anniversary show were cut:
- the exterior of the porno theatre;
- wiggums line, nothing beats a good porno movie. As he sits behind krusty;
- wiggums line, really? I keep my pants on in this version after lisa says that the story of how he got tickets to krustys 29th anniversary show wasnt suitable for children.
[last exit to springfield](/wiki/last_exit_to_springfield)
[mcbain](/wiki/mcbain)gunning down everyone at senator mendozas unveiling of his synthetic drug swank was cut for excessive, bloody violence and to tone down the flashing lights that could cause seizures in epileptic viewers.- Mr. Burns father calling the japanese those sandal wearing goldfish tenders during mr. Burns flashback of what factory work was like when he was a kid was cut.
[krusty gets kancelled](/wiki/krusty_gets_kancelled)
- the beginning with springfield squares was cut to remove the coast guard boat warning of an impending tidal wave and charlie weaver getting drowned by it after refusing to take to barry whites square (which is higher up) for shelter.
- the flashing lights during the gabbo trailer were slowed down.
- the gabbo crank call on krusty was missing the line, is this the call-back about that porno film? Look, i know i was nervous, but, let me assure you, im all man..., Though not krusty saying, me rikey veddy much! And apologizing for offending the alleged japanese man on the other line.
[gabbo](/wiki/gabbo)saying, i wouldnt want to offend the little s.O.B.S., And later saying that the children of springfield are all s.O.B.S and then kent accidentally saying it was cut, with the edit making it look like kent got fired for criticizing gabbo.
[season 5](/wiki/season_5)
[homers barbershop quartet](/wiki/homer%27s_barbershop_quartet)
- homer saying, far out, man. I havent seen a bong in years. After bart shows homer the pencil holder he bought at the swap meet was shortened so that he just says, far out, man..
[nigel](/wiki/nigel_(manager))saying that a lot of women would want to have sex with[the be sharps](/wiki/the_be_sharps)and he wants them to think they can was cut, but is uncut in evening airings.
[cape feare](/wiki/cape_feare)
- the flashing lights in the transition from barts bedroom to
[bobs](/wiki/robert_terwilliger)prison cell are slowed down.
[homer goes to college](/wiki/homer_goes_to_college)
- homer saying those bastards. During barts outline of the mascot kidnapping plot was cut.
[rosebud](/wiki/rosebud)
- the ramones performance at mr. Burns birthday party was cut to remove johnny saying, hey, up yours, springfield! And cj ending the song with go to hell, you old bastard! Was edited down to go to hell. Contrast with canadas global channel, which cut out all the profane language and made it look like mr. Burns was scared of the ramones punk music.
[treehouse of horror iv](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_iv)
- the lightning flashes during the opening, the title card of the devil and homer simpson, devil flanders turning homer‘s head into a donut, during barts deathly bus nightmare, in the scene where bart first sees the gremlin, the scene where bart was taken by skinner and throughout bart simpsons dracula were slowed down due to strobe effects.
- homer saying bastard! Hes always one step ahead! In the devil and homer simpson was replaced with homer screaming.
- in addition to slowing down the flashing light effects, bart simpsons dracula was also edited to remove:
- count burns saying oh, son of a -- after realizing hes still on speaker.
- homers line, oh, i guess killing will be fun enough. After lisa orders homer not to touch the super happy fun slide lever.
- homer driving a stake into count burnss crotch multiple times and emphasis on count burns suffering as he dies.
it should be noted that, with the exception of the strobe light effects, the edits only apply when the episode airs during watershed hours. Post-watershed airings reinstate the cut and altered scenes.
[marge on the lam](/wiki/marge_on_the_lam)
- chief wiggum telling homer to get an inflatable woman, adding that he should ...Make sure its a woman, because, one time i-- before trailing off and offering homer a ride home was cut.
[barts inner child](/wiki/bart%27s_inner_child)
- kent brockmans line, and this reporter thinks its about f[bleep]ing time... Was shortened to cut f[bleep]ing, but it is uncut in evening airings.
[the last temptation of homer](/wiki/the_last_temptation_of_homer)
- a man saying thanks for poisoning the planet, bastards! When he passes by homer and mindys booth at the energy convention was changed to thanks for poisoning the planet!. However, this is uncut in post-watershed airings.
[$pringfield (or, how i learned to stop worrying and love legalized gambling)](/wiki/$pringfield_(or,_how_i_learned_to_stop_worrying_and_love_legalized_gambling))
- kents report about how fort springfields closure devastated the liquor and prostitution industries (including a shot of two women in sleazy dresses standing by the side of the road hitchhiking) was cut.
[raymond babbitt](/wiki/raymond_babbitt)going into an autistic screaming fit at the blackjack table and homer copying him was cut.- Krusty talking and singing about herpes during his adults only stand-up was cut.
[homer the vigilante](/wiki/homer_the_vigilante)
- abes line, im filled with piss and vinegar. At first, i was just filled with vinegar. Was cut, but is uncut in evening airings.
[bart gets famous](/wiki/bart_gets_famous)
- following the 2004 tsunami, channel 4 cut the two scenes involving a tidal wave in kuala lumpur (the first one where ken brockman tries to pronounce kuala lumpur, but changes it to france and the second scene where kent brockman refuses to read the news because someone took his cheese danish, and
[the bumblebee man](/wiki/pedro_chespirito)comes in, reads the tidal wave report in a serious, accentless english voice, then screams ay, carumba! In his native mexican spanish accent, and passes out) but was later added back in.
[homer and apu](/wiki/homer_and_apu)
- apu walking into the simpsons’s house was edited to remove the lightning flashes (due to concerns over causing seizures in epileptic viewers), though they kept in homer screaming over apu allegedly trying to strangle him, only for apu to explain that extending his arms is a gesture of apology in his native village, then realizing that its a threatening gesture and many have needlessly died.
- james woods cursing as hes talking to his agent about the role change and cleaning the microwave oven (lousy, frickin, no-good mother[bleep], [bleep], [bleep], [bleep], [bleep], [bleep] cheese!) Was cut.
- apu saving james woods from getting shot during a robbery was edited to remove the criminal firing the gun (though apu diving to block the bullet was left in) and apus line, oh! The searing kiss of hot lead, how ive missed you. I mean, i think im dying. Was changed to i think im dying.
[lisa vs. Malibu stacy](/wiki/lisa_vs._malibu_stacy)
- jasper reading the instructions on the bottle of heart pills abe swiped from andy griffith as the ambulance with griffith in it passes by them was cut.
- smithers printing out information about stacy lavelles last known whereabouts was cut to remove smithers start-up screen of a naked mr. Burns saying, hello, smithers. Youre quite good at turning me on, and smithers sheepishly telling lisa to ignore that (this scene has since been reinstated, while the heart pill scene is still cut).
[homer loves flanders](/wiki/homer_loves_flanders)
- after homer proudly declares that ned flanders is his friend as he drives by lenny and carl, the part where lenny asks, what did he say? And carl says, i dunno. Something about being gay was cut. The scene was later reinstated after audiences complained about the joke being removed.
- homer saying, later sex. To marge as he heads to flanders house was cut.
- neds nightmare of climbing a bell tower, assembling an assault rifle, and opening fire on innocent victims (until a mailman returns fire with his own gun) was cut down to ned climbing the bell tower and assembling the gun before waking up in horror and telling his wife he hates homer simpson.
[burns heir](/wiki/burns%27_heir)
- the flashback of mr. Burns sabotaging a greenpeace boat was cut to remove mr. Burns throwing a bong away and saying that all this time, hes been smoking harmless tobacco.
- lisas line, yeah, me too. That midget taught me a lot about his native estonia (during the end when homer explained to bart that the simpson family that said they didnt miss bart were just actors playing them) was cut.
[the boy who knew too much](/wiki/the_boy_who_knew_too_much)
- bart looking at the
[‘lil bastard’ clock tampering kit](/wiki/li%27l_bastard)was initially edited to digitally remove the lil bastard part, but now has the entire shot cut.
[lady bouviers lover](/wiki/lady_bouvier%27s_lover)
- smithers saying, i dont know, sir, you had sex with that old woman? Was shortened to, i dont know, sir.
- mr. Burns saying get to the bloody point! During his wedding to marges mom was edited to remove bloody.
[season 6](/wiki/season_6)
[treehouse of horror v](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_v)
- willie getting killed with an axe in the back in the shinning was cut. His next axe death in time and punishment had the shot of the axe in his back and the blood surrounding it cropped out. His third axe death in nightmare cafeteria wasnt cut. Contrast with sky showcase, which completely cut all three times groundskeeper willie is axed in the back.
- a crazed, blood-soaked
[lunchlady doris](/wiki/doris_freedman)cornering bart, lisa, and millhouse with an eggbeater on nightmare cafeteria was shortened to be less horrifying.
[homer badman](/wiki/homer_badman)
in contrast to sky showcase rarely airing the episode due to its heavy themes of sexual harassment, regular harassment (with the media going after homer for allegedly molesting ashley grant), and depicting illegal voyeurism in a favorable light (groundskeeper willie videotaping couples in cars and one of the videos being proof that homer didnt grab ashleys butt as she left the car), channel 4 did air this, but cut the following scenes (none of which were the ones sky showcase cut on the rare times that network aired this episode):
- the part where homer slips as he gets out of the shower and the news helicopter gets a picture of an unconscious homer with the shower curtain draped over him: the news anchors line, simpson scandal update: homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tank, which he believes gives him sexual powers was strangely cut to remove sexual.
- rock bottoms story before homers interview (the one about a sex farm for sex hookers, with the farmer claiming that he just grows sorghum, until he lets it slip that the hookers are in the back of the barn) cut off after the farmers line, i keep tellin ya. I just grow sorghum here.
- the rock bottom presenters line ...Until the night a grossly overweight pervert named homer simpson gave her [ashley grant] a crash course in depravity was changed to ...Until the night a grossly overweight homer simpson gave her a crash course in depravity.
- in homer s: portrait of an ass-grabber, dennis franz homer running down the cat was left in on channel 4, but dennis franz homer threatening to grab ashleys butt was cut, while ashley saying, no, mr. Simpson, thats sexual harassment! Was changed to no, mr. Simpson, thats harassment (though the rest of the line of ashley threatening to scream so loud, the whole country will hear her and dennis franz homer scoffing at the idea because the president of the united states is a man wasnt cut on either channel).
- groundskeeper willies line about not coming forward with evidence that homer is innocent because his hobby of secretly videotaping people makes him out to be a pervert in american society was cut.
- similar to sky showcase, the video footage of mayor quimby making out with a woman in his limo before going to the footage of homer picking the gummi venus off ashleys pants as proof that homer didnt touch her inappropriately was cut.
- the rock bottom presenter referring to groundskeeper willie as ...A foreigner who takes perverted videos of you when you least suspect it. Was changed to ...A foreigner who takes videos of you when you least suspect it, though his nickname rowdy roddy peeper wasnt cut.
[grampa vs. Sexual inadequacy](/wiki/grampa_vs._sexual_inadequacy)
- troy mcclures line, theres more than one way to get high, baby after his partner wonders where their marijuana stash is if they have the sack full of diamonds in the film
[goodtime slim, uncle doobie, and the great frisco freak-out](/wiki/good-time_slim,_uncle_doobie,_and_the_great_%22frisco_freak-out%22) was cut. - Homers line but i promise you, the second all those things go away, well have sex. Was edited so that well have sex. Was cut.
- abe saying unsatisfying sex life. Was changed to unsatisfying love life.
- homer telling abe to not to say the word sex and abe repeatedly saying it was cut.
[a star is burns](/wiki/a_star_is_burns)
- the scene in mcbain: lets get silly of mcbain doing his
[woody allen](/wiki/woody_allen)impression (which is him saying in his actual voice, im a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls) and throwing a grenade at the audience after a random audience member heckles him was cut, though not mcbain opening fire on the audience after getting heckled for his unfunny toilet seat joke (do you ever notice how men leave the toilet seat up? Thats the joke.)
[season 7](/wiki/season_7)
[treehouse of horror vi](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_vi)
- the couch gag with the family hanging from nooses was cut. It was also cut when it was reused as part of the couch gag on the episode at long last leave where all the couch gags from the past 499 episodes are shown.
[mother simpson](/wiki/mother_simpson)
- the part where grampa yells at mona for abandoning him and homer in her youth was cut to remove grampas pathetic plea to have sex with mona and mona rejecting him.
[sideshow bobs last gleaming](/wiki/sideshow_bob%27s_last_gleaming)
- the
[20th century fox television](/wiki/20th_century_fox_television)logo appearing before the end credits (as part of the call-back to the tv scene bob was watching) was cut.
[the simpsons 138th episode spectacular](/wiki/the_simpsons_138th_episode_spectacular)
- the deleted scene from
[krusty gets kancelled](/wiki/krusty_gets_kancelled), with krusty promoting his book featuring him in a variety of sexually explicit positions and getting arrested by the fbi for selling pornography to minors was cut.
[bart the fink](/wiki/bart_the_fink)
- krustys pornography being sold at auction (and jasper buying it by mistake) was cut.
- krustys line, tell me where you are now, you bastard! After throwing his ham radio into the ocean was cut. It was shown uncut in 2014, though that was a broadcasting mistake.
[the day the violence died](/wiki/the_day_the_violence_died)
- chester lampwicks short film showing that he created itchy was cut to remove itchy running afoul of an irishman and putting him through an old laundry mangle, and itchy decapitating teddy roosevelt.
[homerpalooza](/wiki/homerpalooza)
- the tech guy saying, hes gonna be pissed off. And peter frampton replying, youre damn right im gonna be pissed off. I bought that pig at pink floyds yard sale! Was cut. Sky showcase cut the same part, but left in peter framptons line about buying the pig balloon at pink floyds yard sale.
- the exterior shot of the suicide notes music store was cut.
- the
[hullabalooza](/wiki/hullabalooza)organizer saying that somebody ordered the[london symphony orchestra](/wiki/london_symphony_orchestra)possibly while high (and suspects that the members of cypress hill did it) was cut.
[season 8](/wiki/season_8)
[the homer they fall](/wiki/the_homer_they_fall)
- homer getting beaten up by dolphs, jimbos, and kearneys fathers was shortened, and moes line, if youre gonna beat up my friend in my bar, theres a two drink minimum as hes threatening the trio with a rifle in the same scene was cut.
- barney drinking a canister of varnish after commenting that boxing causes brain damage was cut.
- homer asking moe why theres barbed wire on his boxing glove and moe saying that it was a technique thats not used anymore was cut.
- the promo for homer and drederick tatums fight was edited to remove drederick tatums fist shattering homers head.
- abe saying homers gonna die on his feet during his fight with tatum was cut.
[burns, baby burns](/wiki/burns,_baby_burns)
- the computer simulation of homer bursting through the theater doors and getting gunned down (which marge and the kids initially think is real) was cut.
