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|Home / College Guide / I Went From Happy to Concerned About My Engagement, by Dr. Robert Wallace | Crea
| Posted on Monday, February 12 @ 00:00:04 PST
DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend made me the happiest college student on my campus when he proposed to me late in my sophomore year. Im now a junior and our wedding date is loosely set for the summer of 2025 after I graduate. However, lately Ive been having second thoughts. For the few months after I said, Yes! he treated me even better than he did before that. But shortly thereafter, he started taking me for granted and has been more distant and commanding in his interactions with me. Its a strange mix in that hes either not really present or when he is, hes domineering to the point of pushing me to brink of walking out on him several times, The question Ive been pondering is whether I should wait this behavior out or not. Could he just be stressed and going through a passing phase? His odd behavior really brings me down and has me deeply worried. I keep hoping for the old him to revisit me, but so far, his new persona is both consistent and dominant to the point of considering his wants and needs only, never mine. Ive been dealing this behavior for over nine months thus far. How much longer should I wait to see if he reverts to his former self? — Engaged and Frustrated, via email ENGAGED AND FRUSTRATED: If I were in your shoes, Id cut my losses immediately.
Hes provided you more than a glimpse into what a long-term future with him would look like. Being emotionally pushed to the point of nearly walking out on him multiple times does not sound healthy to me. His mix of usually being distant but occasionally changing things up to become very domineering and commanding does not sound healthy to me. The silver lining to your situation is that you have not yet married him. Do speak with family and friends you trust to be nonjudgmental so that they can counsel you. I trust that their responses will likely mirror mine. Once a person shows you who they truly are over a significant period of time (and nine months is way more than needed here), then you should believe them. IM MOTIVATED BY EARNINGS POWER DR. WALLACE: Im a guy who is graduating high school in a few months, and Im considering college but dont have any major career plans in mind so far. To be honest with you, Im motivated by money. I want a job that will both give me a good starting rate of pay and also provide me opportunities to make even more over time. With this in mind, what field should I study? What career will compensate me well right out of college and allow me to live comfortably and still have enough left to be able to have a fun social life? I like to eat out and spend time entertaining friends and dates, for example.
What field should I go into and why? Wheres the money going to be flowing soon? — Ready To Earn, via email READY TO EARN: Id be remiss if I directed you to one field or another simply based upon starting pay rates, since there are many factors that go into starting salaries in even the most lucrative fields. Where you live geographically, what your experience is, what your skill sets are and how well you present yourself will all likely factor into whether you can get an excellent job in any field, much less what amount of pay you can command right out of college. If you wish to make compensation your primary objective, Id advise you to at least consider trade schools as there are many excellent trade jobs that have very comfortable starting pay scales. If you wish to go the four-year college route, then at least do your best to match up potentially lucrative career paths with your interests, aptitudes and general compatibility for the work that is typically done in those fields. To go outside of all these factors simply to earn more money to start with is a mistake. Remember that literally any field can become quite lucrative over the long run for those that know their business very well and add value to consumers, companies, humanity or our environment as a whole.
Therefore, go with what interests you or where your skills match up well to begin your career. You can always course correct and change jobs as your working days commence. Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [[email protected]](/cdn-cgi/l/email-protection). To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. Photo credit: [Andre Jackson](https://unsplash.com/photos/person-holding-silver-diamond-ring-IXLS59CTgDE) at Unsplash