[a milhouse divided](/wiki/a_milhouse_divided)
- luanne dousing kirks shirts with lighter fluid and burning them, as well as her line, forget it. Shes gone. Presto change-o, kaboom! Sweet fanny adams, bye-bye! Was cut, due to dangerous behavior involving fire and lighter fluid (which almost always gets edited from tv shows and movies in the junior categories of u, pg, and 12/12a), and use of the word fanny (which is a vulgar slang term for womens genitals in uk slang, while in u.S. Slang, a fanny is a mildly rude word for someones rear end and is usually used in the term fanny pack [what the uk would call a bum pack]). Despite this, the callback to it, where kirk asks luanne for his shirts back after failing to win her back by singing, can i borrow a feeling? Wasnt cut.
[the twisted world of marge simpson](/wiki/the_twisted_world_of_marge_simpson)
- maude referring to the yakuza as the poisoned fists of the pacific rim was cut.
- agnes line about the yakuza killing their victims five times before they hit the ground was cut.
- the yakuza vs. Italian mafia fight was shortened to remove scenes of garroting, flying kicks to the face, and use of ninja weapons (nunchaku [nunchucks] and shiruken [japanese throwing stars]).
[simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)cious](/wiki/simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed_grunt)cious)
- the itchy & scratchy cartoon with quentin tarantino was shortened to remove tarantino getting decapitated and itchy and scratchy dancing to miserlou.
[the itchy & scratchy & poochie show](/wiki/the_itchy_%26_scratchy_%26_poochie_show)
[june](/wiki/june_bellamy)saying cheap bastards. After telling homer that her meep that was used for the road runner was doubled on the track, but she didnt get paid twice for its use was cut.
[homer vs. The eighteenth amendment](/wiki/homer_vs._the_eighteenth_amendment)
- chief wiggums line ladies, please. All our founding fathers, astronauts, and world series heroes have been either drunk or on cocaine was cut to remove ...Or on cocaine.
- fat tonys line okay, you win. Well stick to smuggling heroin was cut. Barneys reply was cut for continuity reasons.
[the canine mutiny](/wiki/the_canine_mutiny)
- the bag of weed falling out of the blind mans pocket after laddie sniffs at his pants was cut (though not the blind man saying he needs his marijuana for medicinal reasons or the ending that heavily implies that the springfield police are getting high with the blind man).
[season 9](/wiki/season_9)
[the city of new york vs. Homer simpson](/wiki/the_city_of_new_york_vs._homer_simpson)
[marge](/wiki/marge_simpson)s line, oh homer. Of course youll have a bad impression of new york if you only focus on the pimps and the chuds is shortened to oh, homer. Of course youll have a bad impression of new york (though the flashback of homer walking by two porno theaters and getting robbed, having his hot dog taken from him by a pigeon, having garbage dumped on him by a young woody allen, and running afoul of a pimp who chases homer into an open manhole wasnt cut).- The three guys arguing between towers one and two of the world trade center was cut.
- homers big sigh of relief after finally reaching the bathroom at the second tower of the world trade center was cut.
[the principal and the pauper](/wiki/the_principal_and_the_pauper)
- skinner/tamzarian saying, up yours, children! As he drives off on his motorcycle was cut.
- the scene of principal skinner/armin tamzarian hawking a strip club on the street (and failing due to his wooden delivery) was cut.
[treehouse of horror viii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_viii)
- the beginning with fox censor the fox censor editing the episodes script was cut to remove the following:
- fox censor muttering, i think we can do without the crack pipe as hes censoring pages was cut.
- fox censor telling viewers that there will be no raunchy nbc-style sex was cut to remove the word raunchy, though there were no cuts to the line after that about the episode not having any senseless cbs-style violence.
- fox censor yelling, what the fudge?! As hes being stabbed by the tv rating was cut down to what the --, though the excessive stabbing itself (and the content rating going up with every stab) wasnt edited.
[the cartridge family](/wiki/the_cartridge_family)
- the pov shot of homer pointing his new gun in marges face was cut.
- bart pointing the gun at millhouses mouth while playing william tell was cut.
- a hooker at the sleep-eazy motel asking bart if he was looking for a good time, bart answering yes, and marge taking him away and explaining to the hooker that he wasnt serious when he said that was cut.
- marge deciding to keep homers gun after realizing it makes her look cool in the trash can reflection was edited to make it look like marge threw the gun away off-screen, leaving no explanation for marges femme fatale walk out of the motel.
[bart star](/wiki/bart_star)
- bart playing the video game cat fight was edited to remove the words slut and skank, but left in the scratching (ill scratch you!) And hair-pulling (the hair! The hair!). Contrast with sky showcases version, where the hair-pulling and use of the word slut were cut.
[the two mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons](/wiki/the_two_mrs._nahasapeemapetilons)
- a worker putting up a sign reading, today: bachelor auction; tomorrow: i retire, ya bastards! And falling off the ladder was digitally edited to remove ya bastards!
- the scene of bart and lisa asking if the bindi on apus mothers head changes colors like a mood ring or if its a third eye that can see into the future was cut.
- homer dressing up as ganesh and crashing apus wedding, only to be chased by a big, burly indian man, was cut.
[the joy of sect](/wiki/the_joy_of_sect)
- apu complimenting the airport snack counter clerk with look at the outrageous mark-up. You magnificent bastard, i salute you. Was edited to look at the outrageous mark-up. I salute you!
- the scene of bart about to use the lil bastard general mischief kit on the movementarians and being brought back in by a movementarian member using the lil bastard brainwashing kit was cut.
[simpson tide](/wiki/simpson_tide)
- the rocky and bullwinkle couch gag was edited to remove the flashing light effects when the simpsons run to the couch and the ground gives way, causing all of them to fall. This edit was also done when the episode aired on sky showcase and bbc.
- abes line my homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star! Was cut to remove ...But he is not a porn star!. This edited was not done when sky showcase and bbc aired this episode.
[trash of the titans](/wiki/trash_of_the_titans)
- raphael telling homer (after he declares hes running for sanitation commissioner) that the line hes in is for people who have to register as sex offenders (followed by a pan to moe, who comes in and complains about the long line) was cut to remove the line ...But this is where you have to register as a sex offender.
- adam muttering wankers. Followed by him whistling nonchalantly when the other members of u2 look back at him was cut.
- ray patterson telling the audience that homer spread a rumor about him luring children into his gingerbread house was cut.
- the scene during the garbage man song where krusty is throwing out his used-up porno and the garbage men pick it up was cut.
- everyone in the family thinking that homer got the money by dealing drugs was cut, though lisa saying i wish it were drugs after seeing the garbage being shoved underground wasnt cut.
- ray pattersons ending line youre screwed. Good-bye. Was cut, though mayor quimbys line, we are far from screwed! Wasnt cut.
- the post-credits scene where mr. Burns is on the same plane as u2 and mr. Burns says, ow! Wankers after getting hit with a spoon had the line edited down to ow! Followed by the in memoriam screen for linda mccartney.
[natural born kissers](/wiki/natural_born_kissers)
- marge and homer struggling to have sex under their blanket was cut.
- the scene at the springfield nuclear power plant is severely shortened: homers line, nah itll just be awkward what with the sex and all. Is shortened to nah, itll just be awkward; carls line, i always thought that marge would be a dynamo in the sack, you know. Is shortened to i always thought that marge would be a dynamo.; And marges line oh, knock it off you perverts. Is shortened to oh, knock it off.
- marges line you know, the fear of getting caught is kind of a turn-on. And homers reply, theres that dirty girl i married. Were cut.
- the sequence of the people at the mini-golf course are trying to figure out whats inside the windmill and how to get it out shortened moes line who cares what it is. Lets monoxide it! To who cares what it is and cut the part showing moe holding a long hose attached to the exhaust pipe of a beat-up car and sliding it into the windmill to suffocate homer and marge. The edited version goes from moes line who cares what it is. To homer knocking the windmill over and he and marge escaping.
[season 10](/wiki/season_10)
[the wizard of evergreen terrace](/wiki/the_wizard_of_evergreen_terrace)
- marges line homer, youve got it set on whore! After getting shot in the face with the make-up gun was cut, though homer actually shooting marge in the face with the make-up gun wasnt cut, or lisa telling homer that women dont want to be shot in the face and homers reply, women will like what i tell them to like.
[treehouse of horror ix](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_ix)
- on hell toupee:
- moes line, hey, apu, you got a breakfast cereal for people with syphilis? Was edited to remove ...For people with syphilis? Though not moe actually eating the cereal (penicilli-os) in a later scene.
- snake getting electrocuted during the televised execution was shortened to remove snake writhing in pain and muttering, dude! As his last words when the electrocution is over.
- on starship poopers:
- kang showing marge the different places humans have sex -- the back seat of a camaro, an airplane bathroom, a best friends wedding, and the alley behind a porno theater -- was cut so that way the last location was just described as an alley behind a theater (though the doorway with the xxxs above it wasnt censored).
- jerry springer screaming, son of a (bleep)! As maggie attacks him was cut, though the bleeped out language when homer first beats up kang and marges im so [bleep] embarrassed as kang, homer, and maggie are attacking jerry springer wasnt altered.
[doh-in in the wind](/wiki/d%27oh-in%27_in_the_wind)
- homers line, come on, maude. The human wang is a beautiful thing. Was cut, though not homer actually sitting on the couch naked outside and maude screaming and saying her eyes have been soiled by the sight of his nudity.
- willie scraping his face with a rake while high on the peyote juice was cut.
- wiggums line, its nothing but carrots and peyote! After tasting the juice, eddie replying, damn long-hairs never learn, hey, chief? And wiggum declaring that its time for a good, old-fashioned hippie ass-whomping! Was cut.
[homer simpson in: kidney trouble](/wiki/homer_simpson_in:_%22kidney_trouble%22)
- all references to the western town being run by prostitutes were cut, including the line containing words like whorehouse, cathouse and brothel, though the actual words written on the guides werent cut, and the gunfight scene was only edited to remove the prostitution references rather than the excessive violence.
[viva ned flanders](/wiki/viva_ned_flanders)
- ned trying to hang himself after realizing he drunkenly married ginger the barmaid was cut.
- similar to the american version, homers line about barneys birthday being on the same day as adolf hitlers (april 20th) is changed to barneys birthday being on the same day as the first dog to play lassie (july 15th).
[homer to the max](/wiki/homer_to_the_max)
- homer saying, and it doesnt stop in the bedroom, oh no. Im taking charge! Was cut, though homers line about how sex with max power means you strap yourself in and feel the gs (and homers accompanying pelvic thrusting) wasnt cut.
- bill clinton telling marge that hes done it with pigs (though whether clinton meant the actual animal or the slang term for a fat and/or ugly woman isnt made clear) was cut.
[im with cupid](/wiki/i%27m_with_cupid)
- apus line, but this is the peak hour for stoned teenagers buying shiny things was changed to but this is the peak hour for teenagers buying shiny things, though jimbo marveling at his reflection in the aluminum foil (implying that he is stoned) wasnt cut.
- sideshow mels line, my barbara will no longer pleasure me with the french arts! During the scene of the men grousing over apu lavishing his wife with gifts was cut.
- apus line to elton john, well, well, the bitch is back! Was cut, but is uncut in evening airings.
[marge simpson in: screaming yellow honkers](/wiki/marge_simpson_in:_%22screaming_yellow_honkers%22)
- homer saying, screw you guys! As lenny and carl make fun of homer for driving the f-series canyonero was cut during watershed hours (post-watershed has the line uncut).
[make room for lisa](/wiki/make_room_for_lisa)
- homer saying, screw that touchy-queery crap! Was cut in channel 4 airings, but only during watershed hours.
- repo man #2 saying, ah, screw it! I have health insurance. As hes carrying homers sensory deprivation tank out was cut during watershed hours down to, ah, i have health insurance.
[simpsons bible stories](/wiki/simpsons_bible_stories)
- adam (homer) telling eve (marge), i love you more than the butterscotch pond or the porno bush was edited to i love you more than the butterscotch pond.
- milhouse saying screw this! Im converting! In the moses spoof was cut down to im converting!
[mom and pop art](/wiki/mom_and_pop_art)
- cecils line, if we hurry, we can still catch the heroin craze. Was cut,
[the old man and the c student](/wiki/the_old_man_and_the_%22c%22_student)
- selmas line, mmm, that glue really gives it a pop. After smoking the cigarettes they used for ciggy the mascot was cut.
[monty cant buy me love](/wiki/monty_can%27t_buy_me_love)
- jerry rudes line, thank you, knick-knack and paddy-whack, the siamese midgets. Well be sure to catch your new series on fox. Was edited down to thank you, knick-knack and paddy-whack. Well be sure to catch your new series on fox.
- jerry rude asking mr. Burns how long his wiener is was cut.
- jerry rude coughing the word queer twice after mr. Burns innuendo-laden picnic story was cut.
- the scene where everyone takes flash photographs of the loch ness monster was edited to slow down or darken the flashing lights.
[they saved lisas brain](/wiki/they_saved_lisa%27s_brain)
- homer saying, are you sure youre a fully accredited and bonded pornographer? Was edited to are you sure youre fully accredited and bonded?
- marges comment about the background in homers boudoir pictures looking like the set of a high-class porno film, and homer telling her its actually the basement of their house, was cut.
[thirty minutes over tokyo](/wiki/thirty_minutes_over_tokyo)
- lisa trying to tell homer that the internet is more than just a global pornography ring cuts her line off after global.
- groundskeeper willie going on an upskirt (or upkilt) website and thinking the upkilt shot of himself is a woman (until he recognizes it as him) was cut.
[season 11](/wiki/season_11)
[beyond blunderdome](/wiki/beyond_blunderdome)
- the scene in the mr. Smith goes to washington film where mel gibson grabs the decapitated head of the president was cut.
[brothers little helper](/wiki/brother%27s_little_helper)
- bart laughing at skinner saying retardant was cut, though not bart laughing at hose lengthener or king-size flamer.
- the scene in showgirls where nomi yells, screw you! Screw everybody! (After marty [the red-haired man] tells her that shes throwing away her talent by becoming a showgirl) and the stage manager tells the girls to take their tops off was cut.
[guess whos coming to criticize dinner?](/Wiki/guess_who%27s_coming_to_criticize_dinner%3f)
- homer suggesting that lisa finish the newspaper article with screw flanders was cut (though not the lifeways editor saying that repeatedly typing screw flanders was one of the many mistakes homer made while writing his first food review).
[treehouse of horror x](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_x)
- the lightning flashes as the simpsons see i know what you diddly-iddly-id all over the walls were slowed down.
- homer saying, well, those ivory-tower eggheads have screwed us again on lifes a glitch, then you die was cut.
[e-i-e-i-doh](/wiki/e-i-e-i-d%27oh)
- homer saying, screw it. Was cut.
[hello gutter, hello fadder](/wiki/hello_gutter,_hello_fadder)
- mrs. Krabappel mentioning crack and angel dust as popular drugs for bowlers during her introduction to homer bowling a perfect game was cut, though the reference to steroids and narcotics being popular drugs for bowlers wasnt cut.
- homer attempting suicide by jumping off the springfield building, only to be saved by otto bungee jumping, was cut, going from homer sadly singing this is the end after watching the news report about how homer being famous for bowling a perfect game is starting to get old to ron howard pulling up in his convertible with his kids in the back seat (which inspires homer to be known for being a good father).
[eight misbehavin](/wiki/eight_misbehavin%27)
- apu calling manjula my little curry face and chutney butt was cut.
[take my wife, sleaze](/wiki/take_my_wife,_sleaze)
- the shot of marge on the cover of a biker magazine was cropped to remove marge being called this months cycle slut!
- marge telling the bikers to not to call your employer a skank when shes teaching them how to be presentable when being interviewed for a job was cut.
[grift of the magi](/wiki/grift_of_the_magi)
- barts line to lisa, no, but if youre going to throw a spaz, ill come with is cut down to no, but ill come with.
[funzo](/wiki/funzo)strangling a krusty doll and dancing with the decapitated heads of the krusty and[malibu stacy](/wiki/malibu_stacy)dolls were cut.- The scene during the epilogue showing moes head in his gas oven with the words no funeral on his back (with moe taking his head out of the oven and using it to cook christmas goose for the simpsons after having a near-death experience where he sees what life would be like if he were never born) was cut.
[faith off](/wiki/faith_off)
[benjamin](/wiki/benjamin_(nerd))talking about the program he invented that downloads porn off the internet one million times faster (with marge being disgusted over it and homer drooling over it) was cut.- The cameramen trying to look at people having sex in the library (only for the footage to be scrambled) was cut.
- the half-time show was cut to remove:
- the parade float showing sir oinks-a-lot getting hanged while two people sing ive had the half-time of my life.
- homers parade float celebrating fraternity hazing (with a frat brother choking an underwear-clad pledge with a dog leash and spanking him with a paddle).
[the mansion family](/wiki/the_mansion_family)
- cornelius chapman guiding people to jump out of windows, and moe realizing that throwing oneself out the window is a great way to commit suicide, was cut.
- cornelius taking a bullet for huey long was replaced with kent brockman making a speech at the springfield pride awards, though the sound can still be heard.
- marge mispronouncing bill cosbys name as bill crosby during her lecture to bart about cigars only being for famous comedians was cut, following bill cosby being outed as a sexual predator.
- lenny attempting to use rubbing alcohol as a substitute for drinking alcohol (and getting whipped for tricking moe) was cut.
- homers line, look at those poor saps back on land with their laws and ethics. Theyll never know the simple joys of a monkey knife fight was edited on channel 4 to look at those poor saps back on land with their laws and ethics. Theyll never know the simple joys of a monkey fight. The actual monkey knife fight was also cut to remove the monkeys brandishing knives as they circle each other, though moe encouraging the monkey he bet on to stab the other and chuckling, he aint pretty no more, wasnt cut.
- homer putting a knife in his mouth and dropping it on his hand while rubbing out the charlie horse in his leg was cut.
- during the gracie films logo, homer saying, dont shush me, you rich bastard! Was replaced with the version of the logo from missionary: impossible (where he says, save me, jebus!). Contrast with bbc where the entire line is replaced with the normal gracie films audio (the woman going shh! And the gracie films music) and sky showcase, which cut homers line down to dont shush me!
[alone again, natura-diddily](/wiki/alone_again,_natura-diddily)
- moe saying that he would have been on maude if ned had died was cut.
- ned in the shower with his penis pixelated on the dating video was edited so that the penis shape is further obscured.
[missionary: impossible](/wiki/missionary:_impossible)
- homer saying, if theyre not having a go with a bird, theyre having a row with a wanker! Was edited to cut ...With a wanker.
- homer saying, i cant kill a man! Was cut, and so was betty white asking him if he thought he could just stab his problems away.
- ak saying, bouncy, bouncy! In reference to the island of topless girls was cut, though not homer asking ak why there are no topless women on the island as seen in geographic magazines and qtoktok saying the women are all on an island where anything goes.
- homer saying, now my testicles got ants on it! Was cut, though not the reveal that homer is drinking his island drink in a bull testicle instead of a coconut.
- homer getting high off licking toads while radioing his family from the island was cut, though not bart asking homer if hes been licking toads.
[pygmoelian](/wiki/pygmoelian)
- the name of the carnival attraction, the tipsy-whirl and the female carnival barker saying, okay, kids, who wants to know what its like to get drunk? Was cut, though not bart getting on the ride, the female carnival barker calling bart charming, and the similarly spun-around kids (which include milhouse and ralph) staggering around and acting drunk.
- titania telling duffman, you said if i slept with you, i wouldnt have to touch the drunk! Was cut, as was duffmans line, duffman says a lot of things. Oh yeah!
- moe saying, uh, i just want to say that it was an honor for me to compete with the mick and the chick with the rack there. Was cut, as mick is a derogatory term for an irishman.
- the male surgeon asking the female surgeon if she wants to see moes genitals was cut.
- moes line, ive been called ugly, pug ugly, fugly, pug fugly, but never ugly-ugly after the flashback of his failed soap opera audition was changed to ive been called ugly, pug ugly, but never ugly-ugly.
- the technical director yelling, what the fudge? With fudge bleeped out was cut.
[bart to the future](/wiki/bart_to_the_future)
- bart saying, when were finished, we can go through bill clintons porno stash! Was changed to when were finished, we can go through bill clintons stash (though the close-up of the box that reads, girlies what aint got no clothes on wasnt cut).
- krustys poor-taste joke about pakistan being different from a pancake because i dont know any pancakes that were nuked by india! Was cut at the time of its premiere due to actual news of india and pakistan being on the brink of nuclear war. The line has since been reinstated.
[kill the alligator and run](/wiki/kill_the_alligator_and_run)
- marge saying that homer had just had a breakdown, followed by him shaking and holding a sign saying mental and saying that his pockets hurt was cut.
- kid rock saying, yo, lets waste this biatch!, Followed by homer saying, biatch? Moi? Was cut. However, this is uncut in evening airings.
[last tap dance in springfield](/wiki/last_tap_dance_in_springfield)
- lil vicki saying, im ever so pissed! After discovering that lisa has self-tapping shoes was cut.
[its a mad, mad, mad, mad marge](/wiki/it%27s_a_mad,_mad,_mad,_mad_marge)
- homer stabbing his own fingers with the kitchen knife was cut.
- becky telling marge that she wants to marry otto because he has a clean police record and doesnt do any needle drugs was cut.
[behind the laughter](/wiki/behind_the_laughter)
- marges line either (bleep) or get off the pot when shes telling the story about how homer wanted to create his own tv pilot (which would later become the simpsons) was cut. The narrators and (bleep) he did was cut down to and he did.
- homers line during the act 1 break, i wanna set the record straight: i thought the cop was a prostitute, was cut.
- the scene where the nurse pours painkillers in homers mouth during his physical therapy session was shortened, though homer admitting he got addicted to painkillers because of the iconic scene from bart the daredevil where he actually got injured during his fall off springfield gorge and continued taking painkillers so he could do all the dangerous physical comedy on the show wasnt cut.
- marges line, i learned something. When people reach for their diaphragm, they don’t want to see my picture, followed by marge holding up a diaphragm with her disapproving face on it was cut, though not the line about marge losing most of the familys money on her misguided investment in birth control products.
- the shots of a plane with its wing on fire and a man in a devil costume dancing and laughing over the narrators line, the simpsons tv show started out on a wing and a prayer. But now the wing was on fire, and the prayer had been answered by satan, were replaced with an extended shot of the simpson family in the recording booth.
- the scene where the narrator explains that, while the simpsons was on hiatus due to the iowa state fair fiasco and the continuing decline of the shows quality, fox replaced the show with security camera footage from the dressing rooms at ann taylor as part of a show called peepin it real! Was cut.
[season 12](/wiki/season_12)
[treehouse of horror xi](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xi)
- all text during the munsters spoof cold opening was strangely missing.
- on g-g-ghost d-d-dad:
- homer mentioning the testicle thing was cut, though not the other deaths he managed to avoid (i.E., The snake bite, the over-the-top bloody paper cut, and the pickaxe) before dying of eating broccoli.
- on night of the dolphin:
- homer using the krusty burger drive-thru as the squeaky-voiced teen is being brutally attacked by a dolphin (and homer not noticing that the dolphin is using the squeaky-voiced teens corpse to hand homer his order) was cut.
- quimbys line, were all frightened and horny, but we cant let some killer dolphins keep us from living and scoring! Was edited to were all frightened, but we cant let some killer dolphins keep us from living.
- homer mentioning the glory hole as one of mankinds greatest inventions was cut.
[a tale of two springfields](/wiki/a_tale_of_two_springfields)
- homer saying that the who used to be called the hillbilly bugger boys was cut.
- homer strangling bart with the telephone wire, followed by bart beating homer with the receiver until they both pass out was cut.
- kent saying on tv, because of you, were all taking golden showers! Followed by the staff in the studio laughing was cut.
[lisa the tree hugger](/wiki/lisa_the_tree_hugger)
- moe throwing open the door and threatening to cut bart like a box during barts job as a menu boy was cut.
- after marge says that she and homer dont have a stash, homer hesitantly saying, no, of course... Not. Was cut, as it implies a drug-related stash, though homer saying that lisa is going to narc on their stash (which is a more blatant reference to the stash being drug-related) wasnt cut.
- homer strangling bart after lisa thinks the two are hugging each other during dinner was shortened.
- the exterior to hemp city when the lisa log is about to plow into it was cut, though the name and place is still seen when jesse is reading the newspaper about what happened to it.
[homer vs. Dignity](/wiki/homer_vs._dignity)
- moes line, ha! You aint going nowhere, cutie. Was cut from the infamous panda rape sequence during pre-watershed (post-watershed is uncut).
- homers line i mean, screw you! When he refuses mr. Burns offer to degrade himself for 903 dollars was cut during pre-watershed hours (post-watershed is uncut).
[the computer wore menace shoes](/wiki/the_computer_wore_menace_shoes)
- bart saying that a switchblade was found in his locker was cut, though not bart saying he took a swing at a cop and thats hes been feeling mad all the time.
- comic book guy looking at the websites x-rated girls and dial x for sex was cut.
[hom?](/Wiki/hom%d0%af)
- the opening marquee reading totally sick, twisted, f***ed up animation festival initially replaced f***ed-up with a second twisted, while later airings changed f***ed up to messed up. Contrast with sky showcase, where f***ed-up is digitally removed, making the marquee read, totally sick, twisted [empty space] animation festival.
[new kids on the blecch](/wiki/new_kids_on_the_blecch)
- bart saying, screw you, man! Were gonna play it anyway! And skinner walking off sadly was cut.
[hungry, hungry homer](/wiki/hungry,_hungry_homer)
- paint-drinking pete drinking paint and dying from it was cut.
[bye bye nerdie](/wiki/bye_bye_nerdie)
- the itchy & scratchy-themed cereal commercial was edited twice:
- itchy opening scratchys stomach with a knife was edited to remove sight of the knife.
- a mothers severed head being shown on a platter was cut.
[trilogy of error](/wiki/trilogy_of_error)
- blood spewing from homers thumb after marge accidentally cuts it was cut.
- cletus saying that homer could be one of them tv magic queers was cut.
[im goin to praiseland](/wiki/i%27m_goin%27_to_praiseland)
- louie saying, no friggin way! When the crowd is admonishing homer and ned for allegedly attacking the orphans who were about to accidentally blow up the park by lighting candles over a leaking gas line was cut.
[season 13](/wiki/season_13)
[treehouse of horror xii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xii)
- hex and the city was cut to remove (during pre-watershed hours. After watershed, these scenes are uncut):
- lenny mentioning that jesus is more powerful than a leprechaun when it comes to breaking gypsy curses (and carl countering that catching jesus is more difficult, and to just stick with getting a leprechaun).
- lenny struggling before dying and carl dying after the two are pinned under a crashed helicopter.
- barts last words, cant live this way anymore! Before he drowns himself in his cereal, though bart actually drowning himself in his cereal and the leprechaun dancing on barts head wasnt cut, nor was the part near the end where marge tells homer barts dead and that he could have been brought back to life if homer just apologized to the gypsy fortuneteller for ruining her office.
- wiz kids was cut to remove (during pre-watershed hours. After watershed, this scene is uncut):
[slithers](/wiki/slithers)sobbing and swallowing[lord montymort](/wiki/lord_montymort)s corpse whole after bart stabs montymort in his enchanted shin.
[the parent rap](/wiki/the_parent_rap)
- marge calling
[judge harm](/wiki/constance_harm)a butthole after homer and marge are sentenced to being locked in stocks was cut. - Homer saying that marge could use drugged up as a substitute for bad was cut.
[homer the moe](/wiki/homer_the_moe)
- this episode was heavily edited on channel 4 during watershed hours to remove the following:
- moes college professor walking in the lake to commit suicide (though not him telling moe that hes dying of cancer)
- homers blood spraying everywhere after trying to pound his fist on the jukebox to get it to play a la fonzie on happy days
- homer giving lisa a cigarette and lisa coughing and stubbing it out
- homer getting sick from lack of oxygen at the oxygen bar
- the russian model lamenting that her penis has been falling off ever since the chernobyl disaster and moe thinking penis is a russian word
- homer calling moe a she-male during his i wont drink at moes song
- homer getting his head stuck in the bear trap and yelling ow! Son of a --
[weekend at burnsies](/wiki/weekend_at_burnsie%27s)
- this episode only airs post-watershed, due to scenes of heavily-implied marijuana smoking and drug use that doesnt show any averse or negative consequences.
[season 14](/wiki/season_14)
[large marge](/wiki/large_marge)
- the youre a bunch of stuff song in the episode was shortened to remove moes line about marge being sexy and exotic like a hooker from belize and dr. Hibbert singing, or a patient with insurance whos crawling with disease. Contrast with sky showcase, which banned the episode due to strong sexual content (all focused on marges breasts), scenes of sexual harassment (marge getting catcalled and leered at because of her accidental breast implant surgery), and the subplot about bart and milhouse imitating a stunt they saw on an old episode of batman that had krusty the clown guest-starring as a villain, and krusty getting in trouble with media watchdog groups over showing dangerous behavior in childrens shows.
[the strong arms of the ma](/wiki/the_strong_arms_of_the_ma)
- homer looking through rainier wolfcastles videotapes and asking him if he starred in any porno movies that werent gay (and rainier solemnly answering, whats there is there) was cut.
- apu telling marge to use the crack house for a bathroom was cut.
- marge beating up the man who mugged her was shortened to remove marge biting the muggers fingers.
- otto realizing he has been smoking pot after marge grabs onto the back of the bus to stop it was cut.
[season 15](/wiki/season_15)
[the president wore pearls](/wiki/the_president_wore_pearls)
[drederick tatum](/wiki/drederick_tatum)greeting people at the charity casino with, so, relax, have fun and please,[god](/wiki/god), don’t piss me off. Was cut.
[the fat and the furriest](/wiki/the_fat_and_the_furriest)
- homer saying id never thought i’d say this, but you slags are are all right. Was cut.
[today, i am a clown](/wiki/today,_i_am_a_clown)
- homers line, i decided to give him a night his wang would never forget was changed to i decided to give him a night he would never forget.
- willies line, hes an irritable, wall-eyed, misfit bastard... Just like willie. Was changed to hes an irritable, wall-eyed misfit...Just like willie.
[tis the fifteenth season](/wiki/%27tis_the_fifteenth_season)
- krusty saying, for legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold. Was cut.
- gil preparing to hang himself with christmas lights was cut.
- homer saying, get back to your bong! Was cut.
- agnes saying, whats your angle, pervert? Was shortened to cut pervert.
- moe attempting suicide by jumping off a building and botching it was cut.
[marge vs. Singles, seniors, childless couples and teens and gays](/wiki/marge_vs._singles,_seniors,_childless_couples_and_teens_and_gays)
- the actor playing marge in the anti-children commercial saying, now its time to do some coke off the blade of a knife! Was cut.
[diatribe of a mad housewife](/wiki/diatribe_of_a_mad_housewife)
- apu saying, this is how you talk when you learn english from porno movies. Was cut.
- the word pissy in marges book was cut.
[smart and smarter](/wiki/smart_and_smarter)
- marge saying, just tell her which friggin button to push! Was changed to just tell her which button to push!
[the ziff who came to dinner](/wiki/the_ziff_who_came_to_dinner)
- artie ziff shown hanging from the kitchen ceiling fan after bart tells homer that artie got depressed after his credit card was declined was cut.
[the wandering juvie](/wiki/the_wandering_juvie)
- bart calling gina a future skank! And gina calling bart a family guy! While beating each other up was cut.
[catch em if you can](/wiki/catch_%27em_if_you_can)
- homer saying, well finally and romantically hump! Was cut.
- homer and marge having sex inside the bouncy house was cut.
[fraudcast news](/wiki/fraudcast_news)
- squeaky-voiced teen jumping off geezer rock over futurama getting canceled (at the time) and landing in a car with two teens making out in it was cut.
- willies opinion on the new tractors (theyre all shite!) Was cut.
[season 16](/wiki/season_16)
[treehouse of horror xv](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xv)
- this episode is only aired post-watershed, due to scenes of violence (including references to prostitute murders in the second story), opium smoking (also from the second story), and body horror/gross-out humor (in the third story).
[alls fair in oven war](/wiki/all%27s_fair_in_oven_war)
- homer saying screw you! Inside his mind was cut.
- homer going inside the walk-in microwave and being set on fire was cut.
- marge calling
[playdude](/wiki/playdude)magazines bosom books was cut. - Marge cutting out the pictures of naked women from a playdude magazine was cut.
- bart saying, then we could have orgies, whatever they are. Was cut.
- lisa saying but screw them, youre in! Was edited to cut screw them.
- marge saying oh bfd! (Bfd standing for big f**king deal) was cut.
- james caan being shot by a group of hicks at the end in a spoof of the tollbooth shootout death scene on the godfather was cut entirely.
[sleeping with the enemy](/wiki/sleeping_with_the_enemy)
- marge saying, and try not to have intercourse on the way! As she escorts nelsons mom out of the house was cut, making it look like marge rudely escorted nelsons mom out the house.
- mrs muntz saying, from the third director i slept with! Was cut.
[she used to be my girl](/wiki/she_used_to_be_my_girl)
- barney drinking bike shiner was cut.
- kent saying, this just in: im pissed off! Was cut.
- marge using the
[shiner- be- gone](/wiki/shiner-_be-_gone)on her black eye was cut. - Homer strangling bart in the house was shortened.
- homer saying that he was growing ashamed of his penis was cut.
[chloe](/wiki/chloe_talbot)having pity sex with barney was cut.- Spongebob saying screw her! As lisa begs for help was cut.
[fat man and little boy](/wiki/fat_man_and_little_boy)
- bart saying i know. Ill write something not gay. Was cut.
- homer wearing the shirt saying rich bitch was cut.
- homer saying that he looks up wang enhancers was cut.
[midnight rx](/wiki/midnight_rx)
- chief wiggum feeding pills to ralph from the evidence locker was cut to remove ralphs pupils dilating and his line, im cuckoo for contraband!
- abe calling his nurse a pill-hoarding hussy was cut.
- the canadian ned flanders offering the american ned flanders a reeferino (and american flanders refusing) was cut.
- neds line about his coffee, its hotter than a fox news weather skank! Was cut.
- apu burning his tongue on his drink was shortened, though not flanders accidentally making apu look like a muslim by wrapping a towel around his head.
[mommie beerest](/wiki/mommie_beerest)
- homer saying screw you! Was muted.
- moe saying screw it. Was cut.
- moe saying know-it-all bitch. Was edited to mute the word bitch.
[homer and neds hail mary pass](/wiki/homer_and_ned%27s_hail_mary_pass)
- dolph saying, now to send this spaz around the world! Was edited to cut the word spaz.
- rod stabbing todd in the film was shortened.
- judge snyder stabbing a baby in the film was cut.
[pranksta rap](/wiki/pranksta_rap)
- marges line about rap encouraging punching, boastfulness, and rudeness to hos was cut to remove hos.
- one of the lines in the rap song (make the hos drop they clothes like they lady godiva) was cut.
- alcatraaaz saying, its idiomatic, biatch. Was edited to cut the word biatch.
[theres something about marrying](/wiki/there%27s_something_about_marrying)
unlike australia and american tv, the uk had no problem with the same-sex marriage theme of this episode and didnt give a higher-than-normal rating for this episode. However, the episode still aired edited for bad language and two scenes of violence and dangerous, imitable behavior:
- when homer calls fox, the automated message, if youre pitching a show where gold-digging skanks get whats coming to them, press one. Was cut.
- patty throwing a cigarette in homers eye was cut.
- homer preparing to stab a fly on his hand was cut.
[on a clear day i cant see my sister](/wiki/on_a_clear_day_i_can%27t_see_my_sister)
- dr. Hibbert continuously injecting bart with the anti-poking vaccine (and apologizing for being distracted because his housekeeper is suing him for sexual harassment) was cut.
[goo goo gai pan](/wiki/goo_goo_gai_pan)
[robert wagner](/wiki/robert_wagner)saying that menopause can cause private dryness on the menopause video was cut.- Homers heart being ripped out by a shaolin temple monk was cut.
[mobile homer](/wiki/mobile_homer)
- homer saying ow, my hemophilia! Was cut.
- the captain saying, it is a shame you dress like a lebanese prostitute. Was cut. Marge saying, well, if he thinks he’s having a corner piece, forget it! Was also cut for continuity reasons.
- the scene where its revealed that marges erratic behavior is from eating food tainted with hashish was cut.
[the seven-beer snitch](/wiki/the_seven-beer_snitch)
- mr. Burns saying i havent seen so many drugs in a wang since i ran a chinese opium den!, Followed by him listing all the drugs in ottos urine sample and blaming it on homer was cut.
- mr. Burns saying guards, remove this coked-out man-balloon from my sight! Was edited to cut coked-out.
[future-drama](/wiki/future-drama)
- bart and lisa calling each other gay for moleman (with hans moleman himself lamenting that no one is gay for him) was cut, but was later added back in.
- assistant principal kearney naming off the drugs he doesnt want to see at the prom was cut to remove puff, though not kearney mentioning booze, kick, doze, maxx, stim, or turb and saying that stim kills.
- principal skinner saying that stim turned superintendent chalmers into a vegetable, followed by a shot of chalmers in a spinning wheelchair only able to say skinner repeatedly was cut.
- bart and jenda passing by the hanged skeleton of professor frink as they explore the basement of his old house was cut.
- milhouse saying, youre screwed! When lisa realizes that not going to yale isnt the end of the world was cut.
[the heartbroke kid](/wiki/the_heartbroke_kid)
- willie saying, what are ya looking at, ya bastards? After falling down the stairs on barts skateboard was edited to cut ya bastards?.
- the imagine spot of robot marge shooting homer was cropped so it happens off-screen and ends early so viewers dont see homers bullet-riddled body.
- krusty talking to bart about smoking moon rocks to feel normal during barts junk food intervention was cut.
[a star is torn](/wiki/a_star_is_torn)
- homer strangling squeaky-voiced teen was shortened.
[thank god its doomsday](/wiki/thank_god_it%27s_doomsday)
- homer saying so all you hippies out there might wanna (mimics smoking) for that one. Was cut.
- homer saying, screw you, dino! Youve squandered your talent! To dean martin was cut down to you squandered your talent!
[home away from homer](/wiki/home_away_from_homer)
- vicki asking katya if she thinks anyone is watching, and katya saying, if they are, they will see us explore our sexhood without restraint, was cut.
- vicky spanking katya with a framed photo of todd was cut.
- moe saying that nothing is sexier than still photos in a girlie magazine, and then noticing the sexy video was cut.
[the father, the son and the holy guest star](/wiki/the_father,_the_son_and_the_holy_guest_star)
- groundskeeper willie saying what drunken call girl will have me now? Was cut.
- st. Peter saying, sean, ya wanker, repent of your wicked ways or sod off. Was edited to cut ya wanker, though not sod off.
- father sean saying that a lot of church types started off as rotten wee buggers was shortened to cut wee buggers.
- homer saying, ive masturbated 8 million times and i have no plans to stop masturbating in the future. Was cut.
[season 17](/wiki/season_17)
[the bonfire of the manatees](/wiki/the_bonfire_of_the_manatees)
- all instances of homer’s hands being hit with hammers were cut.
- all references to the adult film being made at the simpson house was changed to just a film.
- lenny saying he always dreamed of working in an adult film and carl saying hell work in the sex scenes was cut.
- marge freaking out when she notices the
[gentlemans relief productions](/wiki/gentleman%27s_relief_productions) van outside the house was cut.
[the girl who slept too little](/wiki/the_girl_who_slept_too_little)
- alexander graham bell saying, read the patent number, bitch! Was cut to remove bitch.
- willie saying why dont ya fill it, ya lazy bastard? Was edited to cut off the word bastard?
[milhouse of sand and fog](/wiki/milhouse_of_sand_and_fog)
- milhouses daydream was edited to remove the part where kirk tries to hang himself.
[treehouse of horror xvi](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xvi)
on b.I.: Bartificial intelligence:
- homer strangling david and messing with his neck was cut.
- a defunct robot saying, what the f-prompt? Was changed to what the...
- another defunct robot saying, that boy screwed us over! Was cut completely.
on survival of the fattest:
- the lightning flashes on the first sight of mr. Burns mansion were slowed down.
- comic book guy being shot by mr. Burns was edited so it happens off-screen.
- mr. Burns saying, i smell fear...Mixed with curry. While hunting apu was shortened to, i smell fear.
- apu saying, save me jesus! After being reincarnated as a rabbit was cut.
- krustys death was cut.
- barneys corpse being shot was shortened.
- the part after terry bradshaw complains that the network will cut to commercial before homer and marge begin the tender act of love was cut.
[marges son poisoning](/wiki/marge%27s_son_poisoning)
- bart asking but what will junkies do drugs under? After hearing that paradise pier has shut down was left in in 6pm airings, but cut in others.
- bart saying die, die, die! While covering an audience in fire extinguisher was left in in 6pm airings, but cut in others.
[see homer run](/wiki/see_homer_run)
- rainier wolfcastle describing himself as pot-smoking during his election speech was cut (though not wolfcastle describing himself as a woman-groper, a steroid abuser, or a son of a nazi). The line accidentally aired uncut during a morning showing.
- homer asking about lincoln, are you sure there wasnt a midget in his hat? I read an email saying there was. Was cut, but is uncut in evening airings.
[the last of the red hat mamas](/wiki/the_last_of_the_red_hat_mamas)
- marge saying that homer called out his bowling balls name during sex was cut.
- milhouse mentioning his uncle bastardo was cut.
[the italian bob](/wiki/the_italian_bob)
- homer and barts strangulation fight was shortened.
- homer watching a strange arthouse film of a little person feeding an obese woman in a tutu on his gps (satnav in the uk) was cut.
- an italian woman refusing to accept a mug that reads, kentucky because kentucky is (according to her) the italian for whore was cut.
[simpsons christmas stories](/wiki/simpsons_christmas_stories)
- grampa saying, i wish i tried reefer! Was cut, but is uncensored after watershed.
- grampa saying, 15? Whoah, that sounds like a lot of sex. And cyrus replying, i said wives, not girlfriends. After cyrus shows him his many wives was cut, but is uncensored after watershed.
- the montage of moe attempting suicide was cut, but is uncensored after watershed.
[were on the road to doh-where](/wiki/we%27re_on_the_road_to_d%27oh-where)
- moe showing the bar regulars his new suicide rope was cut, though not moe saying that his old suicide rope broke and he won a cash settlement in a class-action lawsuit over it.
[my fair laddy](/wiki/my_fair_laddy)
- nelsons joke about getting new wood in shop class (in reference to the gym teacher, mrs. Pommelhorst, getting a sex change operation and becoming the new wood shop teacher) was cut.
- coach krupt saying, lifes a bitch, son! Was cut.
- willie writing boink slut was cut.
[the seemingly never-ending story](/wiki/the_seemingly_never-ending_story)
- mr. Burns saying, liberal midget! Upon seeing lisa was cut, but is uncut in evening airings.
- mr. Burns saying, dream on, bitch. Was cut to remove the word bitch, but seemed to be uncut in a morning airing, probably by accident.
[homer simpson, this is your wife](/wiki/homer_simpson,_this_is_your_wife)
- the wise guy saying the name of one of the reality shows, dwarf or midget: america decides, was cut, though its name is still seen through the door.
- a cameraman saying that the cigarette he smoked in barts room was a joint was cut.
- charlie saying hes a real man, not like me, a miserable toad under the thumb of the biggest bitch this side of the westminster kennel club. Was edited to cut ...Under the thumb of the biggest bitch this side of the westminster kennel club.
- the camera man saying but i got a great shot of him saying his sons a bastard. Was cut.
[million-dollar abie](/wiki/million-dollar_abie)
- this episode airs regularly on channel 4 post-watershed with a 15 rating due to references to bullying and harassment, assisted suicide, a bad taste joke about down syndrome (lennys line about having downs syndrome after carl says he has melt mania, which actually was edited on channel 4), and animal cruelty.
[the wettest stories ever told](/wiki/the_wettest_stories_ever_told)
- sea captain referring to the journey of the mayflower as the ship that brought prostitutes to america (with lisa correcting him with protestants) was cut.
- ned whipping his back until its bloody, and then pouring salt in it, was cut.
- homer strangling bart was shortened.
- homer calling the ship the gayflower was cut.
- marges offended reply, what did you call me? After homer says land, ho! Was cut.
- willie saying he had been smoking opium was cut.
- the scene where krusty is shown with his legs cut off from his body and dies was cut.
- skeleton bart telling skeleton kearney at least im not gay for skeleton kearney. And that their ribs getting tangled isnt gay was cut.
[girls just want to have sums](/wiki/girls_just_want_to_have_sums)
- nelson saying the principals a tranny! Was cut.
- the captions translating
[bart junior](/wiki/bart_junior_(frog))s croak as i thought he meant his penis! Was cut. - Marges line to lisa, youre the perfect little he-she! Was cut.
[regarding margie](/wiki/regarding_margie)
- ned saying only ten dollars to paint my curb like a common whore? Was cut down to, only ten dollars to paint my curb?
- homer saying, screw you! Was cut.
- marge saying i dont want that judgmental bitch in my house! Was cut.
- homer strangling bart was shortened.
[the monkey suit](/wiki/the_monkey_suit)
- while the scene of milhouse strapped to the torture device wasnt cut, the scene of bart using it to extend milhouses arms and legs was cut, though milhouse walking out of the museum with longer limbs was still shown.
[marge and homer turn a couple play](/wiki/marge_and_homer_turn_a_couple_play)
- lenny saying that he thinks a girl he knew called kelly is now a prostitute was cut.
- homer saying that any man would fantasize about tabithas body even when making love to his own wife (or as he says, his own marge) was cut.
- homer rubbing tabithas shoulder was shortened.
[season 18](/wiki/season_18)
[the mook, the chef, the wife and her homer](/wiki/the_mook,_the_chef,_the_wife_and_her_homer)
- otto asking if he is on drugs after seeing metallica was cut.
[michael](/wiki/michael_d%27amico)being called chef boy-ar-gay was cut.- Homer giving bart a knife and telling him to cut flanders achilles tendon with it was cut.
[jazzy and the pussycats](/wiki/jazzy_and_the_pussycats)
- homer asking marge when and if she wants sex was cut.
- bart and his bandmates saying that they are not smoking reefer in the attic was cut.
[please homer, dont hammer em](/wiki/please_homer,_don%27t_hammer_%27em)
- helen saying, you provide food and sexual release for your handy husband. Was cut.
[treehouse of horror xvii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xvii)
- the hanged skeleton in the mansion was cut.
- homer eating jeremy freedman was shortened.
- homer biting off neds head was cut.
- bart looking at the car that krustys midgets drowned in was cut.
- the
[golem of prague](/wiki/golem_of_prague)shooting many jewish people and later more people in krustys show was cut. - Krusty saying oh i need a box full of blow to get through this show. Was cut.
- edna handing cigarettes to children was cut.
- a man in the recording studio holding up a sign saying screw you before leaving was cut.
- homer shooting disco stu in the back was cut.
[g.I. Doh](/wiki/g.I._d%27oh)
- lenny asking moe if he was drawing a wang on marmaduke, then moe saying that he was drawing wangs on the sudoku numbers, was cut.
[moena lisa](/wiki/moe%27n%27a_lisa)
- homer saying, whoa, marge, whod you piss off? Was cut completely. In contrast, sky showcase just cut the line down to whoa, marge!
- moe saying, screw you, snail trail! Was cut.
[ice cream of margie (with the light blue hair)](/wiki/ice_cream_of_margie_(with_the_light_blue_hair))
- ralph calling himself a unitard was cut.
- homer saying, this is the most fun ive ever had giving you wood. Was cut.
[the haw-hawed couple](/wiki/the_haw-hawed_couple)
- milhouse saying trust me bart. Its better to walk in on both of your parents than on just one of them. Was cut.
- martins line where he uses a gay-related slur to mean a bundle of sticks (and the word and definition actually shown onscreen) was cut.
- nelson saying i hate milk! It comes from cow wangs! Was edited to remove it comes from cow wangs!
[kill gil, volumes i & ii](/wiki/kill_gil,_volumes_i_%26_ii)
- homer saying, give back that holiday cheer, you bastard! Was edited to cut you bastard.
- homer asking, what does a porn star have to do with this? After marge says gil was kept at their house due to christian charity was cut.
- a green liquid coming out of the grumples eye after homer hits him with a beer glass was cut.
[the wife aquatic](/wiki/the_wife_aquatic)
- the police officer hanging himself and being sent to hell in the silent movie was cut.
- moe saying even i aint hopin for porn. Was cut.
- the reference to the carousel horse having swastikas carved in its eyes was removed.
- nathaniel saying, and a little meth money on the side! Was cut down to remove meth.
- homer spouting gibberish when the hook touches his brain was cut.
- homer asking if he will be queer strange or queer gay? As a fisherman, followed by the old fisherman saying oh, a touch of both. Were cut.
[fausto](/wiki/fausto)playing with the pen knife was cut.
[revenge is a dish best served three times](/wiki/revenge_is_a_dish_best_served_three_times)
- marge saying that the kids are still drunk from school, followed by bart and lisa acting drunk was cut.
- mr burns telling homer also, because you slept, i violated you repeatedly. Was cut.
- moe asking if the chair was good for doing the wife was cut.
- moe being burned alive by homer in a frying pan was cut.
- a sign with hitler saying before i was a nazi leader, i was a nazi reader. Was cut.
- willie talking to milhouse and milhouse having willies head cut off was cut.
- the radio presenter saying that
[bartman](/wiki/bartman_(character))is knocking down bad guys like howard hughes knocks up young starlets was cut. - Bartman taking down a villain called the toker (a marijuana-based version of the joker) was cut.
[poison lenny](/wiki/poison_lenny)saying he is a transvestite and not a supervillain was cut.- Chief wiggum repeatedly shooting poison lennys corpse was cut.
[little big girl](/wiki/little_big_girl)
- bart making it look like the lake land butter indian maiden has boobs was shortened.
- a person saying, im two midgets in a costume! Was shortened to im in a costume.
[springfield up](/wiki/springfield_up)
[declan desmond](/wiki/declan_desmond)saying but her interests soon expanded beyond shutterbuggery. Was shortened in channel 4 airings to remove beyond shutterbuggery (which is wordplay on buggery, which is what the uk called male homosexuality back when it was illegal).- Moe saying, all i got is this porn channel im too cheap to descramble. Was changed to all i got is this channel im too cheap to descramble.
[yokel chords](/wiki/yokel_chords)
- cletus having a raccoon hung was cut.
[homerazzi](/wiki/homerazzi)
- the scene with homer and marge reading a magazine featuring the headline mr teenys cocaine orgy was cut.
- moe telling homer i was gonna use it to take secret photos in the ladies toilet, but, uh, no dames ever come in this joint. Was shortened to i was gonna use it to take secret photos, but, uh...
- two ladies coming into moes tavern saying they are going to trade bras and panties in the ladies toilet followed by moe saying oh, you got to be kidding me! And breaking his glass in a rage was cut.
- homer taking pictures of drederick tatum snorting secretariats ashes like cocaine and mayor quimby and kent brockman dressed in sexual costumes (kent in s&m gear and mayor quimby as a baby) were cut.
[marge gamer](/wiki/marge_gamer)
- moe being ordered to wring blo |
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| Maswartz |
| Posted on Tuesday, January 21 @ 00:00:29 PST (4 reads) | |
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Republikkkanorcs: “”
raportert-deactivated20180310 huffingtonpost.Com oklahoma state senator facing prostitution charges involving underage teen sen. Ralph shortey was under investigation after allegedly found in a motel room with a boy last week. Oh look: republican family values! Jeezuz khrist must be so proud!According to the senate’s website, shortey attended a baptist bible college in oklahoma city before providing mission work overseas.
showinbulge-blog showinbulge resigned former oklahoma state republican senator, ralph shortey, to plead guilty to child sex trafficking involving a 17 year old boy.11-18-2017former oklahoma state sen. Ralph shortey, a republican “family values” politician, has agreed to plead guilty to a child sex trafficking offense for offering to pay a 17-year-old boy for sexual “stuff” last march.In exchange for his guilty plea, u.S. Prosecutors have agreed to drop three child pornography counts against him.His jury trial had been set to begin dec. 5 in oklahoma city federal court. He is now scheduled to plead guilty nov. 30 instead.By making a deal, shortey, 35, hopes to avoid being locked up for most of the rest of his life. Still, he will be required to serve at least a 10-year prison term, the mandatory minimum time for child sex trafficking.The maximum time for the offense is life in prison. U.S. District judge timothy degiusti will decide the punishment at a sentencing next year.“It is in my best interest and in the best interest of my family,” shortey wrote on plea paperwork signed monday. He remains married to his high school sweetheart, jennifer shortey, his defense attorney said. They have four daughters.The defense attorney, ed blau, negotiated the plea agreement for shortey after reviewing the evidence and applicable case law.“Mr. Shortey feels this is a necessary step in putting this painful and humiliating ordeal behind him, for both himself, his family and for the state of oklahoma,” the attorney said friday.Shortey, r-oklahoma city, was first elected in 2010 and was known for his offbeat legislative proposals that at times attracted national attention. He resigned march 22.Shortey — who once planned to be a missionary — was investigated first by moore police and then the fbi after being found with the teenager at the super 8 in moore about 1 a.M. March 9.The teenager’s girlfriend had followed them to the hotel after seeing shortey pick him up. She then alerted the teenager’s father who called police.Police reported shortey and the victim had carried on a conversation about sex using the messaging app kik before going to the hotel. Their conversation had turned graphic when the teenager wrote, “i need money for spring break,” according to police.Shortey had replied, “i don’t really have any legitimate things i need help with right now. Would you be interested in ‘sexual’ stuff?” The teenager then wrote, “yes,” according to police.Officers reported finding an open box of condoms in shortey’s backpack and a bottle of lotion in the teenager’s backpack.The victim “confirmed that he and shortey intended to have sexual contact and that they had agreed shortey would pay him for the contact,” an fbi agent reported in a court affidavit. Both beds were described as unmade.The two had met a year before through a craigslist ad.The investigation of shortey uncovered evidence he had led a secret life. The fbi reported he used fake names to post craigslist ads seeking sex with young males and on an email account to send and receive male pornography, including underage males.“Shortey used those pseudonyms almost exclusively for illicit and illegal sexual interests or encounters, several of which included communications and exchanges of pornography with underage males, and/or the sharing of child pornography,” the fbi agent wrote in the court affidavit.A federal grand jury indicted shortey in september.He was accused in the child sex trafficking count of knowingly recruiting the underage male to engage in a commercial sex act.He was accused in one of the child pornography counts of persuading that teenager to send him an inappropriate photo in 2016. He was accused in the other child pornography counts of emailing sexually explicit videos to two individuals in october 2013.The plea agreement calls for federal prosecutors to ask the judge at sentencing to dismiss the child pornography counts. Also, according to the deal, shortey “will not be further prosecuted by the united states attorney’s office for the western district of oklahoma for any crimes related to his transportation, possession or production of child pornography or child sex trafficking during the period from october 2013 through march 9, 2017.”Shortey had also faced a child prostitution charge in cleveland county district court. That felony case was dismissed after he was indicted in federal court.Leave the children alone. Https://tinyurl.Com/y6upd9qq
liberalsarecool these are your republican ‘family values’. A mother breastfeeding is subject to being molested? Where are the conservatives denouncing this guy? Where is the media? And the right wing says there is no gop ‘war on women’. Violence towards women is normative in their politics.
truth-has-a-liberal-bias republicans (and maga morons) always lie when the truth doesnt fit their narrative.
majingojira gaslighting republikans - maga hypocrisy has no boundariesyou would think by now, maga morons would know there is video of everything they have ever said “ …but everyone knows that republicans have no morals. So in that context, trump’s supposed affair with stormy daniels is no big deal.”
reagan-was-a-horrible-president yep, that’s correct you maga morons your favorite fake news outlet had to pony up almost $800,000,000 for lying ???? And had to tell the truth for once and declared that they’re not news but an entertainment channel.I don’t know about you but i hate a liar ???? And fox & trump that’s all they do! Fox literally argued under oath that no sane person would take tucker carlson seriously.
wemblingfool mango mussolini is now a convicted felon!Sadly, that wont make a difference to the maga morons. |
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| Toyah Habeeb |
| Posted on Tuesday, January 21 @ 00:00:29 PST (4 reads) | |
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===1997-2003=== |
===1997-2003=== |
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? | In [[july 1997]], toyah and her family moved into [[5 coronation street]]. Toyah was a fairly typical schoolgirl who was struggling with the normal ups and downs of teenage life. As the family moved in, toyah stole a drill from [[bill webster]]s van and gave it to les as a present. She soon developed a crush on her neighbour, [[spider nugent|spider]], who introduced her to environmentalism, as well as the occasional cannabis joint. It was spider who helped toyah save [[theresa (turkey)|theresa]] the turkey from the battersbys dinner table at [[christmas]]. Toyah became very enthusiastic about the eco-warrior lifestyle; so much so that she poured anti-freeze all over the freezers in a grocery store while protesting the sale of prawns in the said shop. |
+ | in [[july 1997]], toyah and her family moved into [[5 coronation street]]. Toyah was a fairly typical schoolgirl who was struggling with the normal ups and downs of teenage life. As the family moved in, toyah stole a drill from [[bill webster]]s van and gave it to les as a present. She soon developed a crush on her neighbour, [[spider nugent|spider]], who introduced her to environmentalism, as well as the occasional cannabis joint. It was spider who helped toyah save [[theresa (turkey)|theresa]] the turkey from the battersbys dinner table at [[christmas]]. Toyah became very enthusiastic about the eco-warrior lifestyle; so much so that she poured anti-freeze all over the freezers in a grocery store while protesting the sale of prawns in the said shop. Toyah got her exam results in [[august 1999]] and had a party to celebrate being the first battersby to go to college. |
toyah and spider eventually became a couple after spending the night together on the [[red rec]] while watching the [[1999 eclipse|solar eclipse]] (amongst other activities). They lived together at [[emily bishop]]s house for a short while, but she put them out after they disobeyed the rules regarding sex in the house. They pitched a tent on the red rec to live in but unsurprisingly, this did not last long. They wound up living in [[linda sykes]]s old bedsit at [[flat 3, 6 arnica street]], and for a while, spider paid the rent with the money he was earning at the benefits office. When spider left his job on principle, he decided to take a trip to [[india]]. Toyah couldnt face going that far away and spider left without her. |
toyah and spider eventually became a couple after spending the night together on the [[red rec]] while watching the [[1999 eclipse|solar eclipse]] (amongst other activities). They lived together at [[emily bishop]]s house for a short while, but she put them out after they disobeyed the rules regarding sex in the house. They pitched a tent on the red rec to live in but unsurprisingly, this did not last long. They wound up living in [[linda sykes]]s old bedsit at [[flat 3, 6 arnica street]], and for a while, spider paid the rent with the money he was earning at the benefits office. When spider left his job on principle, he decided to take a trip to [[india]]. Toyah couldnt face going that far away and spider left without her. |
latest revision as of 00:13, 21 january 2025
toyah laverne habeeb (née lee, previously battersby) is a former rovers return landlady, stepsister of leanne battersby and widow of imran habeeb.
born as the result of a teenage fling between janice lee and ronnie clegg, toyah grew up not knowing her father. She was raised by janice and les battersby along with less daughter leanne. Toyah was the brains of the family, idealistic but impressionable. Shortly after moving to coronation street in 1997, she fell for eco-warrior spider nugent. They were together for a while but when he quit his job at the dss and went to india, toyah stayed behind.
toyah studied journalism and art at weatherfield university while working at the rovers as a barmaid. In 2001, she was raped by phil simmonds, a former neighbour she had helped fight eviction. Six months later, she had a stillborn daughter, who she named rose after burying her at north cross park. She left the street in 2003 after finding out that her lecturer boyfriend john arnley had cheated on her with her best friend maria sutherland. Reuniting with spider, she spent some time in london running a juice bar before settling in liverpool, working as a drugs rehab counsellor. In 2016, she left her husband of five years [toby chapman](/wiki/toby_chapman) for [peter barlow](/wiki/peter_barlow), returning to [weatherfield](/wiki/weatherfield).
in [2017](/wiki/2017), toyah and peter bought the rovers and became the pubs new landlords. She longed to be a mother, but failed to get pregnant with ivf, and their surrogate, [jacqui ainsworth](/wiki/jacqui_ainsworth), later miscarried. Toyah struck a deal with [eva price](/wiki/eva_price) to pass off her newborn daughter [susie](/wiki/susie_barlow) as the baby jacqui had carried, but the guilt of separating mother and daughter led her to return susie to eva. Peter then finished with toyah and sold the rovers.
by the end of [2018](/wiki/2018), toyah was living with her new partner imran habeeb. They married in [2022](/wiki/2022) with the hope of creating a family unit with their foster daughter [elsie](/wiki/elsie_(2021/2_character)) and imrans son [alfie](/wiki/alfie_franklin). In order to facilitate this, toyah had forgiven imran for being unfaithful to her with [abi franklin](/wiki/abi_franklin), but when he confessed that hed lied in court to gain custody of alfie, she deliberately crashed her car, killing him. At the resulting trial, toyah was cleared of murder.
in [2024](/wiki/2024), leanne joined wellness group the altovalent institute and shut out toyah and her partner [nick tilsley](/wiki/nick_tilsley). The pair found solace in each other and nick left leanne for her after supporting her through her treatment for ovarian cancer. She now lives with him and his son [sam blakeman](/wiki/sam_blakeman) at [12 victoria court](/wiki/12_victoria_court) and manages the [viaduct bistro](/wiki/viaduct_bistro).
biography
1982-1997: growing up
toyah laverne lee was born in [oldham](/wiki/oldham) on [28th may](/wiki/28th_may) [1982](/wiki/1982) to teenage parents [janice lee](/wiki/janice_lee) and [ronnie clegg](/wiki/ronnie_clegg). Ronnie was a useless father and janice did most of the work involved in looking after toyah as well as holding down a job while ronnie did a stint in prison. Janice finally had enough of ronnie and threw him out of the house when toyah was only two years old; for the next few years she would raise toyah as a single mother. Janice struggled to get by but did the best she could for her daughter.
janice later began a relationship with [les battersby](/wiki/les_battersby) and they were married in [1994](/wiki/1994), with toyah officially adopting les’s surname at the same time. In addition to a stepfather, toyah gained a stepsister, [leanne](/wiki/leanne_battersby), who was a year older than her. The [battersbys](/wiki/battersby_family) were an anti-social family and prone to disputes with neighbours, which led to them regularly being rehoused by the council.
1997-2003
in [july 1997](/wiki/july_1997), toyah and her family moved into [5 coronation street](/wiki/5_coronation_street). Toyah was a fairly typical schoolgirl who was struggling with the normal ups and downs of teenage life. As the family moved in, toyah stole a drill from [bill webster](/wiki/bill_webster)s van and gave it to les as a present. She soon developed a crush on her neighbour, [spider](/wiki/spider_nugent), who introduced her to environmentalism, as well as the occasional cannabis joint. It was spider who helped toyah save theresa the turkey from the battersbys dinner table at [christmas](/wiki/christmas). Toyah became very enthusiastic about the eco-warrior lifestyle; so much so that she poured anti-freeze all over the freezers in a grocery store while protesting the sale of prawns in the said shop. Toyah got her exam results in [august 1999](/wiki/august_1999) and had a party to celebrate being the first battersby to go to college.
toyah and spider eventually became a couple after spending the night together on the [red rec](/wiki/red_rec) while watching the [solar eclipse](/wiki/1999_eclipse) (amongst other activities). They lived together at [emily bishop](/wiki/emily_bishop)s house for a short while, but she put them out after they disobeyed the rules regarding sex in the house. They pitched a tent on the red rec to live in but unsurprisingly, this did not last long. They wound up living in [linda sykes](/wiki/linda_sykes)s old bedsit at flat 3, 6 arnica street, and for a while, spider paid the rent with the money he was earning at the benefits office. When spider left his job on principle, he decided to take a trip to [india](/wiki/india). Toyah couldnt face going that far away and spider left without her.
the night before [easter](/wiki/easter) sunday in [2001](/wiki/2001), toyah was having a night out with mechanic [sam kingston](/wiki/sam_kingston). While on her way home alone, toyah was raped and left for dead in the ginnel, only to be discovered the next morning by [jason grimshaw](/wiki/jason_grimshaw), out for an early morning run. Toyah was forced to tell her mother what had happened and relive the event while relating her story to the police. Matters were complicated because toyah was only semi-conscious at the time of the attack, and therefore did not know who her attacker was. After much finger-pointing at various male residents of [coronation street](/wiki/coronation_street), it was discovered on [30th april](/wiki/30th_april) 2001, that toyahs rapist was [phil simmonds](/wiki/phil_simmonds), a man she had befriended after meeting through spider. Phil had come over to her house to comfort her after the ordeal but when he called her name while she was in the kitchen, toyah had a flashback and realised that her attacker was sitting in her living room. Toyah tried to pretend that everything was alright, but phil realised that she had remembered what hed done to her and grabbed her around the throat. Toyah was saved when [peter barlow](/wiki/peter_barlow) (who had himself been accused of the crime, but was ruled out by dna evidence) heard her screams and broke down the door. Phil was eventually sent to prison, but toyah was traumatised by everything that had happened to her.
after the ordeal, toyah returned to college, moved in with [fiz brown](/wiki/fiz_brown) and [maria sutherland](/wiki/maria_sutherland) in the flat above the hairdressers and tried to move on with her life. In [2002](/wiki/2002) she started dating one of her former professors, [john arnley](/wiki/john_arnley). Toyah left him after discovering that her best friend maria had had a one-night stand with john in [january 2003](/wiki/january_2003), which resulted in her falling pregnant by him. Despite the fact that maria had an abortion, toyah couldnt handle johns infidelity and left for a new life in sheffield, before reconciling with her ex-boyfriend [spider nugent](/wiki/spider_nugent) and moving to [london](/wiki/london) with him, as he had started his own juice company there.
2003-2016
after her departure, toyah was mentioned numerous times by the streets residents, mainly by janice and leanne. At some point after leaving the street, her and spider split up. She married a man named [toby chapman](/wiki/toby_chapman) in [2011](/wiki/2011) and went to stay with him in [liverpool](/wiki/liverpool). Leanne was upset when toyah was unable to make her 30th birthday party that [july](/wiki/july_2011) due to missing her train.
in [october 2013](/wiki/october_2013), leanne went to stay with toyah for a week or so after discovering her husband [nick](/wiki/nick_tilsley)s infidelity.
on the day of [tina mcintyre](/wiki/tina_mcintyre)s funeral in [june 2014](/wiki/june_2014), leanne was called away to attend to janice at toyahs flat in [liverpool](/wiki/liverpool). While looking after the property, janice had injured herself trying to climb through a window after locking herself out.
2016-
in mid-[2016](/wiki/2016) toyah began having an affair with leannes ex-husband [peter barlow](/wiki/peter_barlow) after the pair had met at a bar. The pair of them continued to correspond and when peter returned to the street in [november](/wiki/november_2016) he didnt disclose the relationship. Toyah returned to the street herself the following month on christmas day, having left toby. When leanne asked what happened, toyah claimed that toby got angry which forced her to flee. Toyah and leanne witnessed a fight between peter and nick in the street, as the latter accused peter of still fancying leanne. In order not to disclose his secret with toyah, peter claimed he still cared for leanne. Later that evening, toyah met peter at a hotel and they slept together.
personality
relationships
hobbies and interests
background information
toyah battersby was introduced to coronation street as part of the roguish, family from hell [battersby](/wiki/battersby_family) clan. The role went to 17-year-old georgia taylor, a student of the willpower youth theatre. It was taylors first professional acting role; she had originally auditioned for the part of pregnant teenager [zoe tattersall](/wiki/zoe_tattersall), which ultimately went to [joanne froggatt](/wiki/joanne_froggatt). Toyah first appeared, debuting alongside her stepfather [les](/wiki/les_battersby) and stepsister [leanne](/wiki/leanne_battersby), in [episode 4223](/wiki/episode_4223_(4th_july_1997)) broadcast on [4th july](/wiki/4th_july) [1997](/wiki/1997), her mother janice having first appeared seven months previously.
the character of toyah was named after actress and singer toyah willcox who was at the height of her popularity around the time that the character would have been born. Willcox granted the producers permission to name the character after her.
in [1999](/wiki/1999), taylor was nominated for best dramatic performance at the inaugural british soap awards for her role as toyah, but lost out to emmerdales kelvin fletcher. However, she was nominated for the same award two years later in [2001](/wiki/2001) - hot on the heels on a storyline in which toyah was raped by [phil simmonds](/wiki/phil_simmonds) - and this time walked away with the prize. A few months later, taylor also won most popular actress at the national television awards.
in [january 2003](/wiki/january_2003), toyah was teased to be murdered by [richard hillman](/wiki/richard_hillman) via [itv1](/wiki/itv1)s killer corrie promotion. In the trailer she was very briefly seen (alongside [archie shuttleworth](/wiki/archie_shuttleworth), [audrey roberts](/wiki/audrey_roberts) and [emily bishop](/wiki/emily_bishop)) as richard spoke about his murderous intentions. This was a red herring, as the eventual victim was [maxine peacock](/wiki/maxine_peacock), not seen in the trailer. Toyah departed from the programme, very much alive, the [following month](/wiki/february_2003).
over the next thirteen years, toyah was mentioned by other characters; the character even planned to return for leannes 30th birthday party in [2011](/wiki/2011) but missed her train. Leanne also visited her sister on multiple occasions, but always offscreen. Georgia taylor was asked to return for a couple of episodes in [2005](/wiki/2005) as a guest at less wedding to [cilla brown](/wiki/cilla_battersby-brown), but had other commitments.
in [2016](/wiki/2016), it was announced that taylor would be returning to the show after a 13-year absence. She returned in [episode 9065](/wiki/episode_9065_(25th_december_2016)), broadcast on [christmas day](/wiki/25th_december) of the same year.
first and last lines
[dad](/wiki/les_battersby)...? Happy birthday! (First line)
appendices
list of addresses
*temporary residence
address | duration |
---|---|
|
[may 1982](/wiki/may_1982)to unknown[3 coronation street](/wiki/3_coronation_street)*[20th september 1999](/wiki/episode_4685_(20th_september_1999))[7 coronation street](/wiki/7_coronation_street)[3rd october 1999](/wiki/episode_4692_(3rd_october_1999))[red rec](/wiki/red_rec)*[6th october 1999](/wiki/episode_4694_(6th_october_1999))[18th october 1999](/wiki/episode_4701_(18th_october_1999))[6th september 2000](/wiki/episode_4887_(6th_september_2000))[rovers return inn](/wiki/rovers_return_inn)[15th april 2001](/wiki/episode_5020_(15th_april_2001))[19th february 2002](/wiki/episode_5217_(19th_february_2002))[14a victoria street](/wiki/14a_victoria_street)[14th june 2002](/wiki/episode_5285_(14th_june_2002))[2a coronation street](/wiki/2a_coronation_street)[5th february 2003](/wiki/episode_5435_(5th_february_2003))[8 victoria court](/wiki/8_victoria_court)[3rd february 2017](/wiki/episode_9093_(3rd_february_2017))[19a rosamund street](/wiki/19a_rosamund_street)[24th july 2017](/wiki/episode_9214_(24th_july_2017))[8th august 2018](/wiki/episode_9528_(8th_august_2018))[tile street](/wiki/tile_street),[weatherfield](/wiki/weatherfield)[26th october 2018](/wiki/episode_9596_(26th_october_2018))[12 victoria court](/wiki/12_victoria_court)[3rd may 2019](/wiki/episode_9760_(3rd_may_2019))[19a victoria street](/wiki/19a_victoria_street)[12th august 2022](/wiki/episode_10715/6_(12th_august_2022))[23rd october 2024](/wiki/episode_11395/6_(23rd_october_2024))employment history
role | institution | duration |
---|---|---|
waitress |
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| Process Expert Spanish - WCSA |
| Posted on Tuesday, January 21 @ 00:00:29 PST (4 reads) | |
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Process expert spanish - wcsa
posted on jan. 20, 2025 by maersk
-
manila, philippines - $nan - $nan
- full time
maersk is a global leader in integrated logistics and have been industry pioneers for over a century. Through innovation and transformation we are redefining the boundaries of possibility, continuously setting new standards for efficiency, sustainability, and excellence.
at maersk, we believe in the power of diversity, collaboration, and continuous learning and we work hard to ensure that the people in our organization reflect and understand the customers we exist to serve.
with over 100,000 employees across 130 countries, we work together to shape the future of global trade and logistics.
join us as we harness cutting-edge technologies and unlock opportunities on a global scale. Together, lets sail towards a brighter, more sustainable future with maersk.
we offer
this is an exciting career opportunity to work in a multinational, global 500 company that makes global trade happen. You will be interacting daily with colleagues internationally, giving you the opportunity to develop your professional skills in a global environment. We provide support for you to shape your own career by achieving expertise and learning on the job.
key responsibilities:
has responsibility for handling daily issue resolutions via email and chat tasks in line with the client/process iops and ensures quality of service is maintained at all times.
may support peers with technical or process related challenges during process execution.
has accountability for preparation of export/import documentation and submission of the same timely and accurately to stakeholders.
adheres to iops and deviations to be checked prior with stakeholders.
focuses on data quality to ensure slas are met.
up-to-date understanding/training of process and iops to create documentation.
may perform root cause analyses in the event of escalations.
may train new hires on the process(es).
who are we looking for:
fluent in spanish and english language.
with at least 1-2 years related experience in customer service handling/support in shipping and logistics industry, bpo industry or from other industries using spanish language.
open to those who had spanish language training/class.
bachelors degree graduate.
college undergraduates can be considered.
ms office proficient.
amenable and highly flexible to work on a permanent nightshift schedule.
willing to work in estancia, pasig city and currently based in the philippines.
amenable to work on a hybrid/rto work set up.
highly adaptable to new processes and a team player.
can start on march 17, 2025.
maersk is committed to a diverse and inclusive workplace, and we embrace different styles of thinking. Maersk is an equal opportunities employer and welcomes applicants without regard to race, colour, gender, sex, age, religion, creed, national origin, ancestry, citizenship, marital status, sexual orientation, physical or mental disability, medical condition, pregnancy or parental leave, veteran status, gender identity, genetic information, or any other characteristic protected by applicable law.
we are happy to support your need for any adjustments during the application and hiring process. If you need special assistance or an accommodation to use our website, apply for a position, or to perform a job, please contact us by emailing accommodationrequests@maersk.Com .
advertised until:
feb. 19, 2025
are you qualified for this internship role?
click here to tailor your resume to match this job
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| King Holiday Honors Marxist, Plagiarist, Sex Criminal, and Phony Christian |
| Posted on Tuesday, January 21 @ 00:00:29 PST (4 reads) | |
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The john birch society
in 2019, david garrow, the biographer of martin luther king jr., Wrote that a “profoundly painful historical reckoning and reconsideration inescapably awaits” with the respect to the great man of the american civil rights movement.
the reason? Revelations that king was an accessory to raping one woman and very likely tried to rape another.
six years later, americans await that “historical reckoning.” Today, as in every year, government offices and schools are closed to honor him, with nary a word being uttered about the real king, who was more than just a sex pervert.
he was also a marxist, champion plagiarist, and most decidedly not a christian believer.
king’s sex crimes
garrow’s frank assessment of king as a “sexual libertine,” based on declassified fbi files, did nothing to dampen the ardor of even the most conservative republicans, and indeed, president donald trump discussed king’s “dream” in today’s inauguration speech.
the fbi files “expose in graphic detail the fbi’s intense focus on king’s extensive extramarital sexual relationships with dozens of women, and also his presence in a washington hotel room when a friend, a baptist minister, allegedly raped one of his ‘parishioners’, while king ‘looked on, laughed and offered advice’,” garrow explained for standpoint. “The fbi’s tape recording of that criminal assault still exists today, resting under court seal in a national archives vault.”
indeed, king might have been a candidate for the guinness book of world records in the adultery category, given that he bedded some 40 women while married to coretta scott king.
but the most chilling revelation about king concerned a night at the willard hotel in washington, d.C., Garrow reported:
approximately 12 individuals “participated in a sex orgy” which the prudish [assistant fbi director william c.] Sullivan felt included “acts of degeneracy and depravity. … When one of the women shied away from engaging in an unnatural act, king and several of the men discussed how she was to be taught and initiated in this respect. King told her that to perform such an act would ‘help your soul’.” Sometime later … “king announced that he preferred to perform unnatural acts on women and that he had started the ‘international association for the advancement of p***y eaters’.” Anyone familiar with king’s often-bawdy sense of humour would not doubt that quotation.
as well, “king is reported to have gone to the apartment of one of his female employees on 11/4/65 and to have torn her clothes off of her in an apparent attempt to attack her,” the fbi reported. A los angeles woman gave birth to this illegitimate child, the bureau said.
king’s binge-drinking sexual libertinism explains garrow’s call for a “profoundly painful historical reckoning and reconsideration” that “inescapably awaits.”
six years after the revelations, americans are still waiting.
plagiarist
another black mark against king is his literary theft — a lesser failing, admittedly, but one that goes to the validity of his doctorate from boston university.
detailed by former chronicles editor theodore pappas decades ago, the plagiarism didn’t merely involve king’s swiping a passage here and there for his doctoral thesis. The thesis was a work of literary grand theft. It was “plagued with plagiarism,” historian ralph luker wrote.
but “his liberal white professors gave him a pass because he was a charming young black man,” luker explained. Those professors “patronized” him.
that didn’t happen at the historically black morehouse college in atlanta, where king was an undergraduate. But, luker explained,
when he went to predominately white institutions in the north, king received extra-ordinarily high grades for academic work which was not only often heavily plagiarized, but was otherwise quite unexceptional. …
the temptation to over-reward a charming young african american student who told his liberal white professors in the north almost exactly what he knew they already deeply believed about a subject was simply overwhelming.
not a christian
but telling the professors what they wanted to hear likely explains king’s false claims about jesus christ and the basic tenets of the christian faith: jesus’ virgin birth, his miracles, and his death and resurrection. Indeed, few americans know that king was not a “christian,” strictly speaking theologically.
king denied that jesus christ was god:
jesus was by no means omnicient [sic]. … The orthodox view of the divinity of christ is in my mind quite readily denied.
jesus was not born of a virgin, king asserted. Rather, he explained, christians concocted the doctrine because they could not explain the “uniqueness of quality and spirit” that jesus possessed and had “no knowledge of the scientific.”
king also denied the resurrection:
from a literary, historical, and philosophical point of view this doctrine raises many questions. In fact the external evidence for the authenticity of this doctrine is found wanting.
in fact, it isn’t and wasn’t found wanting.
finally, king believed that the christian religion sprang from greek, roman, and egyptian “mystery religions. Those “conditioned” people to accept the faith, which was a mere “trend in the social order or in the historical cycle of the human race.” King was particularly obsessed with the supposed connection between jesus christ and mithra, a persian god. In fact, the birth, miracles, death, and resurrection of christ are not a retelling of the mithraic myth.
added to all this is king’s devotion to marxist ideology. A phalanx of communists surrounded him, and he supported racial quotas and reparations for slavery.
despite these incontestable facts, king is the only american who enjoys a national holiday in his name.
thanks to a court order, the fbi’s complete file on king will not be unsealed until 2027. |
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| EW Cromartie |
| Posted on Tuesday, January 21 @ 00:00:29 PST (4 reads) | |
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Ew cromartie
as featured on
longtime columbia city councilman e.W. Cromartie was granted a pardon by former president jo…
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| Bitter cold |
| Posted on Tuesday, January 21 @ 00:00:29 PST (4 reads) | |
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bitter cold
the photographers truck reported a minus 20 on monday morning, jan. 20, 2025, in jamestown.
john m. Steiner / the jamestown sun
today at 4:36 pm
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Content warning:
this story is one of five winners of the stop copaganda short story contest, run in collaboration with fight for the future, rightscon, and compost magazine.
1. The programmer
shadow, light, shadow, shadow, light, shadow.
how long until it’s over?
light, shadow, light, shadow.
“two hours and twenty-five minutes,” calculates the artificial intelligence.
ava feels her face melting from sheer vertigo, in a sweat as cold as it is endless.
shadow, light, shadow, shadow, light, shadow, light.
a tea cooling on the desk. Ava clutches her head as if trying to compose it between her fingers, like broken china: kintsugi[[1]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftn1) for brains.
inhale, exhale. Just two more hours of that play of light, the shadow flicker[[2]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftn2), which will be repeated for 120 of the 365 days of the year, for as many years as her body can resist, because this is the only apartment she could afford. Her life savings and a forty-five-year loan bought her these thirty square meters of ceramic and neon, with a bathroom, two windows, and a small balcony, all facing the wind farm.
ava thinks of the piercing ringing in her ears. At times, it is the only sound she hears, because … when was the last time she heard the birds singing? Some have gone away and others have immolated themselves in the sixty-meter-long blades of the wind turbines. Rotating around the tip of a 120-meter base, they stand dark and haughty over the outskirts of the city.
clean energy for industries, clean energy for the capital, the future is here! What did the maddening coming and going of lights against her window matter, right at two o’clock in the afternoon, when the sun was positioned at the perfect angle to cast an apotheotic shadow that engulfed her building almost completely.
shadow, light, shadow.
gray uroboros[[3]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftn3) towers whose heads devour their tails, creating the most claustrophobic inner courtyards. Buildings like legos copied and pasted all over this voracious city, which grows monotonously upwards to leave some space for the wind farms and rural areas that have survived—because you can’t eat buildings nor artificial intelligence.
those who live in the lofts on the fortieth floor may not have to suffer the erratic comings and goings of light from the wind turbines; perhaps those who face the other way will also be spared. But frankly, she can only imagine, because ava has never spoken to an upstairs neighbor. Or one across the hall. Or anyone downstairs. None at all.
the warnings on the safer city app speak of a violent city, marked by muggings, rapes, and shootings. No one can be trusted these days.
light, shadow, light, light, shadow, light.
so, it’s just her, the computer screen, and the hum of the wind turbine.
if she had wings, would she flee to a better place? Or would she be one of those suicidal birds that just flies into the huge metal turbine blades?
but no matter how much the tinnitus[[4]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftn4) hurts, boiling against her eardrums, she turns her gaze to the screen to review the code that an artificial intelligence has predesigned.
light, shadow, light.
a cheap and fast way of programming, as gray and repetitive as the buildings that are born and die on the horizon: artificial intelligence weaves the code following a plan that copies and pastes without stopping. Fast and cheap, with fewer human hands and brains involved, but not without errors. One line in vain on that platform and a menopausal woman could end up being assigned to a procreation appointment, as happened a few weeks ago to a neighbor; although she tried to alert the platform—too automated to understand—to the error and screamed for help, there was no neighbor to respond nor did she get the procreator to back off. She ended up in the er bleeding to death from the fright and struggle, in an event that was described as “an unfortunate, but isolated mistake” by sibila, the fertility tracking and dating app.
a line in vain and a woman could have a very bad time.
but well-placed code could facilitate the procreation of new boys and girls, which would boost the country’s development and economy. That is why she had to concentrate, despite the …
light, shadow, light, light, shadow, light.
what did the birds sound like? In fact, what did humans sound like? When was the last time she spoke directly to another person?
light, shadow, shadow, shadow, shadow, shadow.
shadow.
the sun had finally gone down.
cold tea.
eardrums. Breathing. Typing.
it hurt less.
2. The user
the rays of an orange sun, dawning among the vapors of the city. And a distorted little bell giving the dreaded warning:
“twelve days since last menstrual period.”
it’s 9 a.M., She still hasn’t eaten her portion of tofu eggs with seaweed, and amaia wants the day to be over.
she wonders if her smart glasses were sufficiently charged for what was coming. She thinks of a series she has yet to watch, but deep down she doesn’t want to ruin it with bad memories. Maybe better to watch a documentary. A bit of true crime might work, to make up for the deep urge to murder she had. Or maybe something about animals. Animals weren’t as cruel as humans.
“twelve days since last menstrual period,” repeats the alarm.
“fertile period in progress. Select a procreator in the area,” it adds.
her menstruation was as regular as the moon. “Healthy specimen,” the platform declared. The constant temperature measurements and menstrual records she had been required to keep since menarche proved it. “Healthy specimen, nulliparous[[5]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftn5),” adds the sibila application next to some of her photographs.
“five minutes to choose a procreator. Otherwise, the system will automatically assign you one.”
so, with half her coffee in her stomach and the other half in her hand, thinking seriously that she didn’t get enough sleep, amaia sits down.
slide left.
slide left.
slide left.
no one and nothing really interests her: neither to give children to her homeland—with birth rate and labor force problems—nor to find the love of her life in one of those procreation visits—mandated for all women over twenty-one years of age without a partner or children. Amaia is no longer so naïve. She just wants to survive the day. And all she needs is a guy who smells decent and hopefully leaves quickly.
suddenly, she stops on a profile.
yes, he has the face of a premature ejaculator and of knowing the shower.
that’s enough.
some quick sex while watching her animal documentaries on the virtual glasses—the same ones that track all her life and maybe even her soul in the future and prevent her from leaving the building if she hasn’t tried to procreate. Then having the rest of the day off because she wasn’t allowed to work during those twenty-four hours.
“it’s not such a bad life either,” she thinks, feeling a pang in her heart and another in her belly.
“it could be worse,” her head tries to convince her. “Like your neighbors whose windows face the wind farm.”
“assigned procreator. Thank you for your service to the chilean homeland,” confirms the system.
3. System error
chile’s community texture was once a firm interweaving of neighborhoods, families, friends, and workers. Common pots, neighborhood mateadas[[6]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftn6), unions, community radio stations, and cooperatives were some of the forms that popular organization took. But this network became evident as a danger to the authoritarian systems of government. That is why it was directly targeted in three major historical moments: first, in 1973 and until 1990, the military dictatorship of augusto pinochet crushed workers’ resistance with disappearances, executions, torture, and the introduction of crack in populations; then, the social revolt of 2019, which filled the streets of almost all of chile with protests, was silenced with state violence, disinformation and, later, with the encirclements of the covid-19 pandemic and the advance of cocaine and fentanyl; but the final blow came in 2040, when in the midst of a security and birth crisis, people agreed to hand over more information to government computer systems.
under the premises of “more information, more security,” “to rescue a chile for chileans,” and “who does nothing, has nothing to hide,” the population—frightened by the bombardment of catastrophic news about crime, mass migration, and loss of chilean culture and values—accepted more and more restrictions: surveillance cameras in every quadrant, hallway, and office; biometric systems in public transportation, building entrances, and workplaces; the verified humanity card; surveillance through smart watches and smartphones.
until escalating to the kast act, which first repealed the legal and free abortion law of 2026; then complicated the prescription, delivery, and sale of female contraceptives; and finally made mandatory the control of the female population of childbearing age through the sibila application, seeking to regulate the low birth rate and the male loneliness crisis …
a metallic clang announces that she has reached her destination.
“what are you reading, veneca[[7]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftn7)? Hurry up,” threatens the foreman.
iraida could have reminded him that those who migrated from venezuela were her grandparents and parents and that she was as chilean as he was, because she was born here. But with racism deepened by the birth crisis and with a hacked digital book reader for old and forbidden pdfs, she was better off keeping her head down and swallowing her anger.
“nothing, i’m coming,” she said, hurrying her pace.
export, export, local, garbage, sorted.
each day she would sleep a few hours, awakening before dawn and taking the bus for two hours across highways and forgotten rural roads, until it took her to some of the remnants of the fields. In the midst of the birth-housing-energy crisis, the cities hyper-concentrated populations and resources, forgetting that without fields and peasants they could not train artificial intelligence to invent food for them. So emergency land was reallocated, often in remote and poorly connected territories. And the second-class population, like her—of venezuelan descent, female and brown-skinned—had to put up with the long hours of traveling, the eternal days squatting down to harvest the crops, and the bad faces and shouts of the foreman every time he found them distracted.
export, local, local, weed.
because no matter how much artificial intelligence they put into the system, there were always mistakes. Like the time when one of the machines mistook a small and vibrant lilac-colored poisonous mushroom for blueberries, which resulted in the mass poisoning of a haitian community. “A regrettable error, which killed three migrants, but which remains an isolated event,” the ministry of agriculture hastened to communicate.
“artificial intelligence is not so smart and not so artificial, hijita. Because it is always based on human knowledge.” Her grandfather’s words resonated with her. Subsequent research showed that the database used was european, so it did not have much information on local fungi and weeds, especially that fungus. It was believed to be extinct.
local, local, export, local.
that’s why she liked to learn from other sources. Including those old photocopies and illegal scans she got on dubious micro-sd cards from the free street markets. Some were collections of former college students; others, digital libraries from the days of feminist collectives.
local, local, export … and this?
iraida is astonished at the discovery. It is a plant with small, oval, and soft leaves, crowned with yellow flowers, which she swears she has seen in one of her books. She has no idea what it is doing there, fading among the army of similar trees that colonize hills and hills, absorbing water and substrates, leaving no space for other species.
another, older collector smiles mischievously, accentuating the wrinkles in her sun-tanned skin. And leaning close to her ear, she dares to whisper its name:
“it’s rue[[8]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftn8).”
4. Hacker
an awkward morning.
a humidifier that fills the room with steam and the scent of melissa.
his moans. Heavy, asthmatic.
“i hope he goes into cardiac arrest,” amaia thinks.
—curlews have long legs and a curved beak that allows them to forage in mud and sand …
she put on the sheets she hates the most, a military green color. Half-drunk coffee rests on the bedside table.
—this adaptation is crucial for their survival in coastal habitats …
more moans, while he jumps on her vulva as if it were a trampoline. Does he think that this gives her pleasure? Does he think about the pleasure of others? Clearly not.
—curlews are fascinating birds, not only for their distinctive appearance, but also for their long migratory journeys and their ability to adapt to different habitats …
as the narrator’s husky, steady voice sounds over the projection of the smart glasses, her head flies to other places. Inevitably, amaia thinks that about thirty years ago, some white, american guy invented these glasses looking to have all the information at hand. Five years later, another white guy attached it to his biometric verification system, which he forged by systematically buying iris data from countries in emerging economies. And today, because of those glasses—and the whole biometric system—she can’t leave her building until the so-called procreator ejaculates and twenty-four hours of fertilization elapse; but, in exchange, she can watch bird documentaries while enduring the month’s statutory fertilization.
“can you take them off?”
“no.”
because for about ten minutes he can make use of her vagina, but not her eyes nor brain.
she recalls the news that appeared the other day in her feed. “Rape and other sex crimes down 80%,” the government excitedly announced. But then, what was she, all dissociated, putting up with from a procreator? Was it consensual, really? Were the rape figures down? Or were they simply legalized through an app?
—during migration and in wintering areas, curlews often form large flocks. This behavior provides protection from predators and facilitates foraging.
maybe that was the problem. They all needed a flock. She needed one.
a moan, followed by his orgasm, which is more like a convulsion.
—curlews make one of the longest migrations among waders. They can fly up to fifteen thousand kilometers …
at last, her monthly ordeal was over.
they don’t say goodbye or anything. He simply marks “fertilization completed” on the app and hurries out the door, waiting for sibila’s doorbell to ring again, requesting his services in the area.
when she no longer hears his footsteps, amaia opens the small locked drawer on her bedside table and takes out a plant with vibrant yellow flowers. She mixes it with another fragrant, dark green herb.
one cup of boiled water.
a spoonful of rue.
a pinch of parsley.
“but don’t overdose, it can be toxic,” the farmer had told her, sneaking them under the counter.
toxicity was the least of her problems, though. So, she adds an extra leaf, just in case.
let the mixture stand. Just enough to stain the water. But not so much that it cools.
a painful menstruation, another month off.
5. The connection
it didn’t matter how cheap her apartment was.
nor how sad the neighborhood is.
nor how monotonous the work is.
the routine gave her the calm and peace that ava never knew in her childhood.
her morning starts with her organic soy milk and blueberry smoothie—one of the few crops that local agriculture can still sustain. She turns on the humidifier and adds her favorite scent—lavender. She puts on some lo-fi music, which brings her nostalgia for a time she didn’t even live in, but which seems more analog, warm and simple. Ava turns on the screen and checks if the system has thrown any errors. Meanwhile, her smart refrigerator—which perhaps is not so smart, because it consumes electricity in an insane way—checks if it has all the necessary ingredients to prepare her lunch—tofu stew with potatoes. The system detects that she is out of soy sauce, cumin, and potatoes, so it generates an automatic supermarket order. The order should have arrived at 12:05 at her door, but it’s 12:06, 12:12, 12:20 and …
nothing?
so, she opens the refrigerator panel, confirms that the order was placed, retrieves the tracking number, enters it into her smartwatch, and …
a failure of the robot?
the real-time map shows her grocery order stuck in the entrance hallway of her tower. The camera shows the robot unresponsive; from its metal claw dangles an eco-friendly bag made of seaweed.
her routine has already been ruined and with it, her entire day.
and the shadow flicker has not yet started.
“yeah, but it could have been worse. It could have gotten stuck in the middle of the street,” she thinks.
so, with the headache beginning to imprison her skull, she opts to defy her fear of being assaulted or killed and, with a pepper spray concealed under her vest, she peers out of the elevator.
but down there, in the entrance hallway of the building, she doesn’t encounter the crowd of criminals that safer city always threatens. Only a frozen robot and a neighbor who, strangely, is opening the door to the emergency stairs instead of calling the elevator.
ava cannot hide her face of frank surprise.
“i just like to exercise here,” the neighbor explains, pointing to the steps.
but ava’s shock doesn’t disappear from her face. Isn’t she afraid of being assaulted? Or of having an accident?
after a hesitation-filled pause, the other woman says with a smile, “do you want to climb with me?”
that’s how, strangely enough, ava was encouraged to try new things. With the late lunch order hanging from her hand, climbing the ten floors on foot, legs complaining, breathing agitated, limping a little on her right leg, but with the smile of her neighbor easing the journey.
she turns out to be the one who lives in the apartment across the hallway. With an easy smile and fluid conversation, it is not difficult to lower barriers and accept a cup of coffee.
ava enters a home that smells sweet and is served an espresso mixed with tonic and orange from the few plantations that still survive in the area.
her name is amaia and she is a barista. It is a simple job, poorly paid—because it is usually replaced with robots—but it brought her a lot of peace, among milk drawings, vanilla essence and vapors. Probably as much peace as ava felt sheltered in her routine and in her afternoons programming.
“and what do you do?” Amaia asks.
“i am a programmer for sibila. There are few of us human hands, but we exist,” ava adds proudly. But her hostess’s smile dissolves like sugar in her tonic espresso.
“sibila? The reason i get locked in my apartment once a month with the stranger on duty?” Amaia asks with a dry tone, eyes like saucers from sheer annoyance.
“yes, i work there,” ava repeats nervously. “I joined because i wanted to contribute to the country. You know: without children there are no workers, without workers there is no chile,” she repeats in a pamphlet-like voice.
“and didn’t it occur to them to improve women’s living conditions, instead of legalizing rape? Because that’s how i feel: like rape.”
ava’s face begins to glow red, congested. She stares dumbfounded at amaia. Not only because it is the first time she’s met a neighbor. But also because she always believed that her work improved the living conditions of other women.
“but sibila allows you to choose … we work a lot on the presentation cards and the selection …”
“to really choose, i would have to have complete freedom: if i want or don’t want, when i want. Not just ‘with whom i want’. Or do you like …? Ah—” amaia stops suddenly as she takes a better look at ava’s leg and detects the prosthesis. “It hasn’t happened to you, because you’re not in the system, right?”
ava nods slowly.
“thats why you don’t understand,” amaia adds in frustration.
sibila’s programmers are not users of the system. In her case, she is not subjected to the statutory monthly fertilization because she was born with a disability in her leg. The system marks her as an “unhealthy specimen, genetic problems,” and she could only undergo fertilization if the nation escalated to a state of catastrophe. And, currently, they were only in first emergency state.
“so, you haven’t even thought about it? Some of us are subjected to sexual violence and forced motherhood; others are excluded by the system. Do you even know if you want to have sex? Do you know if you want to be a mother someday? Why do others decide for you? Don’t you see? You are not above. You and i are part of the same problem.”
suddenly, ava feels she can’t hold any more information in her head. She mumbles an “i’m sorry, i didnt know,” and, as if staggering, crawls into the hallway and crosses to hide in her apartment.
for a few brief seconds, ava thinks that she might report amaia for unpatriotic behavior.
but her words hurt and bounce back.
are they part of the same problem?
light, shadow, light, light, shadow, light.
the shadow flicker was back.
also, the uneasiness.
6. Malwares
it began as great things usually begin: with small acts.
like that morning when she stumbled upon the rue bush.
the system required her to report the plant and take it to incineration. But iraida didn’t know if it was for its showy yellow flowers or pure curiosity that she saved the seeds. First, she sowed them secretly in a small nursery that she hid inside her bathroom. Then, being invaded by their pungent scent—which could well alert the neighbors—she tried spreading her seeds on the abandoned land under the imposing wind turbines.
contrary to expectations, the rue did not allow itself to be crushed by the shadow and sprouted vigorously on the spot.
she told herself it was just a plant. That it was just a hobby. She didn’t understand what all the banning was about, nor the smile on her co-worker’s face.
then, on one of the mornings when she ventured out to buy her own groceries at the few street markets that survived automation, she came across an old book on natural gynecology, which she quickly loaded onto her hacked tablet. “You’re going to find it very interesting, mi niña,” said the vendor, an old mapuche[[9]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftn9) woman in a headband and silver necklace.
although the cover only said “natural gynecology,” a couple of pages later she came across the real name of the book: “abortion recipe book with medicinal plants.” She had only heard of the word “abortion” in the strong laws against the practice. It would not have occurred to her that it was not the first historical period in which it was forbidden, much less would she have thought that women had always resisted from the margins, with ancestral knowledge and making use of what grew in their backyards.
thus, she learned that by using indian nimbus and wild yam, pregnancy could be prevented, because they had contraceptive properties. And that rue, that forbidden plant which she had been playing at dispersing and cultivating, was a vital herb, because it inhibited the nesting of the fertilized ovum and, if conception had already occurred, it could also be used in conjunction with other plants to stimulate contractions, inducing abortion.
rue, pennyroyal, parsley, mugwort, ginger, chilco[[10]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftn10): fragrant, courageous plants and roots.
plants that they could use for their own autonomy.
to decide yes or no. To decide when.
the next thing was a fluke: she was wandering through the fields checking moisture and substrates, as well as the operation of the cultivation robots, when she came across another worker. Squatting, crouched among the potato bushes, she was moaning in pain.
the worker put a finger over her mouth as a sign to keep silent. Iraida didn’t utter a word, because she understood what she was doing. She had seen it in her books and did not judge her.
iraida disappeared for a few minutes and then reappeared with a deep green tea in her hands. She gave it to the other woman slowly, throat tight trying to drink between pain and fear, and then helped her into a doggy position, palms and feet on the ground. And chanting a soft litany, she massaged her hips with a cloth, side to side, tucking the uterus, until the herbal tea took effect and the worker was free of pain in copious bleeding. She mumbled a “thank you” that would be burned into her memory.
that’s how she knew there was no turning back.
she had the knowledge, the plants, and the women who needed her.
how to go back?
how to remain unchanged?
7. Fatal system error
her morning had started as they all did: with her soy milk and organic blueberry smoothie, turning on the humidifier and adding her favorite scent—lavender—and putting on some lo-fi music to work in front of the screen. It could have been a day of routine and peace, barely interrupted by the fluttering shadows generated by the wind turbines. But just as her refrigerator was getting ready to check the inventory—today it was time to have rice with seaweed for lunch—and to place a new order, she heard them.
the screams.
sharp, painful, tearing the air.
her first reaction was to report it to safer city. But a thought froze her for seconds: she couldn’t be the only one hearing it, could she? If the screams were heartbreaking. And they were so close. So why weren’t there other reports on the app? Why weren’t other neighbors asking in the chat?
of course: fear.
she was so tired of the fear.
so, contradicting all her reasoning and decades of fatalistic news, she grabbed the pepper spray that always rested by her door. She fearfully peeked outside and corroborated that it was amaia, her neighbor across the hall, who was screaming for help.
the rest happened in seconds.
as soon as she saw amaia screaming, lying in the hallway of the building with a guy on top of her, she turned on the pepper spray. The man let out a shriek like a wounded beast. Then, amaia grabbed the delivery robot—who had just left breakfast at the door—and unloaded its twenty kilos of metal on his head, with a force that only someone who trained on the building’s forty flights of stairs could have.
he stopped moving. He even stopped breathing. A trickle of blood began to stain the floor.
“i—i thought he was a regular procreator. But he’s an undercover cop. H-he found my plants, ava,” babbles amaia.
“plants?”
“yes, contraceptive plants. They exist, ava. They still survive, cultivated by women farmers. They hide them in their bathrooms, sell them at the few counters still manned by human hands, like in my coffee shop. I’ve never wanted to be a mother, especially not like this, ava, i …”
amaia cries, overwhelmed. Her tears fall down her neck, onto the floor, and mix with the policeman’s blood.
the building’s camera creaks, sharpens, focuses; its automatic system recognizes the blood. Then the alarm goes off. It’s a matter of seconds before more police arrive.
ava could have reported the situation to safer city. She could have closed the door, claimed she mistook the cop for a mugger, and continued working with the lo-fi in the background in her apartment purchased with a forty-five-year mortgage.
but instead, she led amaia into her kitchen. And tried a trick that once she read about in the tireless forums she checked until the early hours of the morning.
she raised and lowered the levels of the old smart consumer refrigerator once, three times, fifteen times. Until the system failure generated an electromagnetic explosion so big, it set off all the car alarms in the surrounding area, but also disrupted the cameras for a few minutes. .
she took the hand of amaia, who wiped away her tears and looked at her with hiccups from sheer shock.
maybe she could improve the quality of women’s lives. Maybe she could begin to repair all the damage she had done.
they ran down the emergency stairs, ten floors down. Ava felt like she was floating, as if she didn’t have a prosthesis at the end of her right leg.
outside, the sun shone high, announcing the fluttering of wind turbines.
they opened their arms and felt them like wings.
free, migratory.
like curlews.
[[1]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftnref1) kintsugi: japanese practice of repairing fractures in ceramics with gold resin and other metals, turning the object into art.
[[2]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftnref2) shadow flicker: alternating changes in light intensity, caused by the rotation of wind turbine blades projected onto the ground or houses, when the blades interrupt the sun’s rays. This effect can cause discomfort to people and, in extreme cases, have negative effects on photosensitive people.
[[3]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftnref3) the uroboros is a symbol that shows a snake or dragon swallowing its own tail and forming a circle with its body. It symbolizes the eternal cycle of things, also the eternal effort, the eternal struggle, or the useless effort, since the cycle begins again in spite of the actions to prevent it.
[[4]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftnref4) tinnitus is usually described as a ringing in the ears, even if there is no external sound source. It is usually caused by an underlying condition, such as age-related hearing loss, an ear injury, or a circulatory system disorder.
[[5]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftnref5) a nulliparous or nulligesta woman is one who has never given birth to any child.
[[6]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftnref6) the mateada is a social gathering typical of countries such as argentina, uruguay, paraguay, and chile, where mate, an herbal infusion, is shared.
[[7]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftnref7) veneco is a derogatory term to refer to venezuelans. Veneca is its feminine form.
[[8]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftnref8) refers to the plant ruta graveolens.
[[9]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftnref9) the mapuches are the largest indigenous people in chile and argentina. They are known for their historical resistance, first to the spanish crown and then to the republic of chile.
[[10]](http://strangehorizons.Com#_ftnref10) the chilco is an edible, medicinal, and ornamental plant that grows in chile and argentina. |
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|